Does the fear ever go away?

It lightens up. I don't think the fear goes away as if it never happened. I have been a survivor since March, 2000 with the first diagnosis of DCIS. Had a left side mascetomy. My second diagnosis came in March, 2003 within 24 hours of the first dx. 2nd diagnosis Stage 3A. Had mascetomy, chemo, radiation, and now arimidex.
My usual aches and pains are from the arthritis or the side effects of medications, too.

I also tend to get anxious about any ache or pain that seem to come along. Until I can define what it is comeing from.

Cancer experiences do change lives from within and outwardly; our path is different now.
I know that I don't always feel as healthy as I had been before the cancers. This is a frustration but tends to get better over time. As the energy, stamina increase.

Venting is very good for the soul.
Then we take another step forward.

We are all strong, SO ARE YOU; and we hold each other up. Especially when times get a bit more worrisome.

Take care and GBY
Roxanne

Hi Linda:

I don't think that strength is a question of degree really. You said that some of us seem so much stronger than yourself. I would beg to differ and ask how you arrived at that conclusion?

There had to have been a lot of stress in your family, with your husbands illness, your own and then your sisters. That's not the kind of thing we can expect to throw off and carry on as if nothing happened. It hurts. Physically and emotionally. No question about it. Yet you are here and still fighting. That's valuable not to mention the strength it reflects!

It's important not to avoid the reality of it all and pretend it never happened. Accepting that it did is very important. If we deny our experience, then all the impact of it will eat us up from the inside out. Stress takes a serious toll on us and we need to work through it and set ourselves a plan for recovery. Be patient with, be kind to and love ourselves, while we're getting there.

Peace is hard won and worth fighting to maintain.
Sometimes that means that we must take time for ourselves. We only have so much energy and if 15 other things are usurping it, we can't focus well and manage our recoveries in the best way. It's something we each must work out for ourselves.

I'd suggest some counseling to help you toward more comfortably finding your feet and when you feel ready, then perhaps you'll feel comfortable without the Prozac. It's a process and it takes its own time.

I can only tell you that the fear, for me, has
dimished greatly. I consider my bc experience just another small part of who I am and what I'm about. I have learned much from it. I have moved forward and am once again at peace in my life. For me there was no magic bullet or quick remedy. It took time, energy, commitment to myself and the determination to carry it all out. There were times when I may have appreared selfish to my family/friends but they respected my path and the things I needed to work on which required great focus and effort. Thus they didn't mind when they got abbreviated versions of "me", here and there. At times, particularly early on, I needed more time to myself. To think, to cry, to organize my thoughts into something resembling a plan for feeling whole again. I made written lists to myself too, of things I wanted to accomplish in that week or that month.

The time goes by and before long, I was seeing and feeling the progress I'd made. The bad days became fewer and farther between. If I can get there, so can you.

Believe in yourself. Don't ignore it all. WORK toward peace and you'll find that it's right there, waiting for you. Just pick a piece from what may seem to be that plate of spaghetti and start to unravel it all, one strand at at time.

For what it's worth, that's my thoughts and I so hope that even one little piece of it may be helpful to you in some way.

Keep us posted and don't stay away so long in the future!

Love, light and laughter,
Ink

I keep busy, pray, and count my blessings.