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thank you all so much.. river has stopped

BonnieR's picture
Posts: 1549
Joined: Jan 2004

Good morning everyone, I am now doing so much better. Thank you for all the prayers and support. The river of tears stopped before Minnesota was flooded. :-)

I am feeling pretty dang good, after sleeping from Friday afternoon to Sunday, not sure how a person can sleep so much. I have to tell you that my stubbornness has kicked in; I have never just given up on anything without a bit of fight. Just ask my family.

Randy and I talked again on Sunday about what the Dr said, and we both agree I have to make sure the Dr knows, even though I do not want to be kept alive on machines, not to give up on me either. I don't mind another surgery if possible, or a colostomy or whatever I need to do to be here with my family and friends for a longer time.

The information and questions the Doc shared last Wednesday was just a lot to absorb, but now that the fight mode has kicked in I am feeling much better. We will not know until the end of the month if the gemzar is slowing the cancer down, and who knows it could shrink it, each person is different

My Doc is a good Dr but he doesn't have all the answers and just sees, how in spite of all we've tried, the disease just won't stop. But I am not a statistic I am a living breathing person and my longevity with this disease can be much different than someone else’s.

Also, I am still sewing quilts for all my grandkids and not done yet. And once I finish these, I know God will have someone else for me to sew for. :-)

I started drinking Mangostene juice last week; a friend brought it for me to try. It is full of antioxidants, and even though it isn’t the best tasting, I am drinking it faithfully everyday. It cannot hurt and maybe is what my body needs to make it through this next chemo. They have such a big heart and the love that came with the juice is what will actually help carry me on and probably be the antioxident needed for healing. As love for each other, compassion, caring, nurturing, that is what helps heal and gives one strength.

I also asked God if he was waiting so Drs could not take credit for my healing ...... I am ready now.

Well just wanted to let everyone know I am doing well and came out of the pit I fell into. Lucky for us God gave us tears to wash the stress and anxieties from our souls when needed. I love you all and so much appreciates all the support.

Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Posts: 1995
Joined: May 2003

Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie - you do my heart good. Such a warmth has come over me reading your post this morning. How true the scripture rings, that essentially we go through what we must (with His comfort) so that we may in turn be a comfort to others. ALL GOOD THINGS COME FROM ABOVE! I don't know what I would do without Him to sustain me - albeit through so many others in my life, including you.

I knew that 'fight' mode would kick in. Sometimes we're just too tired to move on. But it appears that your lengthy rest was of a great help to you, to enable you to think clearly and face what has been put before you. We all should be so blessed to have your perserverance and strength. But since He is all things to all people, we ALL HAVE IT! Just need to realize and rely on it. Yes, while my doctor is 'the best' according to me and so many others, I must realize that he and the medical profession are only human. The rest is up to the Great Physician!

So, continue the healthy juice your blessed friend has brought you. Some people are so against 'natural' approaches. But I say at this point, what have you got to lose? He's given us so many wonderful things on this earth to use and enjoy. I am a very strong supporter of that.

Well, 5 1/2 days and counting for me. So I will get moving this morning with His strength and INSPIRATION FROM YOU. God Bless you, Bonnie. I will talk to you soon.


Posts: 650
Joined: Mar 2003

Bonnie, it is so good to hear that you're going to put on a positive face on and not fall into the easy trap of self-pity! My husband squelched my initial thoughts of "woe-is-me" en route to the hospital for surgery-he let me know that it wasn't going to be entertained, so I decided it wasn't going to happen. You've been through a lot more than I have, and I admire your courage and resolution.

I'll keep praying for you, and hope the gemzar will produce positive results. Your family, friends and your faith in God will certainly help you!

megbrorn's picture
Posts: 13
Joined: Apr 2005

Bonnie, You helped me so much when my mother in law had her recurrnace. I check on my fellow OV CA disscussions frequently and was saddened to see that your cancer had returned. I believe that we will all know when our work is done here. My dear, you work is not done. Keep fighting and sewing!

Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2005

Bonnie, I was glad to see your post too. I was wondering are you a candidate for the new IP chemo? You are so brave..Stay Positive and remember we are all here for you!

Posts: 93
Joined: Jul 2005

Bonnie, I'm here if you ever need me. You will remain in my prayers. Keep us informed. Best of Luck! Paula

mssue's picture
Posts: 243
Joined: Oct 2003

Dear Bonnie,
I am so glad You got Your second wind. I will try to remember Your courage and wisdom as I make my trip to Mississippi to be with my Sister for her surgery,I probably won't have access to a computer while there(I may go crazy)whoops I think I have already been there.But I will keep You close through prayer.And again I think You are an Amazing Example of a True Survivor-they aren't just words You are living proof. May God Bless You and Your Family.I will head out around 3 or 4 am Saturday morning,I'm going alone except maybe my Young bird-it will be a long trip,but God willing I'll make it safely.If anyone sees me post within the next month You'll know I found a computer down there-he-he.I figure I'll be gone at least 2 weeks but probably more,so Happy Valentines Day!!!

Posts: 163
Joined: Aug 2005

Hello Bonnie. So glad to hear you haven't given up - that's the worse thing you could do. I just had another surgery two weeks ago, and they found small amounts of tumor, so I've already started Gemzar too! I also go to a Naturopathic doctor, and last week he added a product called "Zeolite" to my regimen of vitamins and minerals. It is a mineral that comes out of volcanic ash. He said that there has been amazing results using it in terminal patients. You can get it from a web site called walora.com. It is $55.00 per little bottle. He has me taking it three times a day - 10 drops each time. Apparently, it helps keep your body ph balanced (great against cancer), and also detoxifies the cells of metals, etc. I only have his word about the success stories with it, but he is considered a very noteworthy doctor in our region of the country. So, for what it's worth, that's what I'm doing in addition to the Gemzar. Keep up the positive attitude.......we all need your help too! With hope, MichaelaMarie

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