new here, in treatment

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mattsmom05
mattsmom05 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi! I am 30 and just had a son in Feb and in March dgn with breast cancer, Stage I, nodes neg and no vascular invansion. I have had 5 treatments of chemo so far and one left. I have had a radical bilateral masc. I am also hormone neg and her2n neg. I just wanted to finally write something. I have been so positive during the diagnosis and surgery, and so far through treatment. I just been overwelmed. And probably in a little denial. Right now everything is sinking in. So I am a bit emtional. The funny thing is some people feel I shouldn't be emtional because it is almost over. but i feel like this is just the beginning. Sorry I just needed to vent some. I don't talk much about this.

thanks for listening,
denise

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  • BonnieT
    BonnieT Member Posts: 13
    #2
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    HI
    This is a great place to vent and ask ?'s
    My family and friends are very supportive but it is nice to "chat" with people who know what you are going thru.
    I also stayed very positive thru chemo, rad
    but it is OK to cry and get angry , just keep in mind that we are here for you.It is hard to stay positive all the time. I usually cry and then I get mad, and think I am NOT going to let cancer get to me,it can go after my body but not my soul.I strongly believe that a healthy positive attitude helps you beat this !!
    Stay strong but remember it is good to cry and let it out too.
    keep us posted
    Bonnie T
  • LorettaB
    LorettaB Member Posts: 51
    #3
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    Hi, Denise,

    First, congrats on almost being done with chemo!

    Second, this is the place to vent. I have been helped countless times by my bc sisters on this board.

    But more importantly, I want to address your experience of some people feeling you shouldn't be emotional because it's almost over.

    I come from a family of "pull yourself up by the boot straps" thinking. It has made me very strong. But in a lot of ways, I end up in denial of my real feelings. When I had finally finished chemo and was in my third week, my mother (35 year survivor, bc, no chemo, no rads!) called me up very early in the morning. I was feeling pretty bad and I told her that I just couldn't talk because I was in pain. Her response was "Well, I thought that was all over", meaning I should be all better now. I called her later and told her that I wasn't "over it" and it would take time for me to re-adjust back to "normal" life. And I was like you; totally positive during the ordeal. But this experience made me realize I am not going to take on someone else's perception of how I should be feeling! In fact, I have now accepted that if I don't feel so hot, well then, I don't. And if people ask, I'll tell 'em. Good Lord, I had to deal with cancer, give me a break!

    This is hard stuff. Surgery, Chemo, Rads, going back to "Normal Life". Vent all you want. You earned it! Here's to being strong and seeing all this crap through!

    Lo
  • SusanAnne
    SusanAnne Member Posts: 245
    #4
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    Hi Denise,

    My oncologist likes to use this analogy: If you are in a burning building, you do everything in your power to get out safely. It's not until you are sitting on the curb looking back at the burned mess that you fall apart. Perhaps you can explain it to others in this way. What you are experiencing is absolutely normal. Maybe you should talk MORE about this rather than keeping it to yourself. Having cancer is more than just going thru treatments.

    Susan
  • LorettaB
    LorettaB Member Posts: 51
    #5
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    SusanAnne said:

    Hi Denise,

    My oncologist likes to use this analogy: If you are in a burning building, you do everything in your power to get out safely. It's not until you are sitting on the curb looking back at the burned mess that you fall apart. Perhaps you can explain it to others in this way. What you are experiencing is absolutely normal. Maybe you should talk MORE about this rather than keeping it to yourself. Having cancer is more than just going thru treatments.

    Susan

    Hi, Susan,

    I have copied and pasted that analogy to my desktop. Love it.

    Lo
  • mattsmom05
    mattsmom05 Member Posts: 4
    #6
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    BonnieT said:

    HI
    This is a great place to vent and ask ?'s
    My family and friends are very supportive but it is nice to "chat" with people who know what you are going thru.
    I also stayed very positive thru chemo, rad
    but it is OK to cry and get angry , just keep in mind that we are here for you.It is hard to stay positive all the time. I usually cry and then I get mad, and think I am NOT going to let cancer get to me,it can go after my body but not my soul.I strongly believe that a healthy positive attitude helps you beat this !!
    Stay strong but remember it is good to cry and let it out too.
    keep us posted
    Bonnie T

    thank you all for your support and comments that have helped me alot. I was feeling guitlty at first for even venting. But I feel much better that there are people like you at there with the same feeling that I am going through.

    thanks,
    denise

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