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Complete badness

jana11
Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

Ran into the oncologist at the gym this afternoon. We both did our seperate workouts and then he called my husband and I over to let me know the spot has grown.

It started as a <3mm area of unknown inflammation, now it is >3 cm mass. The thoracic surgeon states I don't have time for pre-op chemo... that if I wait, the tumor could grow so big my entire right lung would need to be removed. SIGH... my onc already set everthing up with all the surgeons... I am scheduled for another thoracotomy in 10 days on Sept 28th. AGH AGH AGH AGH.

I feel great!! I can't believe I have this large mass in my right lung!!!!!!!!!!!!! This sucks sooo bad.

And, i have a clotting disorder that caused a sm stroke 12/03 - which makes avastin a very risky drug for me.

Enough of the why me syndrome, everyone here is in it with me; but I am getting sick of this sh--.

Thanks for all your responses and support. I really am a bit lost with this one. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. j

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1250
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi Jana,

I know you must be devastated. You know, everytime I read one of your posts, I am in total awe at how well you have done. And you know, this will be no different. Trust me, I am not a "Pollyanna" type that thinks every cloud has a silver lining. I believe that there are huge dark clouds that weigh heavily on everyone at one time or another. But you have such composure and strength that is just SO amazing! I really believe that detection is key. I think that a lot of people fall victim simply due to lack of detection, thus lack of treatment.

Try to stay strong. You are one tough cookie, and if anyone can whip this, it's you! You will remain in my thoughts and positive energy to get you through this.

Baby steps lead to great progress!

Stacy

Moesimo's picture
Moesimo
Posts: 1080
Joined: Aug 2003

Jana,

I am sooooo sorry that you have such bad news. This whole cancer thing really sucks. I will prya that you tolerate the surgery well and that it will make you cancer free. Remember that we are all here for you. Feel free to vent whenever you want.

Maureen

Moesimo's picture
Moesimo
Posts: 1080
Joined: Aug 2003

Jana,

I am sooooo sorry that you have such bad news. This whole cancer thing really sucks. I will pray that you tolerate the surgery well and that it will make you cancer free. Remember that we are all here for you. Feel free to vent whenever you want.

Maureen

crazylady
Posts: 544
Joined: Jun 2004

Hi Jana,
I'm so sorry to hear that you received bad news. The whole thing sucks big time!!!! Your're a strong person and I know that you'll do well in surgery.
Stay positive. I'll be thinking about you and sending positive energy your way.
Jamie

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

Oh, Jana -- I am so very sorry. Auuughghg! And you've been feeling so well.

You are a WARRIOR. And we are all 100% behind you. Feel free to rant here anytime.
Sending love and support your way. Will be thinking of you on 28 Sept (and every day before and after!).
Tara

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Jana. I have noted the date gal and be sure that you will hear from us wishing you well the week before your surgery. Another hurdle to jump..another challenge put before you. We are sending our best wishes Jana....and our love gal.

(btw..when you "ran into your oncologist...did yah hurt him?)
Aw----sorry Jana..'ol kanga's way of tryin ta cheer yah up sweetie!
huggs, kanga n Jen

steved
Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

Jana,

Hae been away from the site for a while and was saddened too read of your recent problems. This frustration regarding having major treatments when we don't feel unwell in ourselves (and know we will feel unwell after teh treatment) is so hard to cope with. Keeping an eye on the long term goals is often the only way to stay sane. know that in a year or two the struggle of getting through another operation would have faded into meemory and the aim of a cnecer free future is still what we all aim for. We each have to take whatever path there is to get there though and for some that path is more rocky than for others.
Will be thinking of you and hoping for a quick recovery and positive results,
Steve

goldfinch's picture
goldfinch
Posts: 737
Joined: Oct 2003

Jana,
What rotten news! I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you as you figure out how to cope with this new twist. I'm glad you are feeling so well. That will help you to heal quickly from the surgery. Hang in there!
Mary

kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Jana,

I'm so sorry about your scan results. I know that this is devastating to you, but you have the fight in you to beat this disease. I know you took the Oxaliplatin last time, but have you taken Erbitux? My doctor is hesitant to put me on Avastin also.

Jana, we will check with you before you go in for your procedure....we'll all be here for you with our prayers and all the strength and good vibes we can send your way.

I'll be in Houston on October 30 - I'll bring you a copy of the video from the Colon Palooza so you can see the gang there.

Hang in there sweetie. You know you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Kerry

juliababy
Posts: 130
Joined: Sep 2004

Cancer SUCKS!!! I am so so sorry to hear such bad news but i know that like the last time, you will come through this like a true fighter. Your spirit, determination and positive attitude never seizes to amaze me. Yes again, this was very bad news, but YOU WILL BE FINE!

Take care and you will be in my prayers,

susana

Btrcup's picture
Btrcup
Posts: 287
Joined: Jun 2004

Jana, I am so sorry to hear your news. Scott and I are going through some rough times ourselves. This cancer really sucks. My 8yo son keeps asking me why God made cancer. I don't even know how to answer that.

You will be in our prayers.

Linda

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

(((((jana)))))

this really stinks!

www.discountjuicers.com

It's worth a try. Think Scouty.

You, as do all here, remain in my prayers.

peace, emily

Kanort's picture
Kanort
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Dear Jana,

The news was not what we wanted to hear, but it sounds like your oncologist has a plan to get rid of it and quick. The fact that you are in such excellent shape will help in your recovery. Please know we will be praying long and hard for your complete healing.

Love,

Kay

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Jana,
You are right; this sucks. I am so sorry to hear about this turn in the road. But, as others have said, you are one tough customer. I have been so impressed with your level headedness when reaching out to others, I hope we all can do as well by you.
The contrast between feeling so great and harboring the beast is scary, but your surgeon will take care of that, and you have the advantage of being in good shape pre-op, which always helps.
(I also can't believe that your onc spoke with you in the gym; do you think that may have contributed to the feeling of getting knocked off your pins?)
So, hope you are back in fight mode; as my surgeon said: "Let's go knock this sucker out".
You remain in my thoughts, with many positive vibes coming your way. Hang in there, Judy

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