Nightmare
We are both scared, very scared and any help with questions or just general support will be great.
Oh, he's talking about doing a lumpectomy with radiation.
Thanks
Comments
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Education is good having options is power. Prayer/Faith is probably the strongest factor. Go to God and draw from your faith. He listens and answers! Cry and mourn the loss of the tissue and then, pull yourselves up and prepare for the fight. It's so mental and you are so FANTASTIC to come here and get support for her! She is lucky to have you beside her loving her UNCONDITIONALLY.You can't "fix" her but you can be there to support and listen and just "be" with her. Keep moving forward as you are now and keep the lines of communication open. By just you looking for support and knowledge, I feel you two will come out of this stronger individuals and togehter. My prayers are with you.0
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As much as I like the ACS and other internet sources, I like to sit around in the evenings with a good book, not a computer screen. Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book is a good standard reference. Available at the public library or for purchase. I think Buy.com offers it for $13, which includes shipping. You are lucky to be dealing with Stage 1, which has very good treatment results (statistically). I agree, it's a pretty bad shock to the system when that biopsy comes back. Be sure to write your questions down for that first meeting so you remember to ask them. Also be sure to take paper and pen so you can write down what they say. I guarantee that you'll feel much better after you meet with the different members of your oncology team. They've been through this thousands of times with other women and will probably offer the answers to your questions before you even ask them!0
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Hello: I am a survivor...I just finished treatment in July. I know how stressful and scary all of this is for you both. The best thing you can do is what you are doing...educate yourself on all your options. Don't foget if something doesn't "feel" right you can always get a second opinion. I did on a lot of things. One of the best web sites I found was www.breastcancer.org It's packed with information and is easy to understand. Also, I took a tape recoder with me to a lot of my initial appointments, because I knew I wasn't going to hear half the stuff that was said to me. When I first met with the surgeon I took a friend with me along with my husband because both of us were in to much shock to hear what he was saying. You are in my prayers.0
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She is lucky to have you, to be so caring to even talk about her ordeal. She is going to be ok, because she is a person, not just a pair of boobs, good luck...it is really not that bad, you can have a full life together, I am a 48 yr old 7 yr breast cancer survivor and feeling very fit and strong. God bless you both, senabel0
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Wow! Don't think I can add anything else to all of the good advice you've gotten so far. I second the statement that she is lucky, blessed to have you for support.senabel said:She is lucky to have you, to be so caring to even talk about her ordeal. She is going to be ok, because she is a person, not just a pair of boobs, good luck...it is really not that bad, you can have a full life together, I am a 48 yr old 7 yr breast cancer survivor and feeling very fit and strong. God bless you both, senabel
Knowledge is power. God is strength and refuge.
Two websites I recommend www.cancer.gov and www.urcctc.com The first will give you medical info the second spiritual comfort and healing. God bless you both. (((HUGS))) hummingbyrd0 -
Thank you all so much. I know that when someone new comes in here, it must bring back the "early" days of your diagnoses, so I thank you all that much more. We are both on another support board (we were, but are trying to focus more on this), so I understand that angle.hummingbyrd said:Wow! Don't think I can add anything else to all of the good advice you've gotten so far. I second the statement that she is lucky, blessed to have you for support.
Knowledge is power. God is strength and refuge.
Two websites I recommend www.cancer.gov and www.urcctc.com The first will give you medical info the second spiritual comfort and healing. God bless you both. (((HUGS))) hummingbyrd
The good news about all the research we have been doing is that the web is full of information (and probably mis-information), that is also the bad news. We talked some last night and both found out that we get to that point where it becomes overwhelming and you try to shift your focus.
I asked her not to try to do so much research, I have lots of things printed off, from this website and others, to help us formulate questions and decide whether a second opinion is in order and what types.
Also, I have asked her to go see one of the local ladies that runs a supoprt group (the Doc's office gave it to us last Friday) and get some one on one face time with a survivor. The net is great, but face time is important, I believe.
She's had a bad divorce and several surgeries and now this. I try to be upbeat with her and succeed most of the time, she feels like she has no fight in her right now. I pray to God that He gives her the strength she needs, I need and the team needs to have a successful outcome. I also pray that no lymph nodes are affected.
Reading the stories here gives one hope. I love reading all the success stories and hearing that someone else has beat it!
Someone on this thread (forgive me!) said that she is a person, not a pair of boobs. How correct you are. I love her for who she is and told her last night if she has to do chemo, then there'll be two bald people in the house. I'll shave my whole body if I have to. She laughed and made a joke about it.
