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Husband just diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer with mets

Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2005

Just wanted to get some support and glad I found this site. My husband is 35 years old and after a colonoscopy for rectal beleeding they found a tumor. They admitted him in the hospital and removed it along with another. They also found 4/10 lymph nodes infected. They did see spots on the liver but they did not boipsy yet.

This has all happened in one week. Tomm we go fot a PET scan and a consul with one oncologist and have 4 others lined up before we choose. We have a 14 months daughter and they have said it does not look good. I am just hoping that he can beat this. HE is in very good health, dont drink or smoke and this is such a shock.

Just wanted to learn as much as I can.

Thanks for listening,

alihamilton's picture
Posts: 348
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi Camilla,

I am so sorry your husband has been diagnosed with colon cancer. You must be in shock right now which is the normal response. It just seems too terrible to be true. However, you have come to the right place and you will hear from several people, I am sure, who have had a similar diagnosis and are still very much alive! It is good to have a choice of oncologists....it is important for both of you to have confidence in the team who will be looking after your husband. Read up as much as you can and become empowered to make decisions you feel will be best for you both. Do keep us posted...we are all here for you.


spongebob's picture
Posts: 2599
Joined: Apr 2003

Camilla -

First, welcome to the Semi-Colons. There are plenty of stage 3 and stage 4 survivors here to give you good advice and counsel. We're all here to give you a safe place to go to vent, ask questions, scream, cry and ... laugh.

Now about your situation; let me just say that I would be wondering about a team that is saying "It doesn't look good" before they've even done a #$%^ biopsy. For crying out loud - talk about your doom squad. Tell them to adjust their attitude or find another client.

Remember this: your doctors work FOR YOU. They are your advisors. It is their job to work with you to either beat or manage this disease - not sit there and tell you how gloomy it looks. Jeez... can you tell that sort of stuff ticks me off? If they aren't going to work wit you, then FIRE THEM and find an advisor who is positive and wants to help.

This dragon CAN and HAS been beat - you are now immersed in a community of people who ARE beating it or who ARE managing to live a fulfilling life despite it.

Learn from them. Follow their path. Be strong, be positive.

Keeping you and your family in mythoughts and prayers.

- SpongeBob

Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2004

Hi, I do like the responses that were given. I had colon cancer removed last July, breast cancer removed last Sept. and now have liver cancer,stage lV. I'm doing chemo everyother week. I went to Roswell for a second opinion then returned to the local reg. cancer center in N.E. Ohio for treatments. I had NO systoms but had a yearly phy. and pap done. The gyn looked at me and said I looked pale, bingo. A ct scan later I was dignosed with 2 cancers and lesions on the liver which turned out to be 28 tumors. I don't like how the colon and breast cancer doctors didn't advise me to go to a liver doctor.I made my own appt. went by myself to Cleveland Clinic and had the floor drop out because he told me I had 2-3 years. Boy,talk about mad,panic and everthing else. I'm 58 yrs. old and a schoolbus driver, sec. for my husband's business between runs and a mom of a handicapped son I told them I didn't have time for this crap. Sometimes when I get on the web for info it gets too much to absorb. I told them I'll see my 10 year old granddaughter marriage. I have to plan ahead and make goals or I start feeling sorry for myself. I do have my bad moments now and then but mostly good. I drive bus am then go for chemo, have a pump on for 48 hrs, have the pump taken off and to drive the pm. I've had 7 treatments with only mild side effects. Attitude, yeah, the doctors need adjustments!Tell me what will help or my choices. And I've not been a very relegious person but it comes back. A cancer diet in supplements and healthy foods, oh yes. Be positive is the bottom line. I'm still learning about things. take care and be strong. Coffeecup

Posts: 757
Joined: Jul 2004

hi camilla,
sorry to hear your news. but welcome to our family of survivors and caregivers. we are a colorful bunch. there are many stage 4 survivors here. please post often and keep us in the loop. we are here 24/7. good luck with your dr appointments.
keep the faith
stay positive
all the best

Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004


So sorry you have joined us... but glad to have you! I was diagnosed at age 32 with stage 3, am now stage 4 after lung met was removed.

