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How Do I Live???

2by2by2's picture
2by2by2
Posts: 6
Joined: Mar 2005

Hello everyone,
My name is Dionne, and I am new to this site. My mother-in-law, who was my best friend, was diagnosed in Oct. 2004 with Non-Small cell lung cancer Stage IV. She immediately began very aggressive chemo treatments, and when those were showing "no improvement," began radiation. We were told (after 2 bouts of pneumonia and numerous trips to the hospital) in January that there was no hope. Hospice was called in and we were able to care for her at home. My husband and I have been together since we were freshmen in high school, dated all through college, and I am now 31. My mother-in-law, was my soulmate, and my best friend. We talked on the phone 5 times a day and did everything together. Her death has left me and my husband wondering how we will ever be able to live without her. We just had our first child, a daughter, in Feb. 2004. My mother-in-law was the most fantastic grandmother and things were just really starting to get fun. Life seems so bleak and I fight the tears now as I type. Just needing some support or words of wisdom so-to-speak. So, so glad I found this site and I hope to be of comfort and support to anyone who needs me.

Much peace to you all,
Dionne

Plymouthean's picture
Plymouthean
Posts: 264
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi Dionne,
I'm sorry to hear about your loss of your mother-in-law. No words can bring complete comfort at a time like this, but you and your husband know that you must go on with your life. Your mother-in-law obviously had a mission in this life. She was a mother, mother-in-law, grandmother and friend. She thought that you were very special. Why else would she spend so much time talking to you and being with you when she could. I think that you have to go on with your lives, as she would want you to. Remember the good times that you shared with her, - the things she taught you, - how thrilled she was when you presented her with her granddaughter, surely you have many wonderful memories. That's what she would want you to focus on. I'm a 71 year old father of one son. I survived cancer, but I all through it I worried about my wife and son, hoping that if I didn't make it, that they would be able to survive quite well in my absence. My son will be getting married in November, and I'm looking forward to grandchildren. Whatever my situation, I want my family to have strength, and go on living a happy life. Your hurt will subside, in time. The memories will always be there in your hearts, and Mom will always be looking down on you with pride that you were able to carry on.

2by2by2's picture
2by2by2
Posts: 6
Joined: Mar 2005

Dear "Plymouthean"

Your kind words and invaluable insight have helped me tremendously this evening - THANK YOU! Indeed, she would want us to move on and she did love us so much. My husband and I took our daughter out this afternoon and enjoyed the beautiful weather, and it actually felt okay for the first time in a long while. I know we will be alright in the long scheme of things, we just have to be patient with ourselves. You sound like a very special person, and your wife and son are lucky to have you. You have certainly lifted my spirits with your lovely reply. Also, congratulations on surviving cancer. May you continue to experience good health and enjoy that family of yours!!

With many thanks to you,
Dionne

tabatha
Posts: 8
Joined: Mar 2005

hi dionne

thank you for your kind words on the passing of my dad. i know what you are going through. we seem to have a lot in common really. i am 32 and also have a daughter. my dad was so special and such a good dad. he worked so hard for us all his life and did so many things with us. most of all what he gave me was my faith. since his passing i have been finding it difficult to understand how there can be anything else out there. when my dad was dying he was talking to his sister that had passed about 10 years ago to cancer also. he was thanking her for coming and saying sorry to her for taking her out! i also read a story on the net that really made me think. www.nbc10.com/news/3253894/detail.html
this is the web address for the article. give it a read and let me know what you think.

tab

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