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Feeling horrible...How do i help?

Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2005

My close friend was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. I was the first person he told and have since gone through an operation and first series of chemo. with him. However, about two weeks ago, all of a sudden he has not reached out to me at all and is not accepting any of my phone calls (although he was going through his second series of chemo). This weekend will be the second week I have not spoken to him and feel horrible. I know he is pushing himself away so I have tried really hard not to push myself on him. This past week, according to his mother, he has finished completely losing all of the hair on his body, is very weak, and depressed. I want to go and see him, but don't know if this is the right thing. I really don't know what to do. I am scared, worried, concerned, but want to be there for him. So, what should I do? Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated.

Posts: 6
Joined: Mar 2005

Let your friend know you are there for him when he is ready. You don't really know what cancer is like till you have it and sometimes you just want to be left alone. When I was having chemo I often just curled up in bed for days and could not be bothered with anyone. Losing your hair is alarming. I am sure when he gets himself together again he will ask for you. It is nothing you have done, I am sure he will be thinking of you at all times as you have seen him though his cancer this far.

Posts: 288
Joined: May 2003

Hi EMa,

Many people feel bad about loosing their hair and feeling sick and tired because of chemo. I used to get depressed while in treatment and didn't want to talk to anyone. If he won't accept your calls, you could try sending him a card or a letter letting him know you are there for him when he needs you. Keep the cards coming so he'll know you are thinking of him often.

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