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Thanks SpongeBob and Judy

Rickjackson
Posts: 3
Joined: Feb 2004

Thanks guys. I am udp right now in Japan and will be home again in April. We live in New Bern NC and my wife is seeing a onc from there. I need some advice/help in helping her deal with this. She has a lot going on right now and on top of all of it has our 2 children to take care of. Do you have any advice on how I can help her? I don't want to do or say something I think is helpful and have it end up doing the oposite. It really sucks being away like this, not being there for her. Any advice on this will be greatly appreciated. You can e-mail me at clarkaw@1mawmag12.usmc.mil if it is easier that way. I could also use a little help in dealing with it myself.
Tony

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2599
Joined: Apr 2003

Tony -

Understand your situation. I'll e-mail you SEPCOR.

- Bob

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Real tough stuff Tony--luckily we were both together when I was diagnosed--what can a fella say?
Be there for her on the l/line--email--whatever.You are both obviously very worried and understandably concerned.For yourself you need a buddy you can talk too--seek out someone you think will be able to "listen" to your concerns---it really is amazing how many people will lend an ear.Maybe they can't do a lot to help--but you need someone to share your feelings with--don't try to do it alone!Even though Jen and I are very close I sought out a friend of hers(lady) and asked her to lend a consoling ear to Jen to help her deal with the worries of having a husband with cancer.
You can't be there in body mate---but am sure she understands that.Listen to her--it will be frustrating--god knows we have been there.Support from any quarter is what you need--NO--it is not sympathy--it is peoples uncanny way of just being there to help people in need of support.
our best to you both,
kanga and Jen

Anonymous user (not verified)

Hi Tony. I know how rough it can be being separated for any length of time...both in good and bad situations. Married ex-Navy myself and although most of our separations were in good times, those were tough enough.

I agree with Kanga...find someone you can open discuss your feelings with. You'd be amazed how much it will help you. And what I am about to say can really be tough but please, take everything one step at a time and try real hard not to jump to conclusions. Much easier said then done but I kid you not, jumping to conclusions and playing the "what if" game will take a terrible toll on you both. Speak as often and as many times as you can to your wife. Remain positive and supportive and convey that feeling to her. If the news is not so good...okay, it's a set-back, but not the end of everything. Come to this board as often as you can to vent, gain knowledge, and just to feel better, if need be. And by all means, refer your wife here. Hands on is sometimes the best way to go.

I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers and you will get through this.

Monika

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