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How to help as a friend

Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2004

I am an artist and designer and I am trying to find something to make for my friend who is going through treatment. If I give Christine a stained glass angel or maybe a new hat (with consideration of loss of hair) would that help? I shaved my head with her six weeks ago so I understand the need for a head covering. I just don't want it to seem trivial. Can anyone suggest what you would appreciate? I just want to give her something solid to go with my hug. I just don't know what might make her feel better even for a small moment. Thank you for your time.

Posts: 6
Joined: Mar 2004

my friend made me a fleece blanket, for my recovery, at 44 it is my prize. You sound like a wonderful friend. another fab gift is the time and energy you have given her. I was alone 5 days a week, god bless you. little fun caps are nice too.

TealRibbon's picture
Posts: 44
Joined: May 2003

A lady who is a friend of my Sister in Law gave me a fringed fleece throw in and angel pattern and I took it to chemo to keep me warm and to the hospital when I had my surgery. I still treasure it. She also made me hats which I could not buy off the rack because I have a very large hat size. They made such a difference in how I felt when I went out.

Here is a link to the Kindness Beret Pattern:


Just copy and paste the entire address into your browser and it will take you right to it.

What a wonderful friend you must be! God Bless you!

Posts: 1995
Joined: May 2003

Those fleece throws are wonderful. I made 6 for holiday gifts. And you do tend to get cold because of treatments. The angel is a great idea, something to cast beautiful colors as the sun shines through - maybe giving a little ray of hope. I think as time goes on you will find what your friend needs or wants. And I want to personally thank you for your thoughtfullness and compassion through such a difficult time. Having a someone like you will be a great blessing to your friend. Keep us informed. All of you will be in my prayers.

Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2003

It is great that you want to help your friend. One of the things that my wonderful husband did to help me during my inpatient treatments was to make my room feel more like home. He packed a bag with pictures of my family and kids and artwork they made for me. As soon as we would get to my hospital room, he would plaster the windows and walls with pictures that made me smile every time I looked around. This made me feel better and reminded me what I was fighting for, especially since my hospital was an hour drive from home so my 2 and 5 year old (2 years ago) couldn't visit every day.

pshnyc's picture
Posts: 45
Joined: Feb 2003

What a thoughtful friend! Here are what some of my friends did for me during my treatment:

Arranged for a massage therapist to come give me reflexology after chemo -- this REALLY HELPED alleviate symptoms.

Sent over a make up artist to give me a lesson on how to do makeup when you are minus eyebrows and eyelashes.

Came over and cleaned my apartment.

Came over and made dinner when my husband (then fiancee) wasn't in town.

Sat with me during chemo...stayed overnight for the few days following chemo when hubby was away.

You are a great friend. I am sure just being there is a huge help. And, I can't believe you shaved your head in solidarity! AWESOME. Good luck to your friend and please let us know how you both are doing.


Posts: 16
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi there; my Mom gave me a "Willowtree" angel; they are carved from wood and you can get them anywhere. (Hallmark, ec) They have many types, and all are angels of some type of feeling. She gave me the "angel of courage"; she is looking up, hands held high above her head, reaching for the sky. 10% of the $$$ for her go to cancer research. (they run around $10) I loved her, I love my mom (a three-time cancer survivor, my HERO!) and it made me feel strong AND courageous. She still does, every time I look at her. You are a true friend, and the non-material contributions that you have made are enough in themselves. Bless you for caring so much, and letting her know it. Cancer is a very solitary fight, and the more friends you have, the more hope you have. She's lucky! bless you...VIX

Posts: 6
Joined: Mar 2004

Just give of yourself, be there every hour you possibly can. She can always buy a hat. Stay with her through Chemo sessions. It means so much. Good Luck !

Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2004

hi - i think everything you are currently doing for your friend is wonderful. those are the greatest gifts anyone could ask for - for your companionship and your dedication to her. my sister and my basketball team pleaded with me to allow them to shave her heads with me and to me that was the most giving act anyone had given me.

i think you should give her a pillow and ablanket with your names or pictures on it to always remind her of what a wonderful friend she has even at times when you arent together. surprise her with movies and flowers and send her cards in the mail - i always loved recieving those - even if you just write a little note saying hi and hope youre feeling good today.

good luck to you both!

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