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Hello Everyone!!!

Posts: 296
Joined: Mar 2004

Hello!! I am hanging in there. I have been reading some of the post sorry that I haven't been able to reply to everyone. I feel like I am still going through the motions. I have been having some rough days and didn't have anyone to talk to so I thought that I would post to try and help me deal with things. My house is still toren apart I have been trying to get things back in order but I jst don't feel like doing anything. I still cry a lot and can't seem to stop. I don't know if I am losing it or not. I haven't seem any of the kids since Bob passed away. I quess what I feared would happen has come true. Bob's brother Erv was up a couple of weeks ago for the first time since Bob passed away. I guess I am just lonely. I don't know. I received an email from my step daughter yesterday and all she wanted was a copy of her Dad's will. She said that she wanted to make sure that I was doing what was written in the will and that she couldn't accept the fack that her Dad didn't specify what everyone was to get. I felt like I was just hit in the face with a baseball bate. I was so afraid of this happening and it has come true. Out of everyone involved in this she is the only one that seems to not trust what I am doing. She was also upset that I put all the QQ cars in my name and not on in her name. I tried to tell her that I had to flip everything over so that they were legal to drive. I told her that the Jeep is still hers as her father wanted and that I will give her the title and paperwork when she comes to pick the vehicle up in the spring.

I am also fight Bob's life insurance policy as they are trying to tell me that they are not going to pay out on it because they feel as though he or we knew that he was sick a long time ago and didn't tell them. I thought that I was going to scream when I read there letter. With everything going on am all the fighting that Bob went through to stay alive they want to tell me that he knew and never did anything about it for 20 years.

I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. I don't seem to care about anything anymore and I just try to get through on day and one minute at a time. I am going to try out a support group this week hoping to help me care again. I know that Bob wanted me to go on but I don't know how. I just feel like calling it quites and running away.

The only GREAT news that I have gotten which took a big load off my mind was that my big brother was tested as Bob asked him to bafore he died came back fine!!! They only found some colitics and told him to eat more fiber. He was really nervous as he already has had major surgery to beat prostate cancer. I was so glad that he didn't have to worry about this monster also!!!

Well, I guess I will stop complaining about my troubles.

Everyone keep fighting!!! My prayers are with all of you!!!!



scouty's picture
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi Sue!!!

Good to hear from you. Isn't that little wench the same one that gave you a hard time at Thanksgiving? Since she is the only one being shitty, ignore her. Remember, miserable people like to make others feel miserable with them. Stay with the postive folks and ignore the nasty ones. Money can bring out the worst in some people. IGNORE HER!!!!

As far as fighting the insurance company, facts are facts. The drs appt. and his documented history should support you there. They are taking advantage of you. If you need to, hire a lawyer (not one that advertising on TV). Some of them are not the ambulance chasers. I don't think you need a lawyer until they really play hard ball. They are probably just trying to scare you off and see if it will work. Facts are facts. Let them speak for you. Try not to get emotional, they prey on that. Don't talk to them until you feel strong.

You have been through a great deal in the last year and are feeling the effects of it just like anyone else would. Keep fighting for you, but mostly keep fighting for Bob. You know he is there with you.

Please stay in touch.

Lisa P.

grandma047's picture
Posts: 381
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Sue, I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough time, but I am sure it is normal to feel like you're losing it. You have lost part of you. But...he will always be with you, in your heart. I also, want to thank you for your message. I do not have a will. I don't believe my family would fight over anything that I have, but you just never know, do you?? I plan on making a will as soon as I can. I'm continuing to fight this monster right now with all I have. The chemo is making me sick, but they prescribed Zofran, which has really helped. Come here anytime and just vent or talk, or whatever. We are here for you.
I will add you to my daily prayers.
Love and prayers, Judy(grandma047)

spongebob's picture
Posts: 2599
Joined: Apr 2003

Sue -

I agree completely with Lisa P - screw the nasty little bee-yatch, don't give her a copy of the will. Get yourself a lawyer and go after the insurance company - and you might even be able to seek some punitive damages for the emotional distress they've caused you. Most attorneys would take that on a contingency and you would not have to pay up front - but try to just hire one for $50-$100 to write a letter for you to the insurance company and threaten legal action. If you have to actually go forward, a contingency is usually about 30% of the settlement; in other words if Bob's life insurance paid $100,000, the attorney would get $30,000 of it. Hence my suggestion to try the $100 letter first - oh, and that's tax-deductible)

