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Mom recently diagnosed with breast cancer.

Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2003

My mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent a lumpectomy two days ago, and will start chemo in about three weeks followed by radiation. I am an only child and very close to my mom. I am terrified of losing her. Can anyone offer some advice on how to cope?

Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2003

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. My mother passed away last August and she fought breast cancer for 8 years. This is what she and I learned on how to cope. First, share your feelings with your Mom. Allow her to talk with you about how she is feeling. When she gives you the answer of fine, please ask again and then she might really share. My Mom always said that she was good. I would look at her and smile and say "Mom, it's me..how are you feeling today?" Many times she would then answer that she was tired or not feeling good. We could then go from there to try to help her feel better. My Mom and I started to make each time that we were together a "memory" instead of letting each day just go by. Prayer helped us a lot. Cry with each other, remember that laughter will help. Don't let the cancer control your lives. She can increase her chances of beating the cancer if she keeps a strong spirit and a determination to fight. The chemo sucks. I went with Mom for the first treatments and held her hand. Your Mom's food cravings will change. My Mom stopped liking chocolate because it lost its flavor. However, some of that will come back after she is done with the chemo. She loved spicy foods because that broke through the "metal" taste that she had in her mouth. Just hug her and love her. I do have a brother but Mom and I were/are best friends but now she is in Heaven. Again, share your feelings with her and allow her to lean on you. I hope this brings you some comfort.

Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2003

I'm sorry about your mom, and know what you mean about being afraid to lose her. When my mom was diagnosed with throat cancer, she wanted to be strong and not accept help. I found that being honest-- (for example, when she was exhausted from radiation) was the best. I might say, "you know, this is really the pits" or something like that, and that allowed her to talk about her feelings. The truth; good, bad or ugly brought us closer. Also, I kept telling her that she was in charge and she could do whatever she wanted in terms of her treatment and that I would fight for what she wanted. As she is 88, that remains a big issue for her.

Posts: 3
Joined: May 2003

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I truly understand where you are coming from. All I can say is never give up hope. My mother had breast cancer 7 years ago, and has been cancer free for 5 years now.

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