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caring for my grandmother

Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2004

My grandmother was diagnosed in May with two tumors in her lungs. There is one in each side. She went throungh radiation with no problem, and finished at the end of August. Starting in September, she has been in the hospital once a month. This time she has been there for a week now, and she is worse than ever. For about five days, the staff at the hospital was not giving her the steroids she was supposed to have. Now whe has an infection from her IV, a yeast infection from the antibiotics, a feeding tube because she can't eat or drink, and she is in constant pain from all the tests. Tonight, I was told that they think she may have another tumor in her back. I don't know what to do anymore. At night, I can't sleep, because she is not here. All I do is sit and cry, remembering my father and two uncles that died from cancer. This is so much harder I guess, because I've lived with her for 13 years. I've always been able to solve any problems that came up in our lives, but don't know how to solve this. Does anyone have any idea how I can start to cope with this? I need to work to pay the bills, but she wants me with her day and night. I have a hard time telling her no. She's 83 years old, and deserves better than what's getting now.

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Posts: 7
Joined: Sep 2003

HI MS...first of all I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother...I to am a caregiver...my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer this past August...he had surgery on 12/22 after completing 28 radiation treatments and taking oral daily chemo starting on 9/30 through 11/7...he is now re-couperating from his surgery before starting back on chemo...like you I found it difficult to return to work leaving him alone for the most part...and like you...I need to work to make sure that the bills etc. get paid...you are so right... it is difficult...be honest with your grandmother...tell her that although you would like to stay with her all day long...you have to work...and do your best to be positive during the time you do get to spend with her...listen when she needs to talk...offer honest advice when asked...and above all re-assure her that you love her and that she is not alone on this journey... chin up...and remember that you also are not alone...


Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2003

I completely understand you, because i just lost my grandma to lung cancer 4 months ago, and i lived with her since the day i was borned, she was 86 years old, and as you said she did not diserve that kind of death.....
.....But what can i tell you???.....She is going to go when "bands of angels come and take her away to be with the lord where there is no more pain"....It is hard to accept it (in fact i have not done it yet), but just think about her, do not cry in front of her, be happy, put a smile in her face every time u can, hug her, kiss her, give her all the love you have inside, because then it is going to be too late.....Just that, join her in her path....Now it is time to be strong and smiley, beleive me then you will have enough time to cry, but not now...

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