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spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

OK... I was saving this for New Year's Eve, but I think we could all use a little humor break now. A friend of mine sent me this the other day and I can think of no group I would rather share it with than you - ENJOY!

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet ? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey ! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up

- SpongeBob

kerry's picture
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003


Thanks for the humor break. Now I'm laughing rather than crying. You are the best.

I loved your poem "I am not here". Well, of course, I sat here and bawled like a baby after reading it, but a good cry sometimes releases all those hormones and helps us get our day back on track.

The best New Year to you too. By the way, New Year's Eve is my birthday - won't disclose the age (that's a woman's perogative). When I blow out my candles I am wishing for the best 2005 ever for everyone here at this site. Love you guys.

Thanks again for the humor break. It was greatly needed.



2bhealed's picture
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001


I especially liked the last one!!

Thanks for the laugh SB.

peace, emily who appreciates a good laugh

Posts: 758
Joined: Jul 2004

hey sponge,
only you can get everyone smiling. thanks for bring cheer to all of us.
all the best

grandma047's picture
Posts: 381
Joined: Feb 2004

Hey Sponge, That was so funny. I think we all needed a laugh. You're always able to do that. Love ya guy.
Love and prayers, Judy(grandma047)

aspaysia's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: Nov 2003

My dentist claims when he got a c-scope the doc said, "I can see your tonsils."
This was right before I was due for mine and I was not amused.

Posts: 186
Joined: Nov 2004

Good stuff. Here's a true story along those same lines: Last month when Jerri went to have her colonoscopy she was laying on the exam table while two nurses were talking. One of the nurses told the other, "I was so mad last night, on the way home someone rear-ended me." Jerri couldn't resist that perfect set-up line, and told both the nurses, "Hey! I'm about to get rear-ended, too!!" She cracks me up.


kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Sponger--your wit betrays your wisdom buddy--lol!!!!
Oh--and so as not to sound prejudiced I have to say we know a coupla guys who are gay and they are good friends who happen to have a great sense of humour. We were talking about my cancer one day and I let loose this one.
When I go for a digital examination I am quite comfortable with my doc--but I told him "if he ever puts both hands on my butts I am gunna really start worrying!!!!!!!"

spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

Jimmy & Jerri -

Perfect set-up is right!

My last scope I woke just as she finished and I recall saying "Is this the part where we smoke a cigarette and you promise to call me?"

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