My mom is dying

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themis01
themis01 Member Posts: 167
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Well as unbelievable as it is my mom is losing her battle to stage 4 cc and is currently making it hour to hour. They are going to do everything possible to get her home today with hospice so she at least will be here. It is so devastating. She did everything to win. She did Folfox, Ironotecan, avastin, erbitux and even had Dr. Sugarbakers intense surgery and nothing would stop this beast. I am so crushed for her she so wanted to live and see her grandchildren grow up. This is such a loss for our family I just cannot describe it.
Erika
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  • Moesimo
    Moesimo Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #2
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    I am sending you a hug. This is a terrible disease. I hope your mom makes it home and that she is comfortable. Try to remember the good times witn your mom. You are a loving daughter and I am sure your mom appreciates that, esp. while she was ill. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

    Moe
  • jerseysue
    jerseysue Member Posts: 624 Member
    #3
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    Everytime I here that someone lost/losing the battle I want to scream. I too am stage 4 and I like your Mom have been fighting since the day I was dx. My prayers are with you and your family.
  • alihamilton
    alihamilton Member Posts: 347 Member
    #4
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    Erika, my heart goes out to you at this time. How sad for you and your family. Your mum has fought the battle and now needs to be at peace. You have done all you can as a good and loving daughter. Be there with her as you have been there throughout this. Take care of yourself,

    Ali
  • finner
    finner Member Posts: 230 Member
    #5
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    Erika
    So sorry to hear all of this that you are going through. My thoughts are and wil be with you in this sad time.To write "my mom is dying" must be so difficult to do.There may be comfort for you in the fact that you were such good support for her and maybe there is a mind set that you can getinto to make it not so difficult for you. I don't know what though.

    Margo
    XXXX









    Margo
    XXX
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #6
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    Erika,

    I'm so sorry. Your mom fought this disease with all her strength and courage. I hate this disease.

    Please know that you, your mom and your family will be in my prayers and thoughts.

    Kerry
  • Btrcup
    Btrcup Member Posts: 286
    #7
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    Erika, I was so saddened by your news. I hate this disease. It has taken too many good people. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts today. Hospice is wonderful. They took great care of Scott.

    Linda
  • pink05
    pink05 Member Posts: 550
    #8
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    Erika,

    I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I understand how you feel because I want so badly for my father to see my first baby (4 1/2) months grow, but I'm not so sure if that will happen. I will say a prayer for you and your mother.

    -Lee-
  • deneenb
    deneenb Member Posts: 130
    #9
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    Erika,
    I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I have been thinking about you alot lately. Please give me a call if you feel like talking. You and your family are in my prayers.

    Sincerely,
    Deneen
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #10
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    (((((erika))))))

    I am so sorry your mother is dying. I hope she finds peace and that you do eventually. The hole she leaves, I don't think, ever gets filled.

    I send you prayers for you and your family.

    peace, emily
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
    #11
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    Dear Erika,

    May you friends and family surround you will love and comfort during this most difficult of times. I pray that you will find the strength to get through the next few weeks.

    Love,

    Kay
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #12
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    Erika,
    I am sending strength to you right now. I too hope that your mom makes it home. She is so lucky to have you there, both for the fight and now the rest. I came into this whole thing a year ago somehow refusing to believe that anything really bad could ever happen. I've since learned. There are some wonderful recent posts about caregivers and when they just need to understand that there is a reason when the treatments stop. Not to give false hope, but occasionally, when our angels find it so, after all hope seems to be used up, a miracle happens. I hope this for your mom. When my dad died, my kids were young, and so I picked out a star and told them that it was him, looking down. That they could talk to him anytime they wanted, and he would listen. If her grandkids are young, and if necessary, maybe this will help. Although I'm still hoping for the miracle.
    Kathi
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    #13
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    Erika,

    I am so sorry for the toment this beast has caused on your family. May your mother and your family be a peace.

    Concentrate on your wonderful memories and simply love her. Please know we are here if you need anything. I hope hospice helps you all.

    I will send up a special prayer for your mom today.

    jana
  • rthornton
    rthornton Member Posts: 346 Member
    #14
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    Hi Erika,

    I'm very sorry to hear about your mother, and all that you and she have been through. My own mother died from colon cancer the day I turned 18 and I remember what a struggle it is to be a caregiver. But at least she's had you there for the struggle, and she still has you there, and by being there for her you have done what a great daughter can do. Hold on to all the good memories and know that soon she can rest, and soon you can also rest.

