scared need informtion

I just turnd 24 and found out I have vulvacancer. My doctors said they are going to have to cut everything off down there and take skin from my stomach to put back!! I am scared of this surgery and dont know what to expect. It sounds horrible Im very scared. Will I look like a freak? How will I have boyfriend?


  • Misae
    Misae Member Posts: 18
    Kalise, I'm sorry that you have vulvarcancer. I have it too. Do you want to get a second opinion if the surgery really needs to be so radical? Do you have a date already set for this surgery? Did they say they will keep your clit, or atleast part of it with its stump? I think there is a big difference afterwards if you can keep it. And do you mean with everything, only the outer skin? I hope it hasn't spread into your vagina that you need reconstruction there too.

    I've seen pictures of skin grafted vulvar area, and after the wounds have healed, I didn't think it looked too bad. It's different from how God meant it to look like and also I've learned from others that many men don't even care much about how it looks like down there. And you certainly don't want or need a boyfriend who finds it more important how you look down there, than how you are as a person. You have other qualities which are more important than just the looks between your legs.

    I had a partial vaginectomy, partial vulvectomy, lympfonodectomy, and radiation therapy about a year ago. I didn't get a skin graft.

    Will you be getting some kind of medication to support you emotionally. I always wished that the doctors would consider giving antidepressants early after the first diagnosis. Most of us need them more sooner than later.

    Chins up, you're not alone.
  • AuthorUnknown
    AuthorUnknown Member Posts: 1,537 Member
    Kalise, I know that at 24 how you look will be very important to you. But, honey, I have to say "first things first". If you have no life, it doesn't matter what your body looks like. First, you have to try to relax and do what the doctors tell you to do so that you can live. I don't mean to scare you, but it is the truth. Keep your body healthy and fight this.

    I had breast cancer and I was single. I swore that my breast would never look the same again and that no one would ever date me. I started dating, while still going through all the mutilating surgeries and treatments. He didn't care what my breasts looked like. He was more interested in me. Spiritual relationships that grow into physical relationships are much more passionate. Trust me!

    Take a deep breath. Try to eat well and sleep well and get some fresh air to clear out your mind every day. Then you put one foot in front of the other and do what you have to do to fight the beast.
  • Nancytahoe
    Nancytahoe Member Posts: 31
    Read my posting, from Nancytahoe. I survived vulvar cancer with only the removal of the tumor and 2 lymph nodes. I refused radiation, and took "Protocel 50" as an alternative cancer treatment. It worked. almost 6 months later, my pap came back "clean." I have no cancer.I too had surgery, which was a "piece of cake." My incision isn't even noticeable, after the crotch hair grew back. My tumor was the size of a large marble when I caught it thru an annual pap exam. I consider myself very lucky. Vulvar cancer is not rare, but it isn't very common either. I have taken no chemo or radiation, only Protocel 50 since my surgery.

    I wish you the very best. Being told you have cancer of any type, makes you differrent. I know how scarred you are having been there myself 6 months ago.
  • gluestar
    gluestar Member Posts: 6
    I for one, would definatly get a second opinion, make sure you have covered all your options before you go through this. and if they do have to remove all of down there, surgeons now and days make ugly ducklins look like supermodels.. besides, if your new boyfriend does not like it, he should hit the road. Nobody like that is worth nobody's time of day..

    Good luck lady.. wish you the best..

    (((hugs))) & ***kisses***
  • kimbaley96
    kimbaley96 Member Posts: 1
    I was diagnosed with
    I was diagnosed with vulvacancer and will have surgical soon. Perhaps they have to take everything. I need to talk to somebody.

    How were your surgicals and how is life after that?

    [email protected]
  • yeahright
    yeahright Member Posts: 54
    Hi Kalise,
    I was too dx

    Hi Kalise,

    I was too dx with vulva cancer in April of this year. I am 29 years and is recently divorced snd I thought about what happens when I get into a new relationship. I agree with the other ladies. When I start a new relationship and it gets that far I will tell him what has happen. If he cant support me and realize that I had to loose that part of my body to safe my life and if he cant understand that well that is his problem not mine. If he cant deal with that little problem how would I expect him to be there for other big issues. I mean what if it comes back do I want that type of person in my life. I was afraid of my scars for awhile but I now look at it as a badge of honor. I most fight this cancer and not let it determine my life.

    Each day I take something back that it took from me and my selfseteem is something I refuse to let cancer have. That part of me is important to me but I will not let it determine what my self worth is. I am a person with cancer not cancer with a person. I belive that I recovered so well is b/c I went in fighting you have to fight from day one and not let cancer tell you who you are. So yes you may look different down there but you are still alive. Live your life to the fullest. If he dont like it best belive honey he has something on his body that not tooo hot either.

    Stay healthy and take good care of yourself. A friend of mone is going through chemo for breast cancer and believe it or not she is gaining weight. She is my insperation. The day she came back from chemo one day she was in her garden planting flowers two day later she drove for 4 hours. I ask her how she said she eats rights take care of herself and takes her vitamins that is her ammo to fight this cancer one multivitamin at a time. Take care of youself and please come back to the thread this is a great place to share you fears cry out of just plane vent LOL