Discouraged

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grandma047
grandma047 Member Posts: 381
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi all, I can't get in to all the details, but Danny and I are having major problems. I am so mad at him right now, that I could just leave him, so you know it's bad. Another thing, he can't get a job ANYWHERE. Not even a janitor job. This state is known for the highest unemplyment rate. If we didn't have the house, we would just move. It needs too much work done to it to sell it. If something doesn't happen soon, we will have to give up the house and car. I'm so upset today and I have to have chemo today, on top of everything else. Any suggestions how to overcome all this? I'm sorry for being so glum, when Kanga has such good news. Congratulations to Kanga and Jen. You deserve it. Anyhow, maybe say a little prayer for us?
Love, Judy(grandma047)

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  • rejoyous
    rejoyous Member Posts: 259
    #2
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    Dear Judy,

    I'm sorry to hear that you're down, but I'm not surprised. I don't mean to belittle the seriousness of your situation with Danny or your finances, but I know that every time I went in for a chemo treatment, I would feel discouraged and ready to pick a fight. I felt vulnerable and uncomfortable and scared and I was ready to drag the world down with me.

    My advice is to get through this round of chemo first, and for now, just put aside your feelings about Danny and your discouragement about money. The problems will still be there when you resurface.

    Also, I hope you're able to talk with somebody--a counselor, your minister, etc. about all this. Your focus should be on healing. Let someone else help you stay unburdened enough for that to be your top priority.
  • rejoyous
    rejoyous Member Posts: 259
    #3
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    Plus, you've got the bone scan and the MRI coming up! Judy, you just need to keep deep breathing. This is a lot of stress. I hope the tests go well. You are in my thoughts.
  • neeliec
    neeliec Member Posts: 106
    #4
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    Dear Judy,
    you have my prayers. I do not know all the details, as you said.... but I know someone Who does and Can do something about them. Going through our health issues compounded by relationships, finances, and the minutiae of life can skew our perspectives.... I will pray that you will regain your joy and that practical solutions to your needs will be available to you.
    blessings,
    neelieC
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #5
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    neeliec said:

    Dear Judy,
    you have my prayers. I do not know all the details, as you said.... but I know someone Who does and Can do something about them. Going through our health issues compounded by relationships, finances, and the minutiae of life can skew our perspectives.... I will pray that you will regain your joy and that practical solutions to your needs will be available to you.
    blessings,
    neelieC

    Hullo dear Judy. My postings here about Jen's job in a lot f ways made me feel selfish because I knew others here have bigger issues including yourself. But the response of support I recieved here was nonetheless very consoling. Our cancer takes up so much of ourlives and when we have other issues that threaten also our lifestyles it all compounds into one huge amount of stress and depression. We could not sleep and could not see the end of our situation.We were so unhappy. We were threatened with the very situation you find yourself in now Judy and my heart goes outto you...we understand completely!
    The additional stress of you having to do treatment must be enormous. There were many times that I could have disagreed or argued with Jen over many things Judy but I tried to concentrate on how hard the whole situation was affecting Jen also. The knife cuts both ways sweetie and it is very hard to control our frustrations thru all of this. I imagine that Danny is pretty stressed out too. Cut yourself and Danny some slack Judy. No amount of agro on either side is going to help your situation. I guess it is all fine for me to say that because our good news has sorted things out here....but I want to share my advice babe. You are unwell Judy....agro won't help that. Danny is not alone, he too has feelings and he too has to cope with all this crappy stuff. Even not knowing your complete situation I have to tell you that beating your heads together will solve nothing. I NEARLY went there and thank god I had the sense to "cool it" and realise that both Jen and I neede to fight our issues together. I know this may not help you Judy and am sad you face this. My extreme love for Jen kept me in check....I am thankfull for that.
    love to you both babe, kanga n Jen
  • jsabol
    jsabol Member Posts: 1,145 Member
    #6
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    Oh, Judy, I'm so sorry that these are such tough times for you. I think of you often, and keep you in my prayers, stay strong and focused. the other Judy
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #7
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    Judy: you have enough on your plate; the priority is getting well-nothing else matters. There may be some alternatives for your personal/financial situation,but the task at hand is your cancer.Try
    to remain focused..God Bless You. Nanuk
  • grandma047
    grandma047 Member Posts: 381
    #8
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    kangatoo said:

    Hullo dear Judy. My postings here about Jen's job in a lot f ways made me feel selfish because I knew others here have bigger issues including yourself. But the response of support I recieved here was nonetheless very consoling. Our cancer takes up so much of ourlives and when we have other issues that threaten also our lifestyles it all compounds into one huge amount of stress and depression. We could not sleep and could not see the end of our situation.We were so unhappy. We were threatened with the very situation you find yourself in now Judy and my heart goes outto you...we understand completely!
    The additional stress of you having to do treatment must be enormous. There were many times that I could have disagreed or argued with Jen over many things Judy but I tried to concentrate on how hard the whole situation was affecting Jen also. The knife cuts both ways sweetie and it is very hard to control our frustrations thru all of this. I imagine that Danny is pretty stressed out too. Cut yourself and Danny some slack Judy. No amount of agro on either side is going to help your situation. I guess it is all fine for me to say that because our good news has sorted things out here....but I want to share my advice babe. You are unwell Judy....agro won't help that. Danny is not alone, he too has feelings and he too has to cope with all this crappy stuff. Even not knowing your complete situation I have to tell you that beating your heads together will solve nothing. I NEARLY went there and thank god I had the sense to "cool it" and realise that both Jen and I neede to fight our issues together. I know this may not help you Judy and am sad you face this. My extreme love for Jen kept me in check....I am thankfull for that.
    love to you both babe, kanga n Jen

    Thanks Kanga, Things are a little better today. We had a long talk. And...guess what, he was sick today, and when I said , Yeah you're sick because of all the guilt you're feeling about what you did and he admitted that was a big part of it. I bought him a Harley magazine when I went for my bone scan this evening. Told him it was a way of making up and sorry that I had been such a bear. Anyhow, thanks for the advice. I will take it to heart. I love you and Jen. You both have been my rock of strength through all this
    Love and prayers, Judy

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