    Rodney
  • marym29
    marym29 Member Posts: 71 Member
    #15
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    Dear Erika,
    My name is, Mary, and I am from Wisconsin. I just wanted to say that "I am SO sorry" for the pain you and your family must be going through at this time.

    You are ALL "officially" on my thoughts and prayers mental list.

    Please feel free to contact me anytime for anything you may need.

    My mom was dx with stage IV colon cancer at the end of Jan 06. And believe it or not; I am having a much harder time with this than she even is.

    And I would have thought something like this would bring our immediate family "closer together"? Totally the opposite; thus the reason "why" I have been on this site since her dx so..

    God Bless you and your entire family, sweetie!
    Much Love,
    Mary from Wisconsin
  • Betsydoglover
    Betsydoglover Member Posts: 1,248 Member
    #16
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    Hi Erika -

    I am so sorry that your Mom and you have to face this terrible disease. I hope she is able to come home. Please know that by being there for her you are undoubtedly helping far more than she can explain to you. Keep on being a good daughter, and I am SO sorry you have to go through this. I'll say a prayer for you and your Mom.

    And, having just lost my Mom, though to a different disease, I know just how hard that it. So, my thoughts are with you.

    Betsy
  • mindy10
    mindy10 Member Posts: 182 Member
    #17
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    Betsydoglover said:

    Hi Erika -

    I am so sorry that your Mom and you have to face this terrible disease. I hope she is able to come home. Please know that by being there for her you are undoubtedly helping far more than she can explain to you. Keep on being a good daughter, and I am SO sorry you have to go through this. I'll say a prayer for you and your Mom.

    And, having just lost my Mom, though to a different disease, I know just how hard that it. So, my thoughts are with you.

    Betsy

    Dear Erika, im so sorry to hear about the news of your mother. I know she fought like hell to keep alive. My dad has stage 4 colon cancer and I dread the day that it will all come to an end. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better right now. Just be there for each other and I hope you have a family that can support you right now. This is the hardest part of this disease and I pray for you and your mom and for god to give you the strength. Mindy
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #18
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    mindy10 said:

    Dear Erika, im so sorry to hear about the news of your mother. I know she fought like hell to keep alive. My dad has stage 4 colon cancer and I dread the day that it will all come to an end. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better right now. Just be there for each other and I hope you have a family that can support you right now. This is the hardest part of this disease and I pray for you and your mom and for god to give you the strength. Mindy

    Erika....for over 2 years I have been coming to CSN and for all that time I have sent "rainbows" to those in need of support. The rainbow has a special meaning for Jen and I and one day I will tell you all why. But for now, know that at the end of the rainbow is a special love....the rainbow IS "the gift of love. We send that love to you knowing that at this time you are enduring the hardest days of your life. We want to share that time with you in our thoughts.
    Close your eyes sweetie.....you will see our rainbow!
    ....use your mothers strength to endure....you were given that at birth.
    All our love, Ross and Jen
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #19
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    Hi Erika:

    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I am at a complete loss for words now. Here's the lyrics to an old American song which has comforted me time and again - maybe it can offer you some comfort too.

    "A Perfect Day" (1910)
    Words and Music by
    Carrie Jacobs-Bond, 1862-1946

    When you come to the end of a perfect day,
    And you sit alone with your thought,
    While the chimes ring out with a carol gay,
    For the joy that the day has brought,
    Do you think what the end of a perfect day
    Can mean to tired heart,
    When the sun goes down with a flaming ray,
    And the dear hearts have to part?

    Well, this is the end of a perfect day,
    Near the end of a journey, too,
    But it leaves a thought that is big and strong,
    With a wish that is kind and true.
    For mem'ry has painted this perfect day
    With colors that never fade,
    And we find at the end of a perfect day,
    The soul of a friend we've made.
  • terril
    terril Member Posts: 296
    #20
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    I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Moms are so special. I lost my mom 13 years ago and it still hurts. I wanted her to be with me as I went through this cancer diagnosis. But I do know she is with me all the time as I later discovered. I pray for you and your family as you go through this journey with her. You are a wonderful daughter to care and love your mom so much. Remember...she will always be with you. Terri
  • dash4
    dash4 Member Posts: 303 Member
    #21
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    Hi Erika,
    you and your mom are in my prayers.....I know everyone says she is finding her peace she so desperately deserves-which I believe is so true, but I still feel sad for you and her. My husband is stage IV also and fighting every day ----he has only verbalized 2 of his saddest thoughts and one is that he may never get to see his grandchildren--that has always been one of his fondest wishes--i think that simple statement has been the hardest for me to live with--so I feel for what I know you must be going through right now. May peace be with you and your family.
    Dash

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