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Update on Bob and I !!!

Posts: 296
Joined: Mar 2004


I can't tell you what it meant to me to read all of your thoughtful posts!!!!

I am SO Sorry that I haven't replied sooner but I was busy getting things set up with Hospice and Social workers. I know that I was in a very bad place when I posted last. I just didn't know where else to go to let everything out. I want to thank everyone for being there for Bob and I and listening to me go on and on!!!!

Hospice came last Thursday and Social worker on Friday. You guys were right Hospice has been very helpful. After they spoke with Bob for a long time he admitted to them that he needed more pain meds. I was so thankful for that as I know he was uncomfortable. He is doing ok. We have had some very long talks about the future. He admitted that he was putting them off as he didn't think that I could handle them. I told him I can't take care of the things that he wants done if he doesn't ask me to. I told him as I have told him many times through all our years I am good at reading his mind but I am not perfect at it yet!! Hospice has stopped in a couple of time during the week to check in in Bob even though he said that he isn't ready for them. They are doing a very good job at notpushing him into anything which I am so happy for. I told them that if they push he will put the brakes on and we don't want that. I want him to be as comfortable as possible. His friends have been stopping by and making him laugh which is a great help to me to hear him laugh!!!! He is getting more confused as the days go by. It bothers him not being able to remember things so I just tell him I will post notes all over like wall paper if I have to. He said don't do that as I stink at wallpapering. Past History when we were doing the upstair over after the kids moved out. WE joke when we can about when his baby is due. It bothers him but he is finally accepting help from me getting dressed as he can't reach his feet or bend over to get his pants on. I just tell him this is pay back from when he had to put my panthoses on when I destroyed my back years ago.

I am feeling better knowing that he is willing to accept some of the changes that are going on even though they are little ones. I can't imagin how hard this is for him!!!! I have a Dr. appt. tonight at 8:00pm to try and finally convince my Dr. that I need something to shake this cold that I picked up from one on the kids on the bus a week before Thanksgiving. Hopefully things will go well and I can get a chance to talk to him also about Bob. This cold isn't helping my energy level at all.

I am in the process of planning a Christmas Party at this club close to the house where Bob's favorite band is playing on the 17th. I am hoping to make it a special Christmas gathering with Bob's close friends!!! I am hoping to make it a surprise but time will tell if that works out. I have already talked to the manager and Bob will be getting the red carpet treatment!!!! I would love to get him into a limo for the first time but I think that that would be pushing it a little.

I am sorry that I have gone on. I am also sorry that I haven't answered anyones posts but there just hasn't been any time these past few weeks. My prayers go out to everyone!!!!

Thank You all again from the bottom of my heart for everything you guys had done and continue to do for us!!!!

Thank You ----Love to ALL!!!!!!

Sue and Bob

spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

Sue -

You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. You have your plate full and we know it. What a wonderful wife, friend, and caregiver you are for Bob and I know he knows and appreciates it.

You guys have an absolutely wonderful holida saeason and know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Take care of yourselves and each other (as Jerry Springer would say)

- SpongeBob

alihamilton's picture
Posts: 348
Joined: Jan 2004

Sue, you are AMAZING! it was so good to hear from you and how well you are coping. I am sure the bad cold you have is as a result of all the stress you are under and it is important that you look after yourself. I am glad you and Bob are able to keep a sense of humour...so important! You are great and an inspiration to all of us. Keep up the good work! Your plans for the best Christmas ever sound wonderful and I know that Bob appreciates all you are doing.

Love, Alison

2bhealed's picture
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001


Oh honey we know how busy you are. I am just so glad you gave us the update. You sound very upbeat and strong. When you are feeling down and out you run back in here again for some lovin'. :-) and a rainbow from kanga and jen! heehee.

Will be praying all goes well for your party on the 17th.

For the cold:

zinc and echinecea (I think if i remember correctly) .

Dang, one of these days I have to get my books organized......oh well maybe aftger the holidays.

You are one fabulous caregiver!!!

peace, emily who will pray the ex and stepdaughter keep their mouths shut this time unless it is to say something kind.

Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

Fabulous to hear that things sound like they are a bit more under control adn working well. The feeling of thngs slipping away out of control is terrifying but it sounds like supports are available as you need them and plans are set to support the two of you through waht is going to a difficult time to come.
I am so pleased to hear of your plans for Xmas- sonds fabulous. We will be drinking a toast to you both here in the UK.
Best of luck

Posts: 238
Joined: Sep 2003

Dear Sue and Bob,

You guys have tears of happiness running down my cheeks (which is really embarassing as I am in the library with about a thousand other students who are madly studying for exams... I had better not piss them off... students get a little crazy round this time... hehe)! I am so relieved and overjoyed that you both have the help you need. Simply put, you guys are my heroes. Give Bob a big old hug for me and I'm sending one out to you too. Be sure to take care of yourself, and enjoy the holiday season.

Lots of love,

Anonymous user (not verified)

Sue, no apologies necessary. I don't post every day either and yet I know, just like, that my friends here understand when I am AWOL that it doesn't mean I won't be back. Your plate is full and I am glad that you are planning this party on the 17th...keeps your mind busy and will be a wonderful surprise for Bob. You are one heck of a lady and I admire you greatly.

I wish you both Blessed Holidays and good days ahead.


kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Phew Emily--just got back from awol in time to read your post!!!
(((((((((((((((Sue and Bob)))))))))))))
I must have ESP--I am going to go one better!
Sue. I am sending TWO rainbows, one for each of you.
Can you have some-one read this to you?
Hold hands Sue and Bob and close your eyes.

Read carefully!----"your Rainbows"
"follow the colours,
they will lead the way,
to show something beautifull at the start of each day.
Close your eyes and together pray, that your love for each other,
is in your hands this day!"

Thinking of you both, Ross and Jen

taunya's picture
Posts: 392
Joined: Jul 2002

I want you to know how wonderful you are. Both of you. I am sending the softest gentlest hug your way. You are doing a great job. What an amaziing marriage you have.

Kanort's picture
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Dear Sue,

Your strength is amazing. The party sounds awesome. I hope you can keep it a surprise!
We are thinking and praying for you both.



Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

You are the greatest!!!!!!!!!!! Whenever you need to let sadness or negative feelings out - we are here. I can't believe how positive you are.

Simply put: Bob is very fortunate to have you, and you are fortunate to have him.... a husband that you love enough to be so wonderful.

Wish you all the best over the holidays. Stay strong and happy. Enjoy every moment.
I will be thinking of you. jana

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