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Really nervous

grandma047's picture
Posts: 381
Joined: Feb 2004

Well, guys, surgery is one week from today. I was really nervous all day yesterday. Today is my pre admisiion testing, so I'm nervous today too. All I could think about yesterday(and this may sound a little gross) is that I have one more week to potty the normal way. The colostomy thing really has me scared. The lady that lives across the road from me is a nurse and she told me last night that she had worked with colostomy bags a lot and that if I needed help when no one was around to call me and she also told me that once I get used to it, I will feel a lot better physically. It's true, I can't imagine what it would be like to go somewhere and not have to check for bathrooms all along the way. Anyhow, how do you guys get past the fear when you're having surgery? Any suggestions would be appreciated and I'll keep you updated.
Love and prayers, Judy H(grandma047)

Posts: 100
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi Judy,

I know its hard - but please stay positive !
My mom went in for the same surgery as you last month - and she is doing great now. She is up and about and recovering nicely.

With respect to the colostomy, believe it or not, having it has eliminated the constant rushing back and forth to the "ladies room" and, although its taken some getting used to, she is feeling better overall.

Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers !

Posts: 232
Joined: Apr 2003

Judy- It is only natural to be a bit scared about surgery. You sound like a very strong person, however, and you will get through this. Remember that it offers you a good chance of a cure.

When I started talking with others about getting an ostomy, I found there were a lot more people than I had ever expected who had them. They have advantages. Standing in a very long line at the airport to try to get a flight out when a snowstorm had caused my flight to be cancelled, I realized there was no way I would have been able to do that the month before. Traveling and just going about day to day activities is so much easier when I don't have to worry about making a last minute dash to the bathroom.

My prayers are with you.

Best wishes,


Tessyann's picture
Posts: 56
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi you should see if you have a local ostomy group in your area..They are great and can give you many tips on living good with a ostomy... few thing...start saving water bottles they have pull up sip tops great for travel when you need to clean it...They can also give you listing of foods that can cause alot of gas or looose bowels depending on how high in the bowel you ostomy is you can even train it to go at certain times so you can cap it..
But most of all best wishes for a speedy recovery :)

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Judy--am still here-well at least til sunday night.
Hey--yu will be fine girl--won't know a thing about it till yu wake up--then there should be no pain--only maybe a little tightness--oh, and of course yu will be in la-la-land for a while anyway--so hey--don't sweat it kiddo--yu will be fine!
If yu kepp it to yourself I will admit to yu that I sat on the theatre table(I had an epidural-so was awake in theatre while they tapped my spine)--and--I cried--tru--did too!
Fancy a grown man crying!--thought I was a real woos on front of all the theatre nurses but they were great to me--even had one hold my hand!
Surgery is not so bad--afterwards is a little uncomfortable but yu get used to that.

Hey--look at it on the bright side Judy--yu won't have to go to the bathroom after and suffer a "burnin ar..."(scuse my french)
That was the worst thing, getting my first bowel movement--hurt like hell!
So yu hang in there babe--Jen and I are thinking of yu all the way--we won't forget yu on the 20th!!!!
luv n big huggies--and lotsa rainbows-kanga n Jen

jsabol's picture
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Judy,
I found the waiting for the surgery to be tough, too. I just wanted to get it over with. It's perfectly natural to be nervous, but just remember you will be in good hands; that's what we pay them the big bucks for!
I went into surgery pretty clear that I wouldn't need a colostomy, but there was the "unless, of course, we need to do one." So I can understand your anxiety about it. Good advice to talk with the ostomy people. Have they picked the site for your ostomy? As a nurse, I can tell you that lots of people have them and adjust fine.
To look at it from a different angle, my husbands aunt absolutely refused a colostomy when she was diagnosed with rectal cancer, so surgeon did what he could, but couldn't get it all. Two years later, she changed her mind, but it was too late. She kept saying "if only I had listened and had the colostomy." She passed away the month after her first grandchild was born. So...you have much to live for, and you will deal with this bump in the road, just as you have managed to find the strength to get through all of life's hurdles this far.
Hang in there, you're in my thoughts and prayers.
the other Judy

Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

Dear JudyH - Thinking of you! and wishing you all the best. It is normal to be nervous before surgery. That is healthy survivor instinct! And of course it is normal to be nervous about the impending colostomy. It is a big change. I believe you will be fine - even great. I find it helpful to remember - it's only how you poop - it's not Who You Are. I will be thinking of you over the next couple of weeks. Sending best wishes your way. Love,

kerry's picture
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Hi Grandma,

I'm still on vacation, but I check in frequently to see what is going on with my special friends and I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. You will be just fine. Surgery is always scary, no matter what kind of surgery you are having, but you will be just fine. Keep strong and positive, that is half the battle.

Blessings from Munich.


Posts: 102
Joined: Apr 2004

I will also be praying for you on your big day. I have never had surgery, so I can only imageine as I am the caregiver.. I worry for my hubby though... he'll be having a liver resection sometime in July I think. He didn't need the ostomy bag, but his father had to have one when he had his surgery 10 yrs ago and honestly you'd never know. When i got together with my hubby - i had no idea, you can't see it and he never complains about it. Since hubby was diagnosed I was able to ask more questions than i would have dared to in the past about his condition and treatments. The only problem i think he ever had was when he 1st had chemo and got diarrhea and it filled up quickly, so I guess they had to empty it more often. i am sure you will adjust to it and be just fine. Know that we'll all be thinking of you and come back here and let us know how you are doing when you are able. I am sure there are plenty of others who will find your experience very helpful as they face some of the same things you've gone thru. God Bless....
Sally Jo

mrslacsr's picture
Posts: 30
Joined: Apr 2002

I know how you feel. I had an illeostomy done two years ago and I felt the same way I counted the days until I could not go to the bathroom normally. It does get a little better. There is some comfort. I used to hurt everytime that I went to the bathroom. So to not have anymore pain everytime I went was a major plus.It gets better with time. I have a composition notebook that I write down how I feel;when no one is around or no one understands or even when I just feel like talking without bothering everyone else. In this book I can write down everything without hurting anyone's feelings because I am putting into words my own feelings. No one reads this but me and I still write in it since I am still going through cancer. On occassion I go back and read and look at what I have gone through and I am very thankful that I have made it this far. Try it;it may help;it did for me. Is it permanent or have they told you? Mine is permanent but I'll be ok. Keep your chin up and keep praying and you'll do fine. Let me know how things go. Good luck!

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