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Trying to learn to cope again

Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2003

I am 8 years 3 months out from extensive breast cancer, found out that I have bone metastasis, in my spine, both hips, sternum, shoulder and one leg. How do you learn to take time for you and care for yourself when you have been taking care of everyone else? To deal with the pain in your hips and back and not being able to walk very far and learning how to depend on others without feeling you are a burden? Any help would be appreciated. It is nice to know that we are not alone.

Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2003

Dear Betty - This must be such a terribly difficult time for you. I guess the only way to take time for yourself is just to do it. It must tough to ask for help when you are the one who has always done for everyone else. I'll bet many people in your life will jump at the opportunity to help you. Did you have alot of treatment when you were originally diagnosed 8+ years ago? Hopefully, your doctor will be able to help you now as he/she did then. Are you on medication now that helps you manage the pain? Lots of people will be praying for you and looking for your postings to see that you are managing well. Take care.

Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2003

I can't imagine what you are going through. I am 43 and I am a breast cancer survivor. I know how tough it can be sometimes to change roles. But give yourself a break and don't be afraid to ask for help. If have not already ask your doctor about the Duragesic pain patch. It helps me. God Bless and if you would like to talk further my e-mail address is lagfwstroke@yahoo.com

Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2003

hi what is the Duragestis Patch - I have unbearable pain in hip- walking is becomming difficult and no sitting on left cheek thanks Eva

Posts: 931
Joined: Oct 2000

Hi! The Duragisic Patch is a long lasting pain relieving patch used in people with intractable pain. The body usually tolerates it very well. HUGS!! Cathy

Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2003

I too have bc and mets. I've been battling this disease for eight years as well. The pain will go away with radiation and pain killers. Don't forget your belief in God and you will be self sufficient again. I did it. But my main concerns as well as yours are that I have become a burden to those I love. I forgot how to be a woman. How to feel beautiful and feel desire. This is what I do not know how to get around. To me being a mom is easier than being a wife.

Posts: 85
Joined: Mar 2003

I am in the middle of chemotherapy and have been struggling with asking for help and not being a burden and your note reminded me of what a gift my mother gave to my sisters and brothers and I as she was dealing with (and eventually dying of) ovarian cancer. Every time we drove her to treatment or brought over meals we slowed down and remembered what was important and got out of our high paced focus on accomplishing things. We all remembered that time as being really special and important for us to learn something about what's important. It wouldn't have been the same had she hired someone to take care of things she couldn't take care of. WE really appreciated the gift of being able to take care of her after she had done some much for us. Maybe that memory will help me as I struggle with "not wanting to be a burden" and maybe it will help you. My prayers are with you.

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