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i'm scared

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2004

hello, im 14 years old and just this past october my father, 41, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. i have 2 older siblings, 21 & 18, ever since my dad was diagnosed ive been scared to look at him and even to stay in the same room with him without crying. i know i need to be with him but im to scared to. ever since he was diagnosed everythings changed, at first ppl told me it would be ok and that only my home life will change....well now everythings changed, including school too. i really dont have time to spend with my family....i always have practice after school and on the weekends so im hardly home. i just dont know what to do! i need help and i need someone to talk thats been threw what im going threw right now. someone please help.:(

Posts: 31
Joined: Feb 2004

hello. when someone is diagnosed with cancer it does change everything, your right. your very young and what your going thru is very very hard and few of your friends will understand it. don't feel guilty about not having time at home as I'm sure your dad wants you to continue with your life, continue to play your sports in school, etc. as he must be very proud of you. I had a different kind of cancer but knowing my children loved me helped me to cope and I am sure your father knows how much you love him. You are not required to do anything different than you have done hon, except love him the way you always have. There are many support groups out there and I suggest you ask your mom to find one for you so you can go sit and talk to other children who are coping with what you are....it will help you immensely.

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi-I'm 15 years old and my dad,52, passed away from PC in October. He was diagnosed with it only a few months before in August, it was in the end stages and had already spread to his liver. My parents did wan't to tell me much about it and I refused to do any research, I think I just wanted to forget about it. Everybody was telling me to spend more time with him and talk to him. I wanted to but just couldn't bring myself to spend time with him. It was just awkward. I felt like I should have some great thing to say to him, or be able to make all the moments with him memorable, but all I really wanted was for everything to be normal again. I was hoping he would recover, but deep down I knew he was really really sick. A friend told me to write him a letter to tell him how I felt and how much I loved him. I waited too long and by the time I got myself together and wrote to him he was too sick, he had gone off chemo and the doctors had given him so many different pain killers he wasn't really my dad anymore. I just want you to know, make every moment the most you can, if you have to take time off practice, people will understand. You don't have to make a big deal out of the time you spend together, just speak your mind to him, sit with him and talk, I'm sure thats all he really wants. Its okay to cry, its normal, and sometimes crying together is exactly what you two may need. Take care and good luck, my thoughts are you with you and father.

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