Mom-Colorectal Stage 3-4

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chellesandell
chellesandell Member Posts: 12
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Looking at some of the discussions gives me hope - because Surgeon did not. They opened Mom up for double colostomy because her bowels were blocked supposedly from a contained 10 cm tumor but everything was ok and could be cured. After surgery has now said it looked pretty bad, and has spread to all of her female organs and not sure where else. Not giving her good prognosis. Is it really as bad as the picture he paints, maybe 2 years living?

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  • BSNC
    BSNC Member Posts: 14
    #2
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    It's never fun hearing this type of stuff...I am convinced the medical schools teach a class entitled "Lack of Compassion". I guess they have to give it to you the worst way so you don't shoot them if things got worse than they said. Whatever...

    Listen, I had a surgeon tell me something that was prophetic in my opinion. He asked if I had gotten my pathology results (this was right after surgery; I was stage 3c, 6 nodes involved). I told him "yes, I've already gotten the lovely news" and then he told me something that immediately stuck with me. He said "your destiny is in your own hands". By that he meant that, sure, we can remove your tumor and give you chemo but your attitude towards the situation is what will carry you thru the whole ordeal. It's tough stuff having someone tell you that you have less than a ___% of living beyond ___ years...fill in the blanks however you wish. For me personally, I got really angry when I started hearing the statistics. I'm 43, in relative good health, with no other prior diseases. How can you bundle me in with everyone else from 9-90 years old and with who knows what other problems?!? I take it one day at a time (and some of the days have been terrible, I will admit) and I'm thankful for every day.

    I've stared a blog, visit it and you'll get an idea of where I've been and how I'm approaching this challenge in life. Don't let the docs intimidate you; challenge them for more info, and get a second opinion. Remember, you are fighting for her life! Good luck and God speed to you all. Brian.

    http://briansjourney.blogspot.com
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #3
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    chellesandell -

    First and foremost, I would suggest you get a second and/or thord opinion on that. Just because cancer has spread is not a death sentence. There are a number f folks here who are stage 4 and they are doing quite well. My mom is stage 4 and she is quite well. It is not that uncommon for CRC to spread into visceral organs like female reproductive organs. There are a number of ways to treat it from surgery (hystorectemy), to hot chemo bath, to radiation to traditional chemotherapy, to eastern and homeopathic treatments. Talk to your mom's doctor. Take an active role - along with her - in developing a treatment plan with the doctor. If your doc (surgeon? oncologist?) won't work with you or is not motivated to seek out a cure, fire him or her and move on. Find one that is motivated and will seek a cure.

    Keeping you and your mom in my prayers

    - SpongeBob
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #4
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    BSNC said:

    It's never fun hearing this type of stuff...I am convinced the medical schools teach a class entitled "Lack of Compassion". I guess they have to give it to you the worst way so you don't shoot them if things got worse than they said. Whatever...

    Listen, I had a surgeon tell me something that was prophetic in my opinion. He asked if I had gotten my pathology results (this was right after surgery; I was stage 3c, 6 nodes involved). I told him "yes, I've already gotten the lovely news" and then he told me something that immediately stuck with me. He said "your destiny is in your own hands". By that he meant that, sure, we can remove your tumor and give you chemo but your attitude towards the situation is what will carry you thru the whole ordeal. It's tough stuff having someone tell you that you have less than a ___% of living beyond ___ years...fill in the blanks however you wish. For me personally, I got really angry when I started hearing the statistics. I'm 43, in relative good health, with no other prior diseases. How can you bundle me in with everyone else from 9-90 years old and with who knows what other problems?!? I take it one day at a time (and some of the days have been terrible, I will admit) and I'm thankful for every day.

    I've stared a blog, visit it and you'll get an idea of where I've been and how I'm approaching this challenge in life. Don't let the docs intimidate you; challenge them for more info, and get a second opinion. Remember, you are fighting for her life! Good luck and God speed to you all. Brian.

    http://briansjourney.blogspot.com

    Brian -

    What you wrote there was really on the mark. BRAVO!

    Thanks!

    - SpongeBob
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #5
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    spongebob said:

    chellesandell -

    First and foremost, I would suggest you get a second and/or thord opinion on that. Just because cancer has spread is not a death sentence. There are a number f folks here who are stage 4 and they are doing quite well. My mom is stage 4 and she is quite well. It is not that uncommon for CRC to spread into visceral organs like female reproductive organs. There are a number of ways to treat it from surgery (hystorectemy), to hot chemo bath, to radiation to traditional chemotherapy, to eastern and homeopathic treatments. Talk to your mom's doctor. Take an active role - along with her - in developing a treatment plan with the doctor. If your doc (surgeon? oncologist?) won't work with you or is not motivated to seek out a cure, fire him or her and move on. Find one that is motivated and will seek a cure.

    Keeping you and your mom in my prayers

    - SpongeBob

    All of the above.......and......make sure that you take control of your own health. In as much as this is a horrid situation to be in your mum's health will also be dictated by the way in which those around her react. By taking conrol of your life and not running yourself down you are able to give your mum the best support available. You ar absolutely no good to her if you take a negaive pproach.......every single thing now needs to become positive no matter how hard things get. That does not mean to say that your emtions need to be kept in check. In some ways showing emotion.....even to your mum is not a bad thing. She will understand that you will be worried and this will re-affirm your love and care for each other. You have the hardest job of all......being a carer for mum. Whatever happens......there are those here that are the apitomy of courage and strength who are living proof that even to stage 4 survival is possible.....never lose hope!
    love and huggs, kanga n Jen
  • CAMaura
    CAMaura Member Posts: 719 Member
    #6
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    Such good posts, guys, Thanks.
  • chellesandell
    chellesandell Member Posts: 12
    #7
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    Thank you so much for the much needed encouragement. This site and all of you are true Godsends. Friends have also been coming forward with their battle stories and suggestions so I am not feeling so overwhelmed by the lack of answers from the Docs. I've been reading through alot of books for various health regiments to help with her weakness. We start her radiation and chemo the week of 4th. Tomorrow we go for treatment planning. Your thoughts and prayers are very welcomed and I hope to chat with you all soon! Thank you for the support!!!
  • chellesandell
    chellesandell Member Posts: 12
    #8
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    spongebob said:

    chellesandell -

    First and foremost, I would suggest you get a second and/or thord opinion on that. Just because cancer has spread is not a death sentence. There are a number f folks here who are stage 4 and they are doing quite well. My mom is stage 4 and she is quite well. It is not that uncommon for CRC to spread into visceral organs like female reproductive organs. There are a number of ways to treat it from surgery (hystorectemy), to hot chemo bath, to radiation to traditional chemotherapy, to eastern and homeopathic treatments. Talk to your mom's doctor. Take an active role - along with her - in developing a treatment plan with the doctor. If your doc (surgeon? oncologist?) won't work with you or is not motivated to seek out a cure, fire him or her and move on. Find one that is motivated and will seek a cure.

    Keeping you and your mom in my prayers

    - SpongeBob

    Thank you for your encouragement. I hit a gold mine by finding this support network! We go tomorrow for mapping out treatment. After 5 weeks of daily radiation and chemo she will have surgery (the surgeon said they will do hystorectemy and anything else as needed) then 6 months of chemo after surgery. Said the night after colostomy surgery that it didn't look good and wouldn't giver her more than 2 years. Now says he doesn't have crystal ball and just doesn't know. So I don''t know if that is better or worse. Seems to be a typical answer though. Thank you for your suggestions!

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