First of all... "does not look good" doesn't mean anything!!!! There are so many treatments and your husband is young and healthy. NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have a 35-40% chance of cure according to my onc at MD Anderson. Pick an onc you like and trust and then start the fight.
It won't be easy, but you both can do this. Get support for yourself. My husband had such a hard time dealing with my illness and all my treatments... take care of yourself so you can take care of him and your daughter. Really, it isn't easy, but very possible.

We are always here for you. Come to us with any questions. Take care, jana

Posts: 33
Joined: Jan 2005

I am so sorry for your news ........however, Sponge and the gang here are right. This is something you all have control over now, and you seek those second and third opinions and don't get excited over " doesn't look good'. I can tell you that your husband being in good health is a bonus and that the thing I've learned most from battling this dragon is it's all ATTITUDE! Hit it head on and don't stop until you've slayed this thing. THis group of semi's are the BOMB!!!!! There is more support right here than any group you could attend in person and they are all......(we) are all one family of survivors and here to help and support.
Hang in there and keep your chins up!!
Your family are in my prayers!!!

Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

Hi Camilla,
I am sorry to learn of your husband's diagnosis. Welcome to this group. I was diagnosed with rectal cancer at age 44 (in good health, zero risk factors). I was stage 3 (1 lymph node affected). I had chemoradiation followed by surgery, followed by more chemo. I'm almost 2 years since surgery and "all clear". Right after diagnosis was an emotional "rollercoaster". I think you are smart to seek out several opinions. I ended up changing doctors/team after seeking a second opinion, and was glad I did. I wish you all the best -- don't hesitate to ask any qss on this board and email me directly if I can be of any help.

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hiya Camilla. I am the ozzie(Australian--lol!) invader of our wonderfull family here. Sometimes you might need an interpreter to work out my oz lingo(try Sponger 'cos he talks funny too!)
Oh--I digress--sorry. Hey Camilla!....one whole week and they told you all that "crap!!!"
Geez---it took them 5 weeks of testing me just to discover I am a stage 2!!!!
Listen sweetie....."
does not look good" can be defined in many ways. In fact they were the exact words my GP told me when he said I have cancer. Here I am after surgery in 03, 6 months chemo and now 12 months in remission.
HEY GUYS-----1 year anniversary this week!!!!!Woopeee!!
Sorry Camilla, getting carried away here. Have faith babe....I am sure that with more discussion, tests etc. things will be put in a better light. There are so many VERY INSPIRING stage 3 and 4 guys n gals here that are here to keep the support flowing.
The "fat lady ain't sung yet" sweetie....chin up!
Give everything a chance to come into perspective. Your hubby is fit, young and has the energy to fight!
Shock is a very big issue when first dx'd Camilla. You both, as difficult as it seems, need to try to calm yourselves, get all the information you can and ask a lot of questions....many of which are able to be delt with here.
This "family" is here for you no matter what!
Lotsa luv n huggs, kanga n Jen

Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

Welcome to the site- sorry you have to be here but you are among friends and peole who can really understand what you and your husband are going through. I am 32 diagnsoed last year with stage 3 rectal cancer. Recently finished my six months post op chemo. Also have an eight month old son born the day after I finished my preop radiotherapy.
You are in for a rough ride- no one would deny that. It is a long and hard journey you are starting on but it is one that can be beaten and there are many here to testify to that. Take it all one step at a time and accept that it will take over your life for a period. Then as things settle down start to get parts of your life back and seek out normality again. It is vital to find those things that give you joy and happiness throughout this time. It willkeep you sane and help you through the rough patches.
Your prognosis you descirbe as 'not looking good'. Be cautious of diving into this trap too early. You don't as yet seem to have had the liver nodules confirmed as cancer and could be somehting else. If there is no spread beyond the lymph nodes he is in fact stage 3 which improves prognosis significantly. Even if he is stage four then there are many here who are testiment to the fact it can be beaten.
Keep hope alive and just go withit through this early phase. It is a chaotic and confusing time so feel free to ask questions here or jsut off load stuff you don't want to dump on your husband.
Let us now how things progress.