I guess it's easy to stick your head in the sand. My mother died from lung cancer in 1992. I never wanted to hear the word again. My fiance was always very scared (family history of BC) and now we are both "going to school" on the subject. We also plan to support the ACS and specifically BC research when (yes, when!) we get her through this.
We see the surgeon on Monday. Pray. I am getting a handheld tape recorder this weekend and we've agreed to take our material to the lake (away from the phone) and get somewhere quiet, enjoy as much as we can of the day and maybe think of things to ask the doc. From the research I've done on various sites, it could be borderline stage 2 (2 CM, if you go by size). I also understand that the treatment is pretty much the same as 1 with a roughly equivalent survival rate.
Thanks again, you will never know what it means to have this kind of support.....
jolliff0 -
Hi,
I can't really add anything more than what everyone has already said. Your fiance is so very lucky to have you. I know when I was going through my surgeries and treatments, my husband was my rock. It is so very important to have a good support system when going through this. My husband went to every doctors appointment and treatment with me. It is good to go to the doctors appointments with your fiance because they throw so much information at you it is hard to take it all in. As hummingbyrd suggested, a tape recorder is a great idea.
Another thing I found helpful was the ACS has a program called "Reach to Recovery". It is a support program for women that have been diagnosed with BC. It is staffed by BC survivors who have been there. I know for myself it was very helpful (still is) to talk about everything. Everyone is different, some people don't want to talk about it but it sounds like you are like me and talking helps.
Also, make sure you are comfortable with your doctors. I loved my oncologist from the beginning and his guidance and support were very important to us. He/she has to be willing to answer ALL your questions. My first two appointments with my doctor were both over three hours long and I know if I had more questions, he would have been there longer.
Good luck on Monday. You both will be in my prayers. Keep us posted on how you make out...Cheryl0 -
Hello to all of you lovely, caring people.
Warning....this will be a long one.....
I am Jack's fiancee, Susan. I wanted to thank all of you for your kind replies to Jack (Jolliff). Yes, he is my rock and I thank God for this man everyday. I'd like to take a moment and tell you what has happened in the last couple of years and how finding this man has changed my life.
I was married to a very unemotional, uncaring man and we were together for 18 years. Our marriage was falling apart for a few years and each time I would have surgery (jaw joint replacement for osteoarthritis), I would hear, "I don't think I love you" and it finally moved on to "I never loved you". That began the spiral down into divorce which I initiated. He was and still is classic midlife crisis. In the span of less than two years, I lost about 15 lbs and never put it back on, suffered from chronic, terrible jaw pain, left a great job for another "supposed" great job only to be laid off and the office closed. All during this time my ex was trying to take my house away from me. He took all of the savings, my life insurance and our investments. I got to keep the house and about 14K in debt he attached to the house. He has been nothing but horrid. I also had to put down my beloved golden retriever one year ago.
I had joined a midlife crisis forum and that is where I met Jack. We were just simply email buds for over a year. In Dec of 2001 he came to visit just to get away from the south and see the beautiful mountains of western PA. He even had a room at the Inn down the steet. That weekend changed our lives forever. In March he began looking for a job in PA but nothing. I was not working (and am still not) as I was getting ready for two major surgeries for new titanium jaw replacements that would spaced out 12 weeks apart.
Jack and I so wanted to live in my home in the mountains with our lovely native trout stream but finally, since he could not find a job at home, I moved here last Sept. (I honestly don't remember much of that move at all). Yet we drove back and forth to PGH,PA for surgery and he was amazing, just amazing. Especially after having a husband who was never there for me and kicking me back to work two or one week postop for my paycheck. I have had a total of 10 jaw surgeries.
Anyway, Jack helped me refinance the house up north, thank God but we finally had to rent it out this past May. That was very hard on both of us. Neither one of us likes the deep south.
So just when you think you are on the road to recovery, just when you think you might get to be normal again and go to work and then complain about it well, this happened. I had always (and I mean) always shyed away from anything about breast ca since my grandmother died at 52, many years ago. It is the fear in all our lives and my mother was once ready to have a double mast just to get out the tissue. She is fibrocystic as am I and my sis. In fact my gyne, this surgeon, the sono people and radiologist up north have all said they have never seen a woman so fibrocystic. Lucky me? I have had about 4 large cysts drained in the past (alone) and the fear was always great but I was so lucky. I sort of knew this one was different but I kept hoping and we talked of flying me home to see my gyne who would just drain right there in the office and be done. I don't know about the rest of you but from the day of ovulation until my period my breast were so painful at times it's almost unbearable. But with this lump, at this time, I knew I couldn't be away from Jack and did some research and found a surgeon here in this small place. I am very impressed with this surgeon, so far. He is caring and supportive etc. I feel good about him.
