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Some guidance

andreae
Posts: 238
Joined: Sep 2003

Hi all!

Okay so I desperately need some advice from people that understand. I'm graduating June 1st (YOUPPIII!!!) and I have received my acceptance letters. I have been accepted into law school, a Master's program in counselling psychology and a Master's program in nursing. While I am so happy that all my hard work has paid off, what am I supposed to do? I really didn't think/expect that this next step in my life would create so much turmoil, but I am so sad and lost. I don't know what to do?! Thinking about the future is soo scary, so usually I don't think about it and take it one day at a time... But this is the first time in 2 and a half years that I have to make some life decisions and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Pre-metastatic CRC survivor, I would do law to later pursue a career in biomedical ethics... But being sick and facing, well let's be honest, a crappy prognosis I guess I want to be in a degree that will allow me to help as many people as I can NOW. This is just so hard. It's a lot of pressure. I keep wondering if this may be my last project... All these emotions have been stirred up and a concrete decision has to be made. I don't know what I want while wanting it all while grieving for a future that I may not live to see. Help!

Any suggestions/advice/guidance would be much appreciated because I'm lost and non-survivors don't get it.

Love and hugs,
Andrea

tkd3g
Posts: 768
Joined: Aug 2004

Hi Andrea ( please check your CSN e-mail)

This may sound stupid, but I would follow my heart. Which career path seems to be pulling at you the most? Which will give you the most happiness, satisfaction in life?

When you can answer those questions, the answer will be obvious.

Best of luck to you.

Love,

Barb

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1648
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi Andrea,
I can understand you dilema. When I was dx my prognosis was lousy with 6 lymphs involved and high grade ca ,according to my docs life expectancy was very limited ,one even suggested that i should retire and he would support my application for a pension. Out of respect for my family and friends as well as my hatred of cancer I decided to live life as normal,that is ,return to work 2mos after surgery ,go fishing at every opportunity,get fit and lead a healthy lifestyle. I find cancer survivors the most incredibly strong people ,sure we get emotional,but that is understandable and acceptible,I believe that you you should fulfil your goals ,whatever they were before cancer. The only thing that I hate worse than cancer is regrets and hopes unfulfilled . You do what you were destined to do,make a descision and have no regrets ,we are all on your side .Ron.

nanuk's picture
nanuk
Posts: 1363
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi: You have worked hard to ge where you are in spite of the monster..unless you have to work, why not just take some time off..the solution will present itself.
Nanuk

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Andrea,
Others are already saying it...follow your heart. You will touch the lives of and inspire many people, as you have here at this site, no matter which option you chose. After all you have been through, with no choice but to soldier on, you need to be nice to yourself; no need to panic. Pay attention to whatever emotions are being stirred, and know that all of the choices you mention are good ones. Most of us just went with whatever choice seemed good at the time (mine was nursing), but even those choices evolve over time, sometimes into careers very different from where we started. Study what calls to you the loudest and enjoy.
Congratulations, by the way, on graduating AND on the acceptances to grad school. You are amazing and doing amazing things. Judy

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

hey Sweet Baby Girl!

CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming graduation and acceptance into all your programs!!! Awesome girl!

I am NO help here. I just wanted to celebrate with you that you made it this far and so successfully. As for choosing a path.....I don't even use my degree (art) since really all I wanted to do when I was in school was get married and have babies, live on a farm, (or in the mountains) and garden and sit on my porch swing. So like I said, I'm no help. :-)

I guess if I were to choose I would do the counseling--seems like a good prospect for one who has a lot of understanding for human struggle.

Whatever you decide I hope you'll keep us posted, ok?

peace, emily who put her drawing table away when the playpen went up.

HowardJ
Posts: 484
Joined: Jan 2005

Andrea, Whatever you decide, take the time to revel in your accomplishments. I'm sure you'll make the "right" decision. Congratulations!
Howard

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi Honey,

What an extremely brave message you posted. I too have a "lousy prognosis" and will admit, the thoughts about the future do creep into my mind at times. In the next few months, I too will have to make some tough decisions, retire early or not retire, sell my house or not, etc, etc, etc (or so it seems at times). Then I think about some of those decisions could be based on the fact that the ******* is winning. Then I get pissed and start thinking about what I want. That is hard sometimes but I make myself. Then I "sleep on it" for a few days and all of a sudden my heart speaks to me and I go from there. As so many others have said, listen to your heart. It might take awhile since yours is so huge!!!!!

I am honored to know you and am so proud of your accomplishments. I don't want to quilt trip you but I already bought my purple Barney suit to wear to your next graduation!!!!!!!

Hugs honey and trust your heart!!!!

Lisa P.

livin
Posts: 319
Joined: Jan 2003

Congrad. on your achievements. You go girl. Follow your heart. There is hope. Iam so proud of you. Livin

rejoyous
Posts: 259
Joined: Nov 2004

I'm a heart follower. WHO KNOWS what the future holds??? What if Lance Armstrong had decided to be practical and get off the bike?

rejoyous
Posts: 259
Joined: Nov 2004

oh and I can't believe I posted that last message with out giving you an enormous and heart-felt CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! You are so amazing, your postings fill me with energy and hope. We are all so proud of you. We'll be right with you June 1st, Andrea.

CAMaura
Posts: 719
Joined: Feb 2005

Hi there, Andrea

Well....I guess I would ask you what part of the three majors would you most miss...and what pulls at you the most. I am inthe middle of grad school.....and cannot wait to get back....even with a stage III diag, and thought of a possible hereditary problem.....
Just think about the classes which will engage your passion the most - day dream about it...and let the answers come...they will.

I may not be of that much help......In reality I have gone through three masters programs (and lots of tuition) to find my favrorite...

Take care and tell us what you choose!!!!
Cheers and hugs,
Maura

nanuk's picture
nanuk
Posts: 1363
Joined: Dec 2003

since you are inviting us to participate in your life decisions, Maura's comments bring to mind my own frustrations regarding what path to follow in my younger years..it's simple really; just do what you WANT to do.. it's really that simple. the reality of your cancer may or may not be a consideration, but regardless of the outcome, it's a case of quality VS quantity; what would you do if you knew the date-(but not the year)of your death? This concept compresses your wish list, and
forces you to prioritize. If you survive for another year, extend your plan, and be grateful for what you've accomplished. Nanuk

goldfinch's picture
goldfinch
Posts: 737
Joined: Oct 2003

Hi andrea,
I have nothing new to add here, but wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Wow!!! what a wonderful dilemna (sp!!??!?) to have. AS all have said...follow your heart! I know often easier said, than done, but it's really the only answer. Take some quiet time and listen to your heart. Keep us updated!
Mary

Moesimo's picture
Moesimo
Posts: 1079
Joined: Aug 2003

Congratulations, andrea.

I agree to go with your heart.

Maureen

CindyPR
Posts: 36
Joined: Mar 2004

Hey Lady,

Agree, we have been through it. As a son who is doing the same thing, from Calif. Why be scared of what you are doing? Live is so short. Hey we all have the bug, as said cancer, but is that stopping us? I wonder sometimes why, we should all say thank goodness, and as you said you are in remission, as with me, why have the bad thoughts, as we need to go ahead. I had breast cancer in both breasts here in Puerto Rico, no family etc. But hay three years free, as you. I know it is not the same. Be strong as am here for you. I am here for the support

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