Moesimo's picture
Posts: 1079
Joined: Aug 2003

I am sorry that you have joined our group. But you will find lots of support here. You husband is about to begin a terrible journey and the fight of his life. Make sure you find docs. that you are comfortable with and able to talk to. Also never give up because miracles happen and you will meet many stage 4 survivors on this site. I had stage 3 rectal cancer with 2 positive nodes. It has been 19 mos. since my original surgery. Good luck with the treatments and give your baby a big hug.


StacyGleaso's picture
Posts: 1248
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi Camilla,
I was stage 4...key word WAS. Mine spread to my liver, as well as two lymph nodes. That was 4 years ago. Stay strong, and tell your hubby that nothing is impossible. Read some of the web pages of the people on this site. You will gain strength through that.

Keep us posted,

Posts: 113
Joined: Mar 2004

Sorry that you and your husband have to be at this site, however you will find TONS of support her. I to was a stage 4 with 8 of 25 lymph nodes and 2 small mets to the liver (diagnosed last February). Wasn't given any hope of 5 year survival and probably wouldn't last 2 years. I am 42 years old with a wonderful supportive family. I am have been through 7 months of chemo and radiofreqauncy ablation and my last PET and CT scan showed no evidence of disease (NED). My doctors are now very encouraged, even throwing around the potential "cure" word. That is something I thought last year I would never hear. Fight this with all you have, it is beatable even at stage 4. Don't listen to the doom and gloomers. Will keep you guys in our prayers. Mike

Posts: 238
Joined: Sep 2003

Dearest Camilla,

I'm sending you and your family lots of love and positive thoughts right now. This is the very hard part. Diagnosis and the immediate aftermath is tough to navigate. Everyday will get easier. I am a stage IV survivor. Originally diagnosed with stage III rectal cancer at 20 and went through chemo/radiation, surgery and more chemo. The cancer spread to my lungs immediately after I finished treatment. My oncologist at the time told me to go home and have a nice Christmas. Well, I got out of there real quick and found my doctor who was willing to fight this beast. I am going to conquer this disease or die trying! I have since had two lung surgeries and three lines of chemo. I am still very much alive. My quality of life is excellent and I do everything my friends do... and more. I have been living with the disease for two years and two months now. IT IS POSSIBLE. Please come to the board with ANY questions. We are all here to help. There is hope... NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. What is important now is finding a team you feel comfortable with and who understand your priorities. You need a team who wants to fight... Not sit and mull over the doom and gloom of the situation.

Lots of love,

scouty's picture
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

Welcome Camilla!!!

I am sorry you have to be here but you have done the right thing by joining this site. I was dx a year ago yesterday with stage IV (2 mets to liver and 1 to lung). The first 2-3 months were the hardest. The shock and fear was pretty intense but reality did hit and I started reading and researching. I chose to stop chemo after 8 months and am now doing a diet/juicing/supplement regime and I feel much better now.

The best book to start with (in my opinion) is: Beating Cancer with Nutriton by Dr. Patrick Quillin. He is the Nutritional Director for the Cancer Treatment Centers of America. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. Pull up those boot straps and get ready to help your husband fight this *******.

Lisa P.