That biopsy was frightening but I saw it on the sono and knew it was different. He tried to aspirate it and it hurt so badly. I knew something was terribly wrong and he used two syringes of 60cc's of lidocaine to numb me up but I shook uncontrollably. Thank God Jack was there and holding onto my ankle. They ran it right over to the lab and I knew, I just knew. I was right. Now the fear of my life is staring me right in my face.
I am broken down from fighting jaw pain and long long surgeries, I am broken down from fighting my ex who is again three months behind in alimony. Jack, my Dad and brother have now taken that part over. I am not to deal with it. My ex told Jack, in an email, that he thought I was LYING when I told him of the breast CA like the boy who cried wolf? Why, because I'd have 4 cysts drained? Why is that lying? Because he is projecting. Anyway, Jack has blocked him from contacting me and going after harassment charges as well, we hope. At the very least we hope he gets thrown in jail for contempt of court due to the late alimony again.
So, after the horror of all of those things I must now find some fight in me. This is so difficult already being postop, weak, tired and too thin. But find the fight I will. How could you not with a man and family like I have.
So that is some of my story and I am a firm believer in stress playing a major part in illness.
We pray. We also pray for all of you. I want and will be a survivor. I finally have a loving, quality man in my life and there is no way I will give up. We deserve some peace and health so that we can live together and grow old together. I think God did give me Jack for many reason and BC is one of the big ones. I just ask that HE gets support, he needs it. People forget about that and I want to support him too.
So we do research as so far we know it is ductal ca but NOT in situ which I think means it's more invasive? Also I was ready to have a double mastectomy to get rid of all tissue in both sides so I can relax. The doc thinks a lumpectomy and some radiation but I know some women start with a lump and end up with a mastectomy. I have decided if that does happen I will go to Sloan Kettering since I have my brother in NYC. I will stay in this small town and have the surgery in this small hospital since I feel safe with this doc, but he gets one shot.
I have been in the healthcare field for over 25 years and know a lot but not about this, we are learning. I feel like I have to take my medical boards on Monday and am feeling overwhelmed but can do it. I have my sis (nurse) and others reading up on it too. Thankfully, I have a family who can fly me anywhere, anytime for anything and I am so grateful. I am most grateful for this wonderful, loving man. I am grateful for the strides that have been made and now it is not a death sentence like it was for my dear grandmother.
Some things in life are not fair and after the last few years I could just ball my eyes out wondering why me? Especially having to go through divorce when I don't believe in it and having to fight so hard the cheater and liar....
I suppose all things for a reason and at first I was ready to throw in the towel but now I'm beginning to feel those stirrings of spirit that I had thought were gone forever.
I thank you all for reading this saga and I especially thank Jack for being so proactive and supportive. I have a feeling we won't be waiting much longer to get married. I wish we could do it today...........
Thank you again and I look forward to getting to know many of you and reading your positive stories and inspirations. This is much better than a midlife crisis board when now that all seems so inconsequential.
Love and Hugs to all,
SusanG0 -
Susan and Jack,SusanG said:Hello to all of you lovely, caring people.
Warning....this will be a long one.....
I am Jack's fiancee, Susan. I wanted to thank all of you for your kind replies to Jack (Jolliff). Yes, he is my rock and I thank God for this man everyday. I'd like to take a moment and tell you what has happened in the last couple of years and how finding this man has changed my life.
I was married to a very unemotional, uncaring man and we were together for 18 years. Our marriage was falling apart for a few years and each time I would have surgery (jaw joint replacement for osteoarthritis), I would hear, "I don't think I love you" and it finally moved on to "I never loved you". That began the spiral down into divorce which I initiated. He was and still is classic midlife crisis. In the span of less than two years, I lost about 15 lbs and never put it back on, suffered from chronic, terrible jaw pain, left a great job for another "supposed" great job only to be laid off and the office closed. All during this time my ex was trying to take my house away from me. He took all of the savings, my life insurance and our investments. I got to keep the house and about 14K in debt he attached to the house. He has been nothing but horrid. I also had to put down my beloved golden retriever one year ago.
I had joined a midlife crisis forum and that is where I met Jack. We were just simply email buds for over a year. In Dec of 2001 he came to visit just to get away from the south and see the beautiful mountains of western PA. He even had a room at the Inn down the steet. That weekend changed our lives forever. In March he began looking for a job in PA but nothing. I was not working (and am still not) as I was getting ready for two major surgeries for new titanium jaw replacements that would spaced out 12 weeks apart.
