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from bad to worse for me

nettie4
Posts: 145
Joined: Mar 2004

hello all. hope all of you are doing well. i went to the onc yesterday and he sd that he is very concerned about my ct results. all the lesions have seemed to get larger although they are very small in the mm. there are many of them. he is not sure if surg is even an option for me. sd that is most of the spots r cancer then it would not be a profitable thing for me. he ordered a pet/ct. well from what all he sd he has changed me to erbutux/cpt11 which i dont know lwhen i will start. i dont think he thinks i am going to make it. he asked if i do special things with my kids and i said why are u saying i should do all i can and he just looked at me and i know what that means. i am sooooo saddened right now i cant even tell you. if it were not for the Lord in my life i think i would be in the nut house or somthing. please keep me and my family in your prayers. i dont know where this journey may take us but i know who will carry us. take care all and thank you in advance for all your wonderful encouraging words and prayer. take care all you semi colons as one may be sigining off for the final time. i will keep you updated

nettie

deneenb
Posts: 130
Joined: Jun 2004

Nettie,

There is always hope. I have read many stories on this board and elsewhere about people who thought they had nothing left to try and who were given doom and gloom by their doctors, but who for some reason, overcame the obstacles. A positive spirit, the will to live and a good support system can work miracles. You hang in there and keep fighting. I will have you in my prayers. Turn to the people on this message board for support and strength as often as you need. I have seen such positive information and support come from so many people here.

My prayers are with you,
Deneen

Btrcup's picture
Btrcup
Posts: 287
Joined: Jun 2004

Nettie, so sorry to hear your news. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. My hubby is the one with the cancer (Stage IV colon). You have to keep up your spirits. There is power in prayer. Just know that we are all praying for you and your family.

Linda (Baltimore)

grandma047's picture
grandma047
Posts: 381
Joined: Feb 2004

Nettie, I am so sorry to hear your news. You must keep the hope though. I was given up for dead in the hospital. I was on a ventilator and they were pumping blood in me constantly. I had 30 pts in all. No one thought I would pull through, but HERE I AM!!!!!!!. The power of prayer is awesome. I will add you to mine. Don't give up. Keep us posted.
Love and prayers, Judy(grandma047)

Anonymous user (not verified)

Dearest Nettie, please you must not give up hope. Not ever. There is a former patient at USC where my husband gets his treatments who was diagnosed with extremely advanced bladder cancer 18 years ago and they estimated he had about three months to live...it was everywhere. THAT WAS 18 YEARS AGO. No, no miracle drug...just a strong, strong desire to live life. I've talked with him several times. His wife now is stage IV colon cancer and breast cancer and he's right there for her, cheering her on and you know what, she's hanging in there...has been for well over three years.

If that don't get you, how about this one. A very dear and personal friend of mine, long before I knew her, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. They didn't even expect her to survive the operation and when she did, it was just basically to open her up, remove all that they could, and close her....treatments were lousy in those days (early 1970's) and again, she wasn't expected to survive very long. She's here today doing just fine. Never even had a recurrence, nothing!!!!!

So ask yourself Nettie, why not me too!!!!! Hang tough girl. No one knows what's around the next corner. You have strong faith right, so remember, the Lord helps those that help themselves. Giving up is not helping yourself. By all means, you have every right to be depressed and down in the dumps but please, don't stay there. Life is up here, not in the dumps.

A megga big hug for you that I wish I could deliver in person,
Monika

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Oh Nettie--know that we are here and we do care!!!!Know that your friends in OZ think about you and are sending all our love / prayers and huggs. Not a day goes by that kanga is not thinking of all yu guys.!!!!
Have faith Nettie--don't throw in the towel!!!
luv n huggs, kanga n Jen

belinda25
Posts: 44
Joined: Jul 2004

Hey Nettie,

Please DONT give up. I cant imagine how you are feeling right now but I do know how i felt when the docs told me that my dad didnt have a very long time left and there is nothing to describe the fear, pain and heart ache that you feel.

The best thing I have done is to keep my focus forward and be positive. Also talking about how you feel is great which is where our little group is wonderful! I admit it gets hard but your mind can do amazing things for your body.

I will pray for you nettie and remember that hope is never lost.

Belinda xo

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

nettie!

Please please please read A CANCER BATTLE PLAN by Anne Frahm.

Please please please.

peace, emily

tkd3g
Posts: 768
Joined: Aug 2004

Nettie, I am so sorry for your troubles. I can't imagine the emotions that you are going thru right now.
Please try to hang in there. Be strong, think positive and seek out another doctor. Get another opinion on the surgery.

I have read the book that Emily ( 2behealed) referenced above and it is excellent. This is a viable alternative that is worth a look. I incorporated much of it into my life already.

Hang tough. You can beat this!!

Love,

Barb

jana11
Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

Nettie, again; my heart sank when I read your title. Please hang in there. I know how strong you are, and how much you love your family.

Live each moment to the fullest and DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another book I loved is Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen. Very uplifting stories.

Email me anytime..... we are always here for you. You remain in my thoughts.
love, jana

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1248
Joined: Mar 2003

nettie,

Those who have typed before me said everything better than I could ever say. Try not to let this news rob you of who you are. So many real-life miracles happen every day, and there is absolutely no reason why you can't have one, too. Overall, how do you feel? Are you able to get around? (that is blessing #1) Do you have easy access to your family and the people you love? (that would count as blessing #2) Life is what we make of it. Enjoy every minute, as we all should, simply because you can; not because it may be your last. I have convinced myself that it won't be the cancer to "do me in" but rather something really glamorous like tripping on a shoestring, or getting a deadly insect bite. Be brave, I know you can be...

All my best,

Stacy

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