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MommyC
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2005

Hello all. This is a long explanation so please bear with me. I am here because my Mother-in-law...She was dx'd in January 2003 with limited stage small and non small cell cancer in left lung. She underwent chemo and radiation and in July 2003 had left lung removed. By Feb or March 2004 the small cell was back this time in the rt lung and two spots in liver. My MIL started chemo again but shortly after the cancer began to grow through this type of chemo. The drs changed the type of chemo which began to shrink the mets in the liver and kept the rt lung mets in check. In December 2004 the drs decided that my MIL would be benefit from RFA (radiofrequency ablation) on the larger of the liver tumors, which she did in the last week of December. 3 weeks later the drs performed a chemo embolization on the same liver met, which my MIL ended up haveing a heart attack related to this procedure. During the time in December 2004 to mid March 2005 she did not have any chemotherapy. A scan done in mid February 2005 revealed that the original 2 mets to the liver were gone but the cancer has once again grown. The lung mets were larger and there were 5 to 6 new mets to the liver, this time spread in various places. My MIL again started chemo but renctly had to stop for 3 weeks due to her blood work counts. After a bout last week with pancreatitis and severe pain, we received news that in three weeks time the cancer has now spread extensively through out the liver and now is in the lymph nodes behind the stomach. The drs also suspect that the cancer has metastisized to the bones. After talking with drs, they placed my MIL on the Pain patch and thankfully she is at least pain free at the moment.

My FIL is dealing with severe depression on top of all of this and refuses to accept that my MIL has had enough with the cancer and its treatments. He keeps begging her to continue because he can't live without her... Needless to say she is now trying to deal with the guilt of dying and leaving him behind.

From day one I have supported my MIL's wishes (she never wanted to treatments from the beginning but my husband and in laws convinced her to do them)so at times its been difficult between me and my hubby and in-laws. Fortunately now my husband and sister-in law have come to accept that my MIL is ready for hospice and respect her wishes.

I guess I am wondering if anyone has a similar situation and how are you handling it?? Thank you for taking time to read this and thank you in advance for your response.

layne34
Posts: 17
Joined: May 2004

contact Hospice. They work in this area and know bestter how to help others. Both your MIL and FIL need special attention right now, as well as you and everyone else in the family. The letting go is so hard, but such a vital step in saying goodby. Make sure everyone knows what's happening.
Peace, love, happiness andhealth,
Layne

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