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The Sex question after radical prostate surgery

Posts: 5
Joined: Feb 2004

To be diagnosed with prostate cancer at 38 was not on my 90 "to do" list at my new job. It all started with performance abnormalities, burning and ED. Having been on the job market for 6 months, I attributed it to stress. At the behest of my wife, a check-up revealed a 4.6 PSA.

I ended up having my prostate removed within 4 weeks of the diagnosis. Two PSA checks since the surgery have yielded undetectable results. Overall, I consider myself very lucky, or am I.

I know it has only been 7 months post op, but the ED is getting frustrating. None of the drugs seems to help, and when it does work, it is too brief to be effective.

Am I part of the 70% success rate of the nerve sparing procedure - this is success. The erections are brief and far between.

The balance between frustration and patience (2 years according to the doctor for near normalcy) is a difficult one

I certainly do not want to complain, but having this procedure at this age, I admit I am having trouble wrapping my arms around the weight of it all.

The lust a desire that was common place for my wife, has been replaced by a feeling of inadequecy.

How do you get past it, is there a past it, am I too impatient, is there an answer.

Let me know what you think.

Posts: 23
Joined: Dec 2002

It's frustrating for all of us. I am not sure what nerve sparing means because a very large number of us really never get erections back. I tried Viagra and Levitra. Neither worked. I finally went to my local Uroligist and he gave me an injection in the penis. In 10 minutes I had a Great erection. Problem was it lasted for 4 hours. We got that straightened out so that after an orgasum the erections subsided. I gave myself injections 3 more times and now everything is Great. I get Great erections on my own. You need to get blood back into your penis. The longer you wait my Dr. says the longer it takes. Try the injections. It doesn't hurt and you will be pleasantly surprised. Good Luck.

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi I am going through the chat rooms for my partner looking for information regarding the muse, injections as well as the implant..I am not comfortable with him running right out and getting the implant...i feel that should be the last resort for us. It has not even been one year since the procedure and I see that he does get excited on his own I mean he swells from time to time...we have tried muse at a very low dose it does seem to give him an erection however it is not a full erection we are upping the dosage today. I understand that sometimes your erections can come back on their own with sometime. We would like more information from men that have used this drug. Am I out of order thinking that we can make this work without an implant? A nurse told us that a man was able to get erections on his own after two years of using muse...AND GUYS THE FEELINGS OF INADEQUECY IS NOT NEEDED ON YOUR PART..I LOVE MY PARTNER AND FULLY UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS GOING TO TAKE SOMETIME...HE STILL EXCITES ME,,,,IT STILL FEELS WONDERFUL TO HAVE HIS ARMS AROUND ME AND HIS BODY NEXT TO MINE...HOWEVER IT DOES MAKE ME FEEL SAID WHEN HE STARTS TO FEEL BAD ABOUT HIMSELF IT MAKES ME CRY BECAUSE I CAN FEEL THE PAIN THAT HE IS FEELING...JUST TRY TO BE AS UNDERSTANDING AS YOUR PARTNER IS BEING EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

rogermoore's picture
Posts: 265
Joined: Mar 2002


First of all everyone is different and recovery can vary greatly from person to person. Some of us have been very fortunate and others not so lucky. However, at this point of recovery (key word being recovery) I would weigh the options very carefully. From following this group since my surgery almost 4 years ago there have been several instances where it may take some time to regain full functionality.

I think it is a GREAT indicator that your partner does get aroused emotionally and there is some response physically. I have read that use of the injections can lead to normal erections after some time of use.

I think your partner is very fortunate to have such a loving and concerned mate. Keep the faith and do all the research you can before making any decision. Best of luck to you both.


Posts: 24
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi curious. You and I must have had our surgery about the same time (I had mine on 7/25/03). I also had a pre op psa of 4.6. I am still impotent and my doctor wants to wait to see if it will come back on it's own without using anything else. He has suggested viagra but I also have high blood pressure and I don't want to try that yet. I am 55 years old - not 38 like you. I'm sure it is harder to wait at your age but you can try what Warren suggests either viagra or injections. From what I understand - it does take time and most men do get erections (some with help). But there is no ejaculations anymore but you can still get an orgasm without ejaculations. We'll keep you in our prayers. God bless. Mike

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2004

Your a lot more than courious your probable scared.
I had advanced prostate cancer two years ago and selected surgery over other possible treatments. Furtunetly for me my youngest daughter is an OR nurse and works with one of the top Uroligists in the country.
She told me that while I was under for my prostate surgery I could select to have an implant done at the same time. That is what I did and I have to tell you that with the push of one botton I get bigger that I have ever been and can go for hours. My wife loves it and I still have my nerves working so although it is dry I still climax and enjoy the pleasure while driving my wife crazy. I know for you this means another surgical precedure, but I can tell you from experience it is worth it.
Hope this helps.

Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2004

1222, Your not alone for sure, I am 39 years old and had my RP done on 12/04/03. So being only 4 months post RP I have been searching for many answers myself. I have looked for men my age or at least close with no luck. Your questions are some of the same I'm asking. I can tell you that I had both my nerves saved and to this date I can't get an erection on my own yet but I sure have the feelings that it want's to work. I looked at it a couple of different ways. First I thought I wouldn't get the surgery done becuase I was to damn young to loose that part of my life and I started to think about just waiting and watching but I couldn't do it. Now I look at it like I have 2 years (per my DR) before I may be able to have erections on my own. Well that's not good enough for me so I started taking the pills, Not all at the same time but I've tried all three at different times. The Viagra seems to help the most and I can get enough of an erection to make it work but no where near the norm. As far as orgasams, well they are not at all like they use to be but I have found that even tho they are dry now they also are more intense. I have recently started using a VED and for me it brought back my old friend that I thought I would never see again. It's a hassle to interupt foreplay to use it but if you have a woman that is understanding then just include it as part of the foreplay. I'm not looking into the injections as long as I can make it work with the pump. As I said, It new to me too so I'm still looking for a better way to go. Good luck and feel free to contact me because I know how hard it is to find someone our age that can offer a closer input than some one 20 years older. Not to say the older men don't have good points to offer but for me it's a different take than I have at my age. GOOD LUCK

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