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Dealing with not being able to eat

Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2002

Six years ago my wife was diagnosed with her second bout of oral cancer (never smoked; drank sparingly). Little did we know that