Jack and I so wanted to live in my home in the mountains with our lovely native trout stream but finally, since he could not find a job at home, I moved here last Sept. (I honestly don't remember much of that move at all). Yet we drove back and forth to PGH,PA for surgery and he was amazing, just amazing. Especially after having a husband who was never there for me and kicking me back to work two or one week postop for my paycheck. I have had a total of 10 jaw surgeries.
Anyway, Jack helped me refinance the house up north, thank God but we finally had to rent it out this past May. That was very hard on both of us. Neither one of us likes the deep south.
So just when you think you are on the road to recovery, just when you think you might get to be normal again and go to work and then complain about it well, this happened. I had always (and I mean) always shyed away from anything about breast ca since my grandmother died at 52, many years ago. It is the fear in all our lives and my mother was once ready to have a double mast just to get out the tissue. She is fibrocystic as am I and my sis. In fact my gyne, this surgeon, the sono people and radiologist up north have all said they have never seen a woman so fibrocystic. Lucky me? I have had about 4 large cysts drained in the past (alone) and the fear was always great but I was so lucky. I sort of knew this one was different but I kept hoping and we talked of flying me home to see my gyne who would just drain right there in the office and be done. I don't know about the rest of you but from the day of ovulation until my period my breast were so painful at times it's almost unbearable. But with this lump, at this time, I knew I couldn't be away from Jack and did some research and found a surgeon here in this small place. I am very impressed with this surgeon, so far. He is caring and supportive etc. I feel good about him.
That biopsy was frightening but I saw it on the sono and knew it was different. He tried to aspirate it and it hurt so badly. I knew something was terribly wrong and he used two syringes of 60cc's of lidocaine to numb me up but I shook uncontrollably. Thank God Jack was there and holding onto my ankle. They ran it right over to the lab and I knew, I just knew. I was right. Now the fear of my life is staring me right in my face.
I am broken down from fighting jaw pain and long long surgeries, I am broken down from fighting my ex who is again three months behind in alimony. Jack, my Dad and brother have now taken that part over. I am not to deal with it. My ex told Jack, in an email, that he thought I was LYING when I told him of the breast CA like the boy who cried wolf? Why, because I'd have 4 cysts drained? Why is that lying? Because he is projecting. Anyway, Jack has blocked him from contacting me and going after harassment charges as well, we hope. At the very least we hope he gets thrown in jail for contempt of court due to the late alimony again.
So, after the horror of all of those things I must now find some fight in me. This is so difficult already being postop, weak, tired and too thin. But find the fight I will. How could you not with a man and family like I have.
So that is some of my story and I am a firm believer in stress playing a major part in illness.
We pray. We also pray for all of you. I want and will be a survivor. I finally have a loving, quality man in my life and there is no way I will give up. We deserve some peace and health so that we can live together and grow old together. I think God did give me Jack for many reason and BC is one of the big ones. I just ask that HE gets support, he needs it. People forget about that and I want to support him too.
So we do research as so far we know it is ductal ca but NOT in situ which I think means it's more invasive? Also I was ready to have a double mastectomy to get rid of all tissue in both sides so I can relax. The doc thinks a lumpectomy and some radiation but I know some women start with a lump and end up with a mastectomy. I have decided if that does happen I will go to Sloan Kettering since I have my brother in NYC. I will stay in this small town and have the surgery in this small hospital since I feel safe with this doc, but he gets one shot.
I have been in the healthcare field for over 25 years and know a lot but not about this, we are learning. I feel like I have to take my medical boards on Monday and am feeling overwhelmed but can do it. I have my sis (nurse) and others reading up on it too. Thankfully, I have a family who can fly me anywhere, anytime for anything and I am so grateful. I am most grateful for this wonderful, loving man. I am grateful for the strides that have been made and now it is not a death sentence like it was for my dear grandmother.
Some things in life are not fair and after the last few years I could just ball my eyes out wondering why me? Especially having to go through divorce when I don't believe in it and having to fight so hard the cheater and liar....
I suppose all things for a reason and at first I was ready to throw in the towel but now I'm beginning to feel those stirrings of spirit that I had thought were gone forever.
I thank you all for reading this saga and I especially thank Jack for being so proactive and supportive. I have a feeling we won't be waiting much longer to get married. I wish we could do it today...........
Thank you again and I look forward to getting to know many of you and reading your positive stories and inspirations. This is much better than a midlife crisis board when now that all seems so inconsequential.
Love and Hugs to all,
SusanG
I went the lumpectomy and radiation route. So far, so good. My thinking was that I'd go with the most conservative option available and then still have other options if it didn't work.
I never educated myself as well as you two seem to be doing, because although I know that knowledge is power, I really couldn't see where knowledge of the "physical" intricacies of all this would help "make me better." So, I told the docs, "you take care of the physical side of this, and I'll take care of the rest that's involved." So, "you just take care of the cancer, and I'll deal with the rest." Thus, I have very little knowledge of what even went on or why - I allowed them to do their part, and I did mine dealing with the exhaustion, side-effects, etc.
