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Still smoking....................

Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2003

As noted in a previous post of mine, my mom was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer - unfortunately we have not yet been told what type of cancer (NSC or SC)or what level. Anyway, my mom is a smoker - I am a non smoker. My mom continues to smoke - she got the patch from the Doctor - but has yet to use it. She says she is going to quit (has been saying so for about 1 1/2 years). I try very hard not to voice my opinion on it because I realize it is her life/her choice. However, it is VERY difficult for me to watch her smoke and think of her illness. She told me the other day that she was going to try hard to quit and was going to do it for me. I do not want her to do it for me, I want her to do it for herself - to me that is the only way she will be ABLE to do it. I am just wondering if anyone can help me to understand why she chooses not to quit, how do I learn not to let it bother me so badly and how can I help her with trying to quit. I know it is a very hard habit to break - believe me I have habits I should break too and don't, - but I just feel that it would be so beneficial for her to quit. Please don't take this wrong - I am not a basher of smokers - just so concerned about mom. Thanks.

Posts: 89
Joined: Sep 2002

So sorry to hear of your mom's lung cancer. Has she started any kind of treatment yet. My husband had throat cancer due to smoking and then it metastsized to lungs and bones. He has 15 tumors in his lungs and with the radiation and chemo treatments he has been thru believe me if your mom goes thru any of these ( God's Speed) she will quit smoking, and on her own. The treatments make you sick and they do not even want to eat, not along smoke. I sure hope your mom does not have to go thru any of these treatments but she will quit when she does. You are right she has to want to quit on her own and for her. My husband's daughters have seen what he has gone thru for the past two years and they continue to smoke and in front of him but outside. So I totally understand but the difference is your mom has cancer. If I can help in any way email me mktgintl@inlandnet.net
Just keep praying to God for her to come to this decision to quit, for you, go for walks and talk on this chat line. It helps to aid you with your stress. Go on the actual chat line and see what I mean. Lots of hugs and prayers, Candy

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Posts: 91
Joined: Apr 2002

I to was a big time smoker I opened 3 pkgs. a day
when I found out I had lung cancer I continued to smoke until they told me I had a chance to live and I layed them down about a week before they removed half of my left lung (My cancer was adenocarcinoma the first time) I did not have much trouble quitting, I think I was so scared. I have often thought why didn't I quit sooner but just never had a reason I guess.My first lung cancer was in 1987 and I had it a gain in my right lung in 1991 but it was a different cancer.
( large cell carcinoma) removed a little better than a 1/4th of my right lung.
I have been fine ever since. She will lay the ciggarettes down in due time, but I can tell you it will be hard so stand by her. There is still times that I think about it and its been years.

pacisan's picture
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 2002

Hello..I guess I have to say I pretty much agree with every thing the others have said, except, I can add that I quit because I had a grandchild and I knew that my daughter wouldn't be happy with me smoking around her. As it turned out the docs told her that she (my granddaughter)had a 50% chance of asthma because her dad had it, so smoking was out. In time I even made my husband leave because not only did he continue to smoke with heart trouble, but he did it in the house knowing it could hurt the baby. Anyway, I got help (welbutrin) from my PCP and that was the thing that helped me. I quit within three weeks of starting it; but, as fate would have it, a few years later I came down with lung cancer. So...who knows. Anyway, tell your mom about the welbutrin, and let her know how much you love her and that it hurts you to see her literally shorten her time with you...in the meantime know that we are all thinking about you and her and praying for the best...

Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2003

If there is not hope- let her enjoy life- my mom still smokes at 83 and her days are limited. I smoke and i know first hand it is very hard. but if your life is limited why not enjoy what ever it is you like? My mom feels so much more comfortable around me cause I don't say anything about her smoking. I would rather her be comfortable with me at her last days.

Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2003

Hi Kimmo,

I am 3rd generation mom's dad, mom and 3rd sister to be diagnosed with lung cancer and I too still smoke. I have tried everything over the years to quit but have to admit I am extremely addicted to cigarettes, they act like a calmative when I get stressed and have that effect for many women. I have read that this effect is one of the reasons why women have a harder time quiting then men. My grandfather did not smoke. My mom and sister did and one still does. She was diagnosed and treated successfully in 1990 with a tumor wrapped arounf her heart, hense determined to be inoperable. the doctors managed to hrink it to operable with a combination of at the time experimental drugs. It was a clinical trial an dshe was the only perdon to survive the trial. She smoked all through her tratment and right after having her upper left lung removed.Even though the cancer had spead to her liver and sleen she survived. I have metastasis also to my brain and spine. This is very painful. Smiking helps me deal with the pain when it wakes me in the middle of the night, I know that sounds crazy but that is the nature of this addiction. My mom had bone metastasis that the doctors missed until after removing her right lung and said if she knew it was in her bones before surgery that she would not have had the surgery or have gone through the agony of quiting. My other sister smoked until the hour of her death, she had metastasis to her brain too and even smoked in her hospital room. She said the choking from the cigarettes helped her get air in her lungs.I spent hours doing cupped hand patting on her back to help her breath before she left this world. She was lucky enough to have a compassionate doctor who ordered a sedating shot right before she died. So even though her last hours were spent in panic, she was at last calm enough to rest and let go. Some migh think this is too much like Dr Kovorkian but it is the least a doctor can do when a person is panicking as they die. I recently purchased the Smoke Away program due to my familliarity with natural herbs. The primary herb used in this product is Lobelia, commonly known as indian tobacco and used for years as a lung expectorant. It also helps with the craving of nicotine. So far I have had 3 surgeries to remove brain tumors and after the last one decided, no more cutting my brains out.I was diagnosed Nov 6,2001 and just had my 2 year anniversary. The oncologist decided this past Janulary that I would be dead by June. I decided, they have not cut down the tree for the box to put me in and only God knows when I will reunite with my family. Like an alcoholic, a smoker must decide to quit for themself if their is to be any long term commitment to stay away from cigarettes. This is a psycological battle as well as a physical one, an ex-smoker freind of mine told me he was able to keep from picking the habit back up by convincing himself that, cigarettes were no longer made and that it would not kill him to go without them. The peer pressure and lying to ourselves gets us hooked in the first place and if it takes a little lying to yourself to quit and stay off of them then so be it.I have 3 children 2 boys, ages 11 & 9 and a beatiful 5 year old little girl. I tell myself that my kids need their mom but I also know I am weak when it comes to the addictive affect of cigarettes so I must do this for me.My sister with brain metastasis died in 28 days of diagnosis and her illogic was, what difference does it make now, the risks don' t go away for 10 years, another self lie to stick with the addiction. I know, I have said, what difference does it make now to myself but I also know my brain does not hurt as much when I am not smoking so much. I would encourage her to drink as much fresh juices and water to help flush the nicotine out of her body while she tried to quit and to not fuss at her if she has weak spells. At least she is willing to try. God Bless. I was raised catholic so I hope no one is offended by my saying God Bless you. My dad asked me to have the annointin gof the sick and being away from my faith for so long I did not realize this was the Last Rights until I went for the Blessing. I was emotionally choked up during the blessing and felt great relief having god by my side. A dear friend of mine has a wonderful parting phase when our visits end and it is ... Be good to yourself.I would like to leave this phrase for both you and your mom.

Warmest regards,
Stage IV adenocarcinoma Lung/brain/spine

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Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2004

I said I would quit smoking after they take a lung. 2001 they took my left lung out. I quit for a year then fell right back into it. I truely want to quit but the marlboro man got to me when I was eight years old. It gives my hand something to do. I can come up with thousands of reasons why I smoke and none that make me stop. I just lost two sister six weeks apart and my dad two months after that to cancer. Besides lung cancer I had a Historectomy because of cancer then a lump removed on the lip of my vaginal area. Now were they removed the lung the lymph nodes are swollen and they want to do a bi-opsy I opted to have a ct scan every three months in stead till it gets worse. I guess I am trying to say that when you are ready to quit you will but how far do you go before you have to.

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