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what to expect

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2006

hello this is my first post. my grandfather has stage IV colon cancer. He was diagnosed jan 2004. He also has a spot on his kidney, most of his liver is consumed. We recently found out that he had a tumor in his neck which was compressing his spinal cord. Also lymph node positive, and small lesion on one of his joints. He has had a hard time recently as far as pain goes. He has done many rounds of chemo at this point. Over the past week he has had a hard time geting out of bed and is in more severe pain now more in the groin area. next fri he has a pet scan. In the beginning they gave him only months. It has been over 2 years. I just wonder if we are crazy to think he could still have another year. Or how do you know when the end is approaching? what are some signs that the cancer is progressing. It is so difficult to watch him go through this. He is such a prideful man and has never asked anybody for any kind of help. At this point we spend as much time as we can with him. Yet he gets very angry and crabby and sometimes doesnt want to see anybody. My grandmother call crying because of things he says to her and yells at her. This is the first time my family has gone through any thing like this and frankly nobody knows what to do. any thoughts greatly appreciated

nanuk's picture
Posts: 1362
Joined: Dec 2003

It sounds as if your gradfather's time may be short, althugh one never knows how much time god has allotted..if he is in pain, he shouldn't be-there are medications available to make him comfortable. Check with your Dr. about Hospice, and contact them for assistance. They can help with the pain,and provide care in the home. Nanuk

well's picture
Posts: 26
Joined: Apr 2005

And one more thing about hospice, dazie, if his time is indeed short. They are also great about dealing with the family, which is an entirely important but different matter as well. You and also his wife, deserve support in this difficult time.

staceyp's picture
Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi Dazie,

I am a social work intern at a wonderful Hospice agency. I agree with the others. Hospice would be a great resource for your grandfather and the rest of the family. I have witnessed the many benefits of Hospice. Your grandfather would qualify for services and, if he has Medicare, it would not cost any money. Let me know if you need any more information. I'd be glad to help.


Posts: 719
Joined: Feb 2005

I am so incredibly sorry for the ill-health and trauma with your grandfather; and I am especially sorry for your grandmother - she greatly needs support. How hard it must be for her to witness mood swings and verbal abuse from someone she is trying to care for in this hard phase of both his and her life. I wish you all the strength in the world. I do not have any medical answers for you, but my thoughts and my intentions are with you for peace and I hope for a loving end to your grandfather's life. All the best to you, Maura

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Dazie and welcome. I am sorry to hear that your grandfather has this horrid disease.Dealing with the emotional trauma is unfortunately a terrible load on family, carers and friends. Your grandfathers mood swings are pretty much what we all go thru and that makes it very tough on everyone surrounding him. Over here in oz we have access to cancer clinical phsycologists at most medical centres. I hope this is the same where you are located. Phsycologists are trained to assist close family and carers to deal with the emotional issues. My wife and I both used these services in the months following my surgery and during my chemo administration. There is no doubt that those sessions were beneficial to us both. I would certainly recommend that you seek out any professional advice/counselling that may be available. This applies to your grandmother as well. Admiting to the inability to cope with traumatic/emotional issues does not show weakness or shame....we all need outside help and should never try to deal with such stress alone.
Ross and Jen

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