I found your note eerily familiar to mine in regard to the jaw surgery, Susan. I too have had extensive and numerous jaw/facial surgeries (after a mugging, not arthritis). I definitely know the pain..and the inconvenience of having jaws wired shut for over 6 months at a time!!! Not fun for me......BUT, I'm a beachcomber with a metal detector's greatest find! - my whole head is wired and pinned together!!
I wish you all the best. And although I truly agree with educating yourself, and I truly agree that that education can offer you options; just be careful that you don't try to delve in so deeply that you think YOU are the expert in fixing the physical part of you. Get a good doctor that you trust, put it in his/her SKILLED hands, and you and Jack work on trying to feel good, trying to set a schedule for dishwashing and chores, try to get out and have some fun rather than worrying all the time about something you really have little control over. YOU take control of your emotions, feelings, fears, regrets, whatever.......let the docs take control of the cancer.
All the best to you both!!0 -
Susan, don't ask why, you won't get an answer and it'll drive you nuts wondering why. You said yourself you had that spiritual feeling back that you thought you'd lost forever. Praise God for that! Now you can ask, 'Lord what do you want me to do with this in order to bring you honor and glory?' Then just watch the blessings roll in! God bless you and best of luck in your future marriage. (((HUGS))) hummbSusanG said:Hello to all of you lovely, caring people.
Warning....this will be a long one.....
I am Jack's fiancee, Susan. I wanted to thank all of you for your kind replies to Jack (Jolliff). Yes, he is my rock and I thank God for this man everyday. I'd like to take a moment and tell you what has happened in the last couple of years and how finding this man has changed my life.
I was married to a very unemotional, uncaring man and we were together for 18 years. Our marriage was falling apart for a few years and each time I would have surgery (jaw joint replacement for osteoarthritis), I would hear, "I don't think I love you" and it finally moved on to "I never loved you". That began the spiral down into divorce which I initiated. He was and still is classic midlife crisis. In the span of less than two years, I lost about 15 lbs and never put it back on, suffered from chronic, terrible jaw pain, left a great job for another "supposed" great job only to be laid off and the office closed. All during this time my ex was trying to take my house away from me. He took all of the savings, my life insurance and our investments. I got to keep the house and about 14K in debt he attached to the house. He has been nothing but horrid. I also had to put down my beloved golden retriever one year ago.
I had joined a midlife crisis forum and that is where I met Jack. We were just simply email buds for over a year. In Dec of 2001 he came to visit just to get away from the south and see the beautiful mountains of western PA. He even had a room at the Inn down the steet. That weekend changed our lives forever. In March he began looking for a job in PA but nothing. I was not working (and am still not) as I was getting ready for two major surgeries for new titanium jaw replacements that would spaced out 12 weeks apart.
Jack and I so wanted to live in my home in the mountains with our lovely native trout stream but finally, since he could not find a job at home, I moved here last Sept. (I honestly don't remember much of that move at all). Yet we drove back and forth to PGH,PA for surgery and he was amazing, just amazing. Especially after having a husband who was never there for me and kicking me back to work two or one week postop for my paycheck. I have had a total of 10 jaw surgeries.
Anyway, Jack helped me refinance the house up north, thank God but we finally had to rent it out this past May. That was very hard on both of us. Neither one of us likes the deep south.
So just when you think you are on the road to recovery, just when you think you might get to be normal again and go to work and then complain about it well, this happened. I had always (and I mean) always shyed away from anything about breast ca since my grandmother died at 52, many years ago. It is the fear in all our lives and my mother was once ready to have a double mast just to get out the tissue. She is fibrocystic as am I and my sis. In fact my gyne, this surgeon, the sono people and radiologist up north have all said they have never seen a woman so fibrocystic. Lucky me? I have had about 4 large cysts drained in the past (alone) and the fear was always great but I was so lucky. I sort of knew this one was different but I kept hoping and we talked of flying me home to see my gyne who would just drain right there in the office and be done. I don't know about the rest of you but from the day of ovulation until my period my breast were so painful at times it's almost unbearable. But with this lump, at this time, I knew I couldn't be away from Jack and did some research and found a surgeon here in this small place. I am very impressed with this surgeon, so far. He is caring and supportive etc. I feel good about him.
That biopsy was frightening but I saw it on the sono and knew it was different. He tried to aspirate it and it hurt so badly. I knew something was terribly wrong and he used two syringes of 60cc's of lidocaine to numb me up but I shook uncontrollably. Thank God Jack was there and holding onto my ankle. They ran it right over to the lab and I knew, I just knew. I was right. Now the fear of my life is staring me right in my face.
