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Need support! My FIL was told he is terminal

Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 2003

My father in law was diagnosed with colon cancer in May. The tumor was large so they did chemo and radiation to shrink it. In the course of all this he also had to undergo triple bypass to his heart and so it delayed his cancer surgery. Finally last week, he went in for the surgery. The doctor found that it had spread to his liver and stomach and they couldn't even remove the colon tumor. They did a colostomy and closed him up. We were told that it is terminal. They did say that they could try a more aggressive form of chemo. We are all in shock and trying to digest all of this. I know there are stories of survival of even the most advanced cases. They told us that without treatment he may have a couple of months and with treatment he could have possibly a year to a year and a half. We are clinging to that little piece of hope. I'm arming myself with as much information about chemo and other treatments so that my husband can present the doctors with questions about any possiblities of saving his Dad. Do you think this is wise or do you think that we should leave it all in the doctors hands? I guess we just feel desperate to find anything that will help him. I'm hoping to hear from anyone who can offer some insight. Good or bad. Thanks!

StacyGleaso's picture
Posts: 1249
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi Sharynann,

I'll try my best to help. First of all, the choice of chemo is a personal decision. I did it...I figured that I wouldn't be putting up a good fight if I didn't. Secondly, keep his spirits up. Nothing can make a bad situation worse than depression, or a feeling that he will be defeated.

Change his diet. Try cutting off sugars and carbohydrates which store sugar. You will learn that cancer progresses from feeding off sugar. Since he had heart surgery, I don't know if he would be a candidate for a port-a-cath if he chooses to get chemo. It will save his veins, and enable him to get the chemo easier.

Be strong, and please keep in touch. I'll definitely be sending a few extra prayers in your direction!


Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 2003

Thankyou so much for your reply. I do think that he wants to try the chemo but right now he's recovering from the colostomy. Things don't seem to be progressing as fast as we thought with that. He's been in the hospital for a week. The family has been going up every day and I think he likes that. Yesterday, I told him a couple of funny stories about my son which he got a kick out of. It's such a hard situation because we are very upbeat and positive around him and then when we are off by ourselves we cry about it. I think we are just all scared about what he may go through. This site has helped me tremendously. It's survivors like you that give us hope. I've relayed some of the stories here to some of the family to try and keep them more upbeat and positive. I told my SIL yesterday that people with stage IV can survive! Thanks so much for the encouragement and prayers.

2bhealed's picture
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001


So sorry about your FIL. Please see my reply to LBM. It may help you to know about a "terminal" boy who lived. His mother went on to write a book about it.

try www.hacres.com and www.curezone.com

radical illness may take radical measures but it may not be the way you think. There is much more out there.

"Beating Cancer with Nutrition" by Dr. Patrick Quillin is a good start.

My daughter's ballet instructor had breast cancer and did not remove the tumor but juiced and detoxed and is still going strong three years later. Dr. Day had bc and did not have conventional treatment and she lived to tell. www.drday.com She even has photos of the tumor growing out of her breast. I know you are dealing with colon not breast but these are some good examples of beating cancer.

Keep searching for answers.

peace, emily

Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 2003

Thankyou so much for your reply and your view about curing it nutritionally. I do believe in a holistic approach and have even given them the idea about maybe trying a macrobiotic diet. It's hard though because he's the one who has to want to do it and I feel that you can't do half way if you know what I mean. I just don't think him or my mother in law have the energy to worry about special diets. Actually, at this moment he isn't even eating solids. They still have his ng tube in him. He also has had trouble with alot of foods not agreeing with him. He couldn't eat a high fiber diet because he would live in the bathroom and have alot of stomach cramps. Hopefully now that he has the colostomy, it will give him some relief. Thanks again for the encouragement.

spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

Ahoy, Sharrynann -

You have heard frtom two of the best qualified voiced here. All I can add is to keep you FIL's attitude sharp and in fighting shape - it is his most important tool.

Look for "Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul" - gret stories of many people who have beat the "terminal" diagnosis.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

- SpongeBob

Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 2003

Thanks for that advice! I will look for that book. My FIL is usually a pretty positive and up beat person so he has that going for him. Right now I think he is just sick of being in the hospital. I hope things start working soon with his colostomy so that he can blow that pop stand! At least for a while. We haven't taken any of the kids up yet, so he hasn't seen the grandkids in a while, but I think he's ready so I'm taking my 13 year old up there this weekend. He's real close to his grandpa. Thanks again!

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