Posts: 719
Joined: Feb 2005

Dear Camilla,
I am so sorry for fears right now - but you have joined wonderful site Please, post often; someone will always respond. I am thrilled to hear that you have appts lined up with other docs. Try to find one whose personality really meshes with yours - you'll be talking to this person a lot. There has been a tremendous surge in care/treatment for colon cancer; truly, your spirits will rise when you start hearing about options from a doc with whon you have respect and a good rapport. Best of luck and know that this is a safe and caring spot. I was a poster-girl for health and athletics - and I had a tumor found in Oct...so you just never know, and I was shocked as well. But, honestly, he does have options for good solid treatment. I think your first oncologist had a seemingly poor bedside-manner. Keep in touch with us!
Take care, Maura

ron50's picture
Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi Camilla,
Sorry to hear your news but hey you have made the first positive steps to winning the battle just by coming here. Doctors must watch too much reallity TV. I was stage 3 with 6 bad nodes and was given the usual two years if you are lucky, three if you are really lucky and if you want to do something in your life do it now ect ect ect. Now I don't know if they are using reverse phsycology and think that it will stimulate the patient to fight but it doesn't, all it does is to worry the daylights out of us. You have heard from a crossection of the worlds greatest heroes,all of whom have been there and done that despite the direst predictions of the medico's. Take heart the the first step in survival is deciding to survive and then doing everything positive to further that end . We are the commanders ,the doctors are merely our ground troops ,find some you can trust and use them wisely. PS I still haven't done everything I want to do so I have decided to go on surviving ,I'm into my eighth year now ,good luck, Ron.

Posts: 7
Joined: Feb 2005

Iam sorry to hear of your husband's illness.

I am a newcomer to this forum, but I agree totally with SpongeBob's response to your questions in re your husband's illness.

I am a 55 year old male who was dx on 11/03/04 with stage IV colorectal cancer and mets cancer of 70% of my liver. I was told by my oncologist that w/o treatment, I would not survive to see Christmas. I was advised to quit my job, file for disability, and get my affairs in order. On 3/02 Wed., I will start chemo series # 7. I have not had a resection of the rectal tumor or a colostomy as of yet. I am still working everyday, battling fatigue, aches and pains, but I am confident that I too can be a survivor.

In summary, Take personal control of your treatment. Ask questions of your doctors and anyone else who will listen, and never give up hope.

May God Bless U,

Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2005

Thanks everyone for your support. Had PEt scan today and doc thinks it should be clear. He wants to start chemo Tuesday. We still other avenues to explore. Basic protocal 6 months. 5FU (whatever) (Leouveron (oxyl something ) and Avastin....still learning the lingo.....

Funny thing the doc that said it didnt look good was from Sloan!!!!!

I will keep posting, I need advice.

Thanks again

taunya's picture
Posts: 392
Joined: Jul 2002

I am sorry that your family has been touched by this disease. That said, you are sure to find tons of support here. I advise you to NEVER give up and to never forget that statistics are numbers, not people. Try not to let that hooha get to you. Lots of the semi's are stage 3 and 4 survivors. Keep the faith, learn all you can about the disease and the options and you will be able to make good decisions about treatments. I know it is a terrible blow, but you and your family can get through this.
Best Wishes and Kind Thoughts,

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2004

My husband stge 4 rare cancer post 3 surgeries, 3/23 glands, all can. removed, just finished 1st chemo, he got so sick, worst flu x's 10 he said. just turned 42 2-20, 148 lbs. lost 10 of it after chemo. not convinced he can do another. ex. logger, can take alot of pain, I'm caught up too, everyone says to do the chemo., you live longer. He's come so far, I know God is with him, he had some near misses. Still quite strong.
Drives himself to all appts. Daily complications, fatigue, not always, no appetite at times, explosive diarrhea, otherwise, he is okay. On Day 5 massive cramps, possible flu bug as I am also feeling a flu bug the day after his attacks. Everyone we met at the onco. said oh yes, do it, they all now look forward to their treatments, some were told they had only a year and four years later, and so on. Everyone is full of such compassion and love. We have to go on, the stakes are too high not to. If I can just convince him. They're all news great drugs every day being brought to market. Never give up hope. God bless...keep in touch my email lmjohnson@gci.net

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