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Not as bad as it seems

Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2004

Memorial weekend I was diagnosed with malignant malanoma .22mm on my upper lip. Treatment was a day at the U of M where several removals took place, followed by 25 stitches to close it up. That's it, no chemo or radiation which I thank God for every day. Now I'm feeling like my friends think I'm wallowing! It still physically hurts quite a bit; the relationship with my boyfriend has changed; I'm a single mom of three and am under financial stress...I guess I just need afirmation that I'm validated in feelings of depression and feeling alone. It's not like I'm not trying. I started working out again and am going to begin volunteering at a nursing home this week. Any words of encouragment would be so welcome!!

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2004

Noone knows what a cancer survivor feels unless they have walked in their shoes. Once diagnosed with cancer, most of us live in fear of it returning. I found a very good cancer support group to attend and it has helped me tremendously! I am in my 3rd re-occurance (was stage III when diagnosed) and currently in treatment. I felt alone until I joined the group. If you find one and it doesn't feel right...try another. Also, if you feel you are depressed, talk to your doctor about it. There are medications that can help you feel better. Do you have faith in God? My faith has helped me through these trials. I live "one day at a time" and sometimes I change that to "one hour at a time". You will find however that after being diagnosed with cancer, you will start to notice brighter sunsets, more colorful flowers, beautiful birds, etc. You'll appreciate more and need less. Hang in there, you are NOT alone. God is ALWAYS there.

Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2004

Hello. This is my first time on the website and I find that I am feeling the same way as you. I was diagnosed June 17 and had my surgery 3 weeks ago. No need for chemo or rad either. I thought all the feelings I was going through before surgery was going to be it. But I am finding now that the feelings coming are overwhelming. I am still experiencing pain and a lot of fatigue too. Even though the doc got all of the melanoma. I too am feeling very alone through this. That "not as bad as it seems" way of thinking from other people only seems to me to come from people who haven't been through this. Your message has helped me feel less alone and freer to talk about these feelings and be accepted. I really understand how you feel. It's a big deal and we all need to help each other. I've gotten much help from my counselor/therapist-he's so nurturing. I find that's what I need the most-comfort and nurturing. Also, I keep running into women who have been through this are going through it and talking to them eases the ache. But today, no one's home and I came here. You've helped me in just posting your thoughts, even though I'm sorry you are suffering too. Take really good care of you and nurture yourself in ways that work for you.

Posts: 1
Joined: May 2004

This is my first time on the website and I felt compelled to write......I was dx with melanoma in March....I had a 2.75 nodular melanoma removed from my left arm.....my SNB came back clear which I am so very thankful....I have MS so I can't participate in any trials....went to the dermatologist this Monday and he removed a mole from my rt hip....sent it off to Dallas for pathology so now I am just waiting to see whats next.....I feel the same way you all do.....most people think its just "skin cancer"....nothing to worry about....my husband just doesn't want to talk about it and lets just pretend its ok....I am scared and not sure really who to talk to....don't want to burden my friends...everyone of them is healthy and busy....I have three boys that I am busy with most of the time....its the nights where you can't sleep....I am trying to keep a positive outlook and most of the time I think I am successful in that....its just the time where that dark cloud appears and you can't get out from under it.....just wanted to say you all are not alone....anyway just want to say this is helpful being able to vent to people who have been thru the same thing....take care everyone and God Bless.....Trish

Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2005

I wuld be seeing a dermatologist every 3months. Standard of care after melanoma removed. Please make sure the check your lymph nodes! My melanoma was early detected with less then a 2% chance of metastasis and Here I am with malignant melanoma stage III. 22 Lymph nodes removed in my l arm. You need alot more follow up! Please don't worry about appearence. Use your time wisely and make sure your kids know you love them. I would be looking more closely at information on melanoma cause you ain't out of the woods yet! Is UM university of Miami?

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