I am broken down from fighting jaw pain and long long surgeries, I am broken down from fighting my ex who is again three months behind in alimony. Jack, my Dad and brother have now taken that part over. I am not to deal with it. My ex told Jack, in an email, that he thought I was LYING when I told him of the breast CA like the boy who cried wolf? Why, because I'd have 4 cysts drained? Why is that lying? Because he is projecting. Anyway, Jack has blocked him from contacting me and going after harassment charges as well, we hope. At the very least we hope he gets thrown in jail for contempt of court due to the late alimony again.
So, after the horror of all of those things I must now find some fight in me. This is so difficult already being postop, weak, tired and too thin. But find the fight I will. How could you not with a man and family like I have.
So that is some of my story and I am a firm believer in stress playing a major part in illness.
We pray. We also pray for all of you. I want and will be a survivor. I finally have a loving, quality man in my life and there is no way I will give up. We deserve some peace and health so that we can live together and grow old together. I think God did give me Jack for many reason and BC is one of the big ones. I just ask that HE gets support, he needs it. People forget about that and I want to support him too.
So we do research as so far we know it is ductal ca but NOT in situ which I think means it's more invasive? Also I was ready to have a double mastectomy to get rid of all tissue in both sides so I can relax. The doc thinks a lumpectomy and some radiation but I know some women start with a lump and end up with a mastectomy. I have decided if that does happen I will go to Sloan Kettering since I have my brother in NYC. I will stay in this small town and have the surgery in this small hospital since I feel safe with this doc, but he gets one shot.
I have been in the healthcare field for over 25 years and know a lot but not about this, we are learning. I feel like I have to take my medical boards on Monday and am feeling overwhelmed but can do it. I have my sis (nurse) and others reading up on it too. Thankfully, I have a family who can fly me anywhere, anytime for anything and I am so grateful. I am most grateful for this wonderful, loving man. I am grateful for the strides that have been made and now it is not a death sentence like it was for my dear grandmother.
Some things in life are not fair and after the last few years I could just ball my eyes out wondering why me? Especially having to go through divorce when I don't believe in it and having to fight so hard the cheater and liar....
I suppose all things for a reason and at first I was ready to throw in the towel but now I'm beginning to feel those stirrings of spirit that I had thought were gone forever.
I thank you all for reading this saga and I especially thank Jack for being so proactive and supportive. I have a feeling we won't be waiting much longer to get married. I wish we could do it today...........
Thank you again and I look forward to getting to know many of you and reading your positive stories and inspirations. This is much better than a midlife crisis board when now that all seems so inconsequential.
Love and Hugs to all,
SusanG0 -
Thank you so much for your thoughtful replies!hummingbyrd said:Susan, don't ask why, you won't get an answer and it'll drive you nuts wondering why. You said yourself you had that spiritual feeling back that you thought you'd lost forever. Praise God for that! Now you can ask, 'Lord what do you want me to do with this in order to bring you honor and glory?' Then just watch the blessings roll in! God bless you and best of luck in your future marriage. (((HUGS))) hummb
Hummingbird, you are so right about God and what you said. I have to say that when I was going through my divorce I rediscovered my faith with the help of a pastor and Jack. I went to counseling with my pastor to help me with the mistakes I made and also to put divorce right in my head. Jack is very spiritual and knows the bible better than most. I remember back to spending much time discussing the bible and what it means since I am really a novice.
Finding God again helped me when life seemed so overwhelming and I am thankful. Unfortuantely, I lived in a very small town east of Pgh (a lovely town) so word gets around, fast. Ex told me what an idiot I was pretending to be Christ-like and someone saw me walking from my car to the church with my bible. He was again horrid about it but Jack didn't let that bother him at all. Prayed for him, in fact.
I do trust my faith, I do believe God does not give you anything you can not handle. I miss my church at home. Down here the Presby church we were attending is not doing well, they don't have a regular pastor. The south is so different in the fact that there are so, so many churches of faiths I never heard of. Faiths that speak in tongues and such and I am middle of road Presby. We need to find another.
I am just grateful to have my faith and trust in God though at times I rant to him and ask that eternal question of WHY good people have to suffer when I know full well bad people seem so skate through life. The end is not up to me, the reasons are not up to me. My belief is up to me and we must lean upon Him to help us, yet again.
I am now off to shower and see this woman who is the support person, and survivor, for this area. Jack is adament that I not spend the entire day in the internet and go out and talk to a real person.
Yet, I can not tell you all how very much we both appreciate this support and I am thankful Jack found all of you.
