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Help what should I do, all the rules are different!

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2004

I feel like I have stumbled into a strange world, through circumstances of life,work, and distance I have become a primary care giver to my sister in law (the wife of my husbands brother..)who I must admit over the serveral years we've been family there has been some underlying resentment on her part made worse by her first bout of cancer which put some more distance between us (as she put it "sometimes it seems the better your life gets the worse mine gets) The really wonderful thing is we got through all this BS and have become really close, she has had a really rough go of it with her meds and sickness and friends and kids and husband that sometimes happens when your world is devistated- her diagnosis this time aroundis terminal and although they gave her 3months and she is going on six but with the end seeming to close in she has yet to begin work on one of what she has discribed as her most important gifts audio tapes to her children- she says she wants to do them but each time its brought up she gets very emotional and doesn't want to deal with it that day, given our history I don't want her to feel pressured by especially me, I don't what her to feel alienated when our relationship has become so important but at the end I don't want her to have that regret, should I encourage her?

BionicKitty's picture
Posts: 15
Joined: Mar 2004

If she is drawn to that idea, but then gets too tired, maybe you can help her by setting it all up with a tape recorder, and act as an interviewer, ask questions about her memories, her children, her wishes etc(They even have Memory journals that have a million ideas for questions). Then you edit out your voice, and she didn't have to do the hard part . I work in television, so I have access to things like that.. It's a thought... Maybe just send her some of your excitement about that idea, kind of Psych her up for it.... Hope it helps, I'm new at this....BK

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