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Posts: 185
Joined: Feb 2004

This group has been through a tough stretch the past couple of months. I am a 6 year survivor of stage 3 rectal cancer, diagnosed when I was 36. I am disease free and considered cured, but make sure to tune in here and let people know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. But today, I myself feel down. As a criminal proseuctor stress is a daily factor, and it is a guarantee that someone will not be happy with our work. I work hard and am a good attorney, but there are times when my work seems irrelevant compared to what we have gone through, and are going through. Our return to life is no walk in the park, and our physical and emotional wounds remain tender. I give so much credit to us, the fighters, who continue on in life while dealing with such a draining experience. We could probably all use some sun and sand somewhere, with no worries other than what time dinner is served and when the tide comes in so we can move out beach chairs. Anyway, thanks for letting me share a little...you guys are the only ones who know the shoes I walk in.

StacyGleaso's picture
Posts: 1249
Joined: Mar 2003

Well put!


Posts: 31
Joined: Mar 2002

Runner, I to am a suvivor (5yrs this comming June) This disease leaves one permanetley scarred. Even as time passes, you work, you try to get on with your life, count your blessings, but it is always there, the never ending fear ready to surface and comsume you if you let it.We all deserve to be down at times and should't feel guility about it. This site is a good place to vent and gain strength and courage from the great people on here. Just know that we all know how you feel.. Take care, Maggi

alihamilton's picture
Posts: 348
Joined: Jan 2004

My husband has been doing well since his treatment for Rectal Cancer Stage 111 with 11 out of 18 nodes involved, dx July 2003. He has been working half day, which often turns into a full day, and has put back on nearly all the weight he lost during surgery and post surgery with all the complications he had.

The one things that really bothers him is the increase in bowel movements, often at a moments notice, that affects his life now. It is OK when he is home and can get to a bathroom quickly but he worries that it will happen when he is at work. We also cannot go out to dinner at friends or anywhere for that matter. Much of the time he has some measure of control and has actually had very few accidents but there are some days when he makes many trips to the bathroom and we cannot seem to identify any particular food that causes this.

Any ideas please? Our oncologist does not seem too concerned and said that even a year post treatment, things could improve.

jsabol's picture
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Well, You just did say something inspirational! You are right about those wounds being tender. I just went to the funeral of an 85 year old uncle--in-law, and found myself feeling pretty emotional. Lost my dad to colon cancer 4 yrs ago December, at age 85. Had always envisioned myself living to a ripe old age, too. Sure hope that will be true, but in the meantime, I am trying to stay focused on the things that matter and be grateful for what I have.
Thank God we have people like you as criminal prosecutors, but I can imagine that the stress and exposure to the more base parts of our human nature do take its toll. I work as a nurse in dementia care/assisted living; it is amazing at times how joyous life can be when you strip away all the trappings and just enjoy a snowfall, or a song, or a good joke.
Must be the weather, and time of year. Today is my day off, and despite many plans in my head, I'm still in my bathrobe, having another cup of tea! Hubby and I are planning a quick getaway to the Laurentians, north of Montreal. No warm beaches, but GREAT food, good cross country skiing and lots of R and R.
Hang in there, Judy

spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

Runner -

Hmmm - sounds like you and I could team up for our own version of Law & Order!

As far as sun & sand goes - well, what can I say? Trust me, even that can get old (but it takes a llllloooooonnnnngggg time)

And by the way, if anyone out there was ever inthe Navy, they know that the XO of a ship's main job is ensuring the plan of the day is followed so the crew eats on time, and as Navigator, I am particularly concerned with the state of the tise as well!

Why don't you come on out here for a few days, the weather is still a little fresh (that's nautical for "breezy and kinda lumpy), but the gale force winds/seas have passed.

Plenty of sun (although the only sand is what's in my shoes) to go around.

- SB

littlejulie's picture
Posts: 311
Joined: Mar 2004

you always have something inspiring to say and im always so greatful when you post. thanks for sticking around :)

ron50's picture
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi Runner,
Congrats on the 6 yrs, this month marks the end of my 7th year of survival after st 3 colon, I fully understand your feelings,I'm an industrial sewing machine mechanic and there are not many around so I often find myself contemplating a fate that sees me surviving ca then working seven days a week. If not for my boat and the rare but enjoyable days I spend fishing miles and miles out to sea I,m sure my attitude would be why do I bother going on. Viewed from outside ca that attitude is neither understood or appreciated. It IS on this site,it is a major achievement to just cope with life and all its stresses. To cope with that plus the incredible stresses put on us by ca puts us in a special class ,we are special people,we may not always be special HAPPY people,but we are special none the less and we have our own special support system here ,for which I am grateful. Good luck for the coming year ,keep up the good work you are doing and please find yourself some time in the sun ,best wishes Ron,

taunya's picture
Posts: 392
Joined: Jul 2002

Runner, You are always inspirational. Just breathing makes you a treat. Thanks for bringing out the survivors, hearing their stories gives me hope. What Maggi says really hits home for me. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop (deep down). I feel lucky to be alive and angry that i am so aware of my fragile mortality. I do know it is an honor to be one of you. Have a better day tomorrow, Runner. The new issue of Parabola magazine is all about Friendship.......

Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

I want you to know that I am so grateful to you and other long-term survivors for your continuing support on this board. It means a LOT to me when I see a post from you. You are my hero! -- and give me hope.
I am sorry you are going through a difficult time in terms of work (and life?) issues. Any chance you could take a little R&R? Or whatever it is that recharges your batteries. Thinking of you and sending best wishes your way.
Tara -- 2 year survivor of Stage III rectal cancer -- and counting!!

Posts: 319
Joined: Jan 2003

Thank You, I understand how you feel, Iam having one of those days now don't feel like talking much Working on my 3rd round of survivoring Cancer right now.