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Newbie, dad with prostate ca mets

Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2004

Where to start... not sure. My dad, who is a vietnam vet and yes exposed to agent orange was diagnosed with prostate cancer this past Oct. He had surgery in Nov, and on follow up appointment they discovered it had mets to the bone. They are treating him with Lupron, but basically have said there really isn't anything to do. They gave him 18 months last Nov. I am very overwhelmed right now. I think it has just hit me how ill he really is and the past month he seems to be going down a lot. I'm not sure how to be supportive, loving, and really how to feel. I know I am coming out of being numb from it all. It feels, and the reality is that I am facing losing him, and I don't know how to do that. I try to enjoy each and every day with him, cherish the moments we have. But its hard, seeing him losing ground, knowing there is nothing I can do. I'm not sure which is worse, the cancer or knowing that I am so powerless over it. Any advice, or experience of others is greatly appreciated.

Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2004

Hi! I wonder if you will even see this because you wrote this message a while ago! Today is the first day I've ever logged on to this site...My mom is 52 and has breast cancer for the third time. The first time was in 2001, the second time it metastisized(SP) into her brain and lungs in 2003. Just 4 months ago, they said it was in remission again, but in the short time it has already come back strong in her brain, and she has just finished getting the maximum radiation that a body can have, cant have surgery, and there isnt really chemo that works well for the brain. So, they've said this is it. Could be 3 months, could be 6, 9, a year, but a year would be lucky. Needless to say every time she's had it it's been worse and worse and I have been more and more sad. Last time they said it was grim and I was almost in disbelief, which gradually grew into a deep sadness. And since it is most definitely it this time, I am shocked, sad, and horrified. I am only 19, and my brother is only 16, and my mom and dad are both 52. I guess what I can tell you is every time my mom has had cancer it has seemed more and more real. I am completely devastated. I don't know how close you are with your dad, but my mom and I have always been close, so sometimes I am just able to come right out and say, "I am so sad, I really love you, and I am so upset I don't know what to do with myself." This can be comforting, because they know that you really do love them, and you are trying to help and love them in your own way. I guess there is a ton more I could say, or even if you just want to write back and forth (no pressure). My e-mail is Sarahtwally@hotmail.com
Hope you'll be able to read this!

Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2005

Hello...How is your dad doing? My dad has stage four prostate ca which has mets to the bones. He was first diagnosed in July 2001. He is a true fighter but i am so afraid of what happens next. Docs says it just has to run its course. He is on Sumetra but I can see he is in pain. I want someone to share with me what should my sisters and I expect in the future. Any advice? Thanks

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