I will pray for each and everyone of you and look forward to going back to read your stories and "catch up" with this board.
Just a note....even though I kept my head in the sand forever about BC, I always used my United Way dollars for BC research. That was for my grandmother and all that came after her......
Thank you all so much, what a wonderful, strong group of positive people....
Love and Hugs,
Susan0 -
Susan! I am so glad to see you joined this discussion.SusanG said:Thank you so much for your thoughtful replies!
Hummingbird, you are so right about God and what you said. I have to say that when I was going through my divorce I rediscovered my faith with the help of a pastor and Jack. I went to counseling with my pastor to help me with the mistakes I made and also to put divorce right in my head. Jack is very spiritual and knows the bible better than most. I remember back to spending much time discussing the bible and what it means since I am really a novice.
Finding God again helped me when life seemed so overwhelming and I am thankful. Unfortuantely, I lived in a very small town east of Pgh (a lovely town) so word gets around, fast. Ex told me what an idiot I was pretending to be Christ-like and someone saw me walking from my car to the church with my bible. He was again horrid about it but Jack didn't let that bother him at all. Prayed for him, in fact.
I do trust my faith, I do believe God does not give you anything you can not handle. I miss my church at home. Down here the Presby church we were attending is not doing well, they don't have a regular pastor. The south is so different in the fact that there are so, so many churches of faiths I never heard of. Faiths that speak in tongues and such and I am middle of road Presby. We need to find another.
I am just grateful to have my faith and trust in God though at times I rant to him and ask that eternal question of WHY good people have to suffer when I know full well bad people seem so skate through life. The end is not up to me, the reasons are not up to me. My belief is up to me and we must lean upon Him to help us, yet again.
I am now off to shower and see this woman who is the support person, and survivor, for this area. Jack is adament that I not spend the entire day in the internet and go out and talk to a real person.
Yet, I can not tell you all how very much we both appreciate this support and I am thankful Jack found all of you.
I will pray for each and everyone of you and look forward to going back to read your stories and "catch up" with this board.
Just a note....even though I kept my head in the sand forever about BC, I always used my United Way dollars for BC research. That was for my grandmother and all that came after her......
Thank you all so much, what a wonderful, strong group of positive people....
Love and Hugs,
Susan
I was almost overwhelmed to read the responses so far. I think that everyone here has been great in the few days I've been here so far. It seems like yesterday, a lifetime ago, that we got the news. Kim222, seems like you were a survivor before the BC ever hit, like Susan. Good advice on letting the oncologists and surgeons do their part. One thing the surgeon says is that God works miracles through his hands. Very down to earth and grounded man. Everyone we've talked to who knows him says nothing but positive things.
Praise be to God for this support board and for the positive things we have going for us. None is more positive or important to me than reading these words:
SusanG said:
"I suppose all things for a reason and at first I was ready to throw in the towel but now I'm beginning to feel those stirrings of spirit that I had thought were gone forever."
They will get stronger, everyone I know who prays is lifting you up in prayer daily and you are probably on prayer chains you don't even know about. You will get stronger and your determination and strength will come. I will be there with you!
I am sure as the days go on, we will get to know everyone a little better as well as be lifelong ACS supporters.
I'm just speechless and so glad that you joined here, Susan. You WILL be a survivor of this! God will hear our prayers and the prayers of so many others.
Jack0 -
You two are now part of a family of survivors. God has begun using this horrible disease as a way to fill your life with blessings. It will continue and He will lift you both up and give you strenght even now when you aren't sure you have enough. That feeling will come and go thru this but He will always pull you thru. Your love and faith inspires me- Thank you for trusting us to be a part of your recovery and life. Finally, remember this no question is a dumb question!jolliff said:Susan! I am so glad to see you joined this discussion.
I was almost overwhelmed to read the responses so far. I think that everyone here has been great in the few days I've been here so far. It seems like yesterday, a lifetime ago, that we got the news. Kim222, seems like you were a survivor before the BC ever hit, like Susan. Good advice on letting the oncologists and surgeons do their part. One thing the surgeon says is that God works miracles through his hands. Very down to earth and grounded man. Everyone we've talked to who knows him says nothing but positive things.
Praise be to God for this support board and for the positive things we have going for us. None is more positive or important to me than reading these words:
SusanG said:
"I suppose all things for a reason and at first I was ready to throw in the towel but now I'm beginning to feel those stirrings of spirit that I had thought were gone forever."
They will get stronger, everyone I know who prays is lifting you up in prayer daily and you are probably on prayer chains you don't even know about. You will get stronger and your determination and strength will come. I will be there with you!