Hang tough. It's gonna be hard, but we're always here for you and there are plenty of people out there who love you and value you!


- SpongeBob

Posts: 238
Joined: Sep 2003

Dearest Sue,

If you want me to come down there to kick some *** just let me know, kay?... Seriously, though, I hate that these people are giving you a rough time now??? In-freakin-credible, the nastiness of some people... I'm with the other semi-colons. Ignore the daughter and have someone respond to the insurance company. Many of us have struggled with those horrible people and I know this is at the worst possible time, but justice needs to be served.

As for you "losing it", I assure you, you're not. Your heart is broken Sue and your body is tired. The journey you traveled with Bob was hard and the path you follow now is even more difficult. You will heal with time, but it will take time. I wish there is more that I could say or do... Just know that I think of you often and I hope that your pain will soon begin to ease. I hope that you will find some peace with the support group.

Many hugs and kisses,

jsabol's picture
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Sue,
It is good to hear from you. I'm sorry you feel so bad, but you are right to just focus on getting through each day. After all you've been through, you need to give yourself time to feel better physically and emotionally. Even "going through the motions" helps; I know one day it does begin to feel just a little easier.
I hope the support group helps; you need to surround yourself with people who understand and shut off those selfish vipers who only think of themselves. Hang in there and keep us posted. Judy

Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

Sue, I am so very sorry you have to deal with the wicked step daughter. I agree.. don't deal with her. Ignore her and try to surround yourself with good and loving people. A support group is such a good idea. I hope you connect with some people there in a way that starts to bring you some peace.

Bob's spirit will never leave you, let it comfort you. You are such a wonderful caretaker. Try to allow yourself some healing time. Call friends and family that make you feel good and ask them to keep you company. Keep in touch. You are doing great, and we all care for you.

The insurance company is just trying to scare you. Stay tough on that one - and get a lawyer if need be.

Never feel the need to "stop complaining" - say all you need, and then some!!!

Take care Sue, jana

Kanort's picture
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Dear Sue,

I'm so sorry for your added struggles. After my husband passed away, my relationship with his side of the family became distant. Allow yourself time to heal. Your things will get back in order in due time.

I'm thankful your brother's test came out well. Best of luck at your support group and please continue to post here.

We are thinking of you.



goldfinch's picture
Posts: 737
Joined: Oct 2003

I am sooo sorry that you are going through all these hassles. Just what you don't need. Just want to add my voice to those who have suggested getting a lawyer to write the insurance company a letter for you and to ignore your d-i-l. She is just not worth it. I also support your decision to go to find a support group. It sounds like what you need more than anything else is friends. Someone you can talk to, the gang here is great, but hands on-so the possiblilty of a hug is nice to. Try the support group. Further down the line you might want to consider volunteering. It gets you out and away from your own problems which makes then easier to deal with when you return.

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Sue....it is not unusual for family to cause so much heartache. My family broke up when mum died and a lot of it was to do with her will. So, so insenstive. I think many of us have been there sweetie. The support group is a great idea but also you may have a friend who is "close" enough and understanding enough for you to use their shoulder..no matter what. You are NEVER complaining here Sue. No-one expects you to bottle it up...we are here to support each other. Maybe what we say are only "words" but they are worth their wieght in gold.
Always thinking of you Sue,
lotsov luv n huggs, Ross n Jen

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