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ALL.ANGELS. HERE

ramona41's picture
ramona41
Posts: 72
Joined: Jul 2004

Hi all. Like so many here..i dont post often but read weekly and often more. Last year I found this site just about this time... was 41 and dx with rectal cancer..marked for a bag..surgery wasnt sure what i would wake up with. Didnt end up with a bag.. but was in hospital for 8 days and 32 staples later. Healed up and had six mos chemo and 6 weeks radiation. Often times when i was down..i came here.posted fears and questions and so many of you responded and shared your own experiences with me. I thank you so much. In a month I go for my first yearly colonoscopy and I feel the fear sneaking up on me again. all blood tests and pet scans .. mri's all have been good.. but ya know its like someone said.after having cancer you go thru life whith your check engine light on. but I am hoping for the best..have been back to work for about two mos now..part time. I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all the angels here..when I needed a laugh you guys/gals were here..* Angels fly because they take themselves so lightly*.. and I know we are all in this together no matter what stage we are at in our cancers.. *We are all angels with only one wing...we can fly only by embracing one another.. so I wanted to say thanks.. and please know that a lot of us read daily and may not post..but take strength from you all.. steps down off my soap box... thanks to you all.. and happy fourth.. love ya all like the step brothers and sisters i never wanted..heh heh..peace..ramona41

CAMaura
Posts: 719
Joined: Feb 2005

Hi Ramona,

You are so sweet to post such lovely sentiment. I can understand your fears.....I probably have my colonoscopy (post chemo) just about the same time that yours is scheduled. I have been feeling as if there is a paranoid bird on my shoulder....I have a headache-it's a brain tumor, any intestinal distress-another tumor there as well.....One of the nicest things about reading other posts is that I feel more normal about my fears - and can laugh at them (I hope).
Take care and come here more often. You have wonderful things to say.

Cheers,
Maura

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing! :-)

peace, emily

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

Ramona,

Are we the good step relatives or the evil ones? I guess we are the former since I'v never heard of evil angels.

Seriously, thanks for your lovely words. They warmed my heart.

Lisa P.

JKendall
Posts: 186
Joined: Nov 2004

Hi Ramona...I'm glad all is going well for you, and I understand what you're saying about the paranoid bird (from a caregiver's perspective though). I like your illustration of angels with one wing flying embraced together. My wife is scheduled for a PET scan in a couple of weeks...the second since her surgery. It gets harder to not worry or be apprehensive as the date approaches. And the blood tests that hover around the "red line" threshhold of acceptable/unacceptable.

Then there's days like birthdays and holidays. You're so pleased to share another one...yet you can't help but worry how many more there are left to share. Especially when we read about others who have finally been overtaken by this wretched invader.

May I join you in thanking those who console, uplift, educate and humor the rest of us? This is a great group of souls here, isn't it. God bless the whole lot.

Jimmy

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

I reckon the real angels are the carers Ramona...their lives are shattered and they have the added burden f trying to understand how sufferers feel sometimes. It's pretty hard for them.....sometimes they have to deal with so much misery......yet still need to be able to function and keep family affairs running. Yup.........people like my Jen are the real angels. Those of us who have cancer can understand each other and the things we feel and the fear we share........but carers have to put up with much more.
Keep your fear in check Ramona......we both hope like hell that all your tests come out ok.
Luv, kanga n Jen

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