I am sure as the days go on, we will get to know everyone a little better as well as be lifelong ACS supporters.
I'm just speechless and so glad that you joined here, Susan. You WILL be a survivor of this! God will hear our prayers and the prayers of so many others.
Jack0 -
I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer in June. Mine was very aggressive. They tried twice with lumpectomy for clear margins but failed. I had to have my breast removed August 5th. I had my first chemo and my second one is coming up Tuesday the 30th of Sept.. I have done great physically. Mentally is the hardest part. You just have to take one day at a time and trust in God to take care of you and help you make the right decisions for you. Best of luck to you both.
Betty0 -
HI - I think you are talking about ductal carinoma in situ - which is what I was dx with in 2000 - I had stage 0 - very early as is your financee's stage 1. If you have to get cancer this is the one to get - as all my doctors told me - I had lumpectomy too and radiation and 5 year of Tamoxifen (hormone therapy) because my tumor was er positve (estrogen postive). Please don't worry and tell your fiancee not to worry too much - radiation was a breeze - just a minor sunburn and some fatigue. Good luck - everything will be fine, Nancy0
-
Hi All,
Prayers to all of you.
I just wanted to give all of you an update about what is happening here. Maybe you might remember we were going to see the surgeon here in this podunk town in south Georgia but I liked him. So Jack and I took all of your advice, did a ton of research and took a tape recorder with us. The session was a bit stressful but we were both much more normal and more coherent.
We ask a lot of questions and he was waffling between mast and lump. We asked him the golden question about sentinel node bx and we found out he's only done TEN on melanoma patients. That, right there finished it for me. Plus he was again saying how very difficult it would to diagnosis a cancer in this or the other breast due to to much fibrocystic tissue. Geez I just always thought I had very firm breasts but come to find out they were simply full of cysts. Cripe, I thought I was so special, NOT! Sucks sometimes, huh? LOL.
So the phone calls begin and we are exhausted from the research and calls etc. Right now I am set to fly out of here on Tuesday to NYC and will meet Wednesday with Dr. H. Cody, the lead doc in the breast cancer center and also the man who did a ton of research with sentinel node bx. Feeling overwelmed and scared like never before. As well, I will be going without my darling Jack. He has to work and his boss is well, I won't say the word. My sweet Jack has burned all of his weeks of vacation for my jaw surgeries and we wanted to save these last five days for his little girl but now we must be together for surgery.
I will be staying with my brother and sis in law. They have a large home and a 2 year old. I can get away three flights up to be in peace if necessary.. Mom and Daddy will be coming up and Jack will fly up as soon as surgery is set. Maybe they will review it all and let me come home for a couple of weeks and then Jack and I can fly back together. We have not been apart at all for at least a year if not more. Though I love my family beyond compare Jack is my strength and my rock and all that good stuff. With the two of us together we can weather any storm. I will miss him so so much it makes me want to cry.
At least I am going to one of the very top centers in this country. I do not have to worry about getting here or there, no logistics it will all be taken care of. I'm sort of hoping they review it all and schedule me within a week so Jack can get there and we can get this done and move on to the next part. Praying for no lymph nodes, class one and or a little worse class two. Clear margins and Jack. We are going to plan our little wedding too while this is going on. I sure hope they give me a private room because Jack is adament that he is camping out and will not leave me for one moment. This man is worth all of those horrible years with liar. This man is the reason why I suffered. We just need some peace and health and enjoy his little wee one. She is such a blessig and his ex has been nothing but supportive, I thank her too!
Have any of you had this type of ductal invasive breast cancer and elected mast or maybe even double mast and did not have to have any ongoing treatment? I think I read that somewhere.
Regardless we are in great hands now and Jack even took the tape and copied it to CD for Sloan, Dad and bro. Also, the boys, lol, have taken all the alimony crap over and I have no clue what they are up to but I am not to think about it or know.
I am also planning on going to the medical assistance place tomorrow. Though I have always been too proud and always worked well not it's time to get real and get some help that I have paid into for 30 years. Every little bit helps.
Also, I have to run around tomorrow and get the films and path stuff (hope they don't damage it going through the detectors! I also have to fax all the reports from the last like 4 or five years as well as the path report etc. And right now I am due for my period on next Monday which should make this exam just tooooo painful, but I'll deal. I just want to be normal and better and be here to marry Jack and watch the wee one grow to a lovely woman. She's just too cool and fun now. Yet another blessing!
So what do I need to pack for this business and how the heck cold is it up there now?????
Wishing all of you positive thoughts, many prayers and most of all great health!!!
We will get through this together and that's no lie.
Please support Jack while I am gone, ok?
Love and Hugs,
Susan0
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