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Support for gays, straights, any direction

lneuma1's picture
Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2003


Hang in there.

You're wasted now, but let me give you a bit of advice: Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and "keepin' on."

Your quote: "One day at a time" is it. Sometimes it needs to be even shorter...one foot in front of the other. I finished a 60-mile walk for breast cancer the month before I was diagnosed with breast cancer myself, and the way I got through chemo was to remember back to how hard it was to complete that looong, hard walk.
1.) Forget how many miles you did yesterday.
2.) Don't look at how far you have to go or the hills ahead of you tomorrow,.
3.) Focus on today and simply putting one foot in front of the other.

it works.

You WILL get to the finish line and feel better. This thing WILL be over then, and you can look back and reflect.

I am praying for your strength and your partner's healing.

P.S. Look at her and tell her she's beautiful once in awhile. I needed to hear that in my baldie state, even though I felt completely ugly and shriveled. I held onto the notion that I was in Pupae state (after the caterpillar state), waiting to be reborn as a butterfly.

11:10 AM PDT So sorry [reply]

I can't believe it! By pressing on the wrong key I deleted ALL the messages that were in this discussion group and now NO ONE can see them. YIKES! Please forgive me, and come on in and let's start again.


09:22 AM PDT Re: So sorry [reply]

Hello, My partner is going thru Chemo for Uterine sarcoma 5 days straight with 2 weeks off. She is about to have her 4th treatment. I am the primary caregiver and it is really hard to keep myself going. I have to miss days from work and that means a very small pay day. One day at a time works for us, along with prayers.

Posts: 11
Joined: Apr 2002

My partner of 25 years is a parotid cancer survivor. He was diagnosed January 2002, completed two surgeries, removal of part of his jaw, mastoid and lots of facial tissue. He also underwent six rough weeks of radiation and eight months of chemotherapy. He was hospitalized twice while recieve chemo due to the severe side affects. He completed his last chemo February 2003. He is scheduled to undergo some re-constructive surgery July 1.

As a gay couple we've found great support through Karmanos Cancer Center in Detroit and Gilda's House in Royal Oak, MI. Gilda's offers both a Gay/Lesbian/Bi/transgender groups as well as a partners groups and a head and neck group. The gay community center in our area is thinking of starting a cancer group, if you're any where near a Gilda's club, please check them out. I've also attended caregive support meetings at the cancer center and have always felt welcome.

The doctors, nurses and staff at Karmanos Cancer Center have been wonderful. I went with him to every oncology visit, was with him in recovery and ICU and was never questioned who I was.

Just keep on going--some days you'll feel like it will never end. Take advantage of your friends and neighbors. If some asks what they can do, tell them to run an errand, cook a meal, take your partner to treatment, etc. They wouldn't ask if they didn't want to help.

Fortunate for us, I was able to use FMLA at work and my partner was approved almost immediately for long term disability. He's back to work and he's having a harder time getting off long term disability than he had getting on it. He's contacted social security several times and the checks are still coming.

In the last couple months he's grown eyebrows, eyelashes and hair, and I can see the transformation. It all takes time, and I tell myself that I need to be patient all the time.

Please hang in there, I'm not a religious person, but I've found support in the Higher Power that has come forth from stangers, friends and family alike.

To add to my caregiver responsibilities, my mother is having a lumpectomy this friday to be followed by radiation. She doesn't drive, I just received a call from a friend this morning asking what she could do. I told her she could drive my mom to radiation and she was more than happy to. So don't be too shy to ask when someone volunteers.

My best to you and your partner! Just keep taking "one day at a time".

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2004

Hello, does anyone know of any chat rooms or support areas for young gay men concerning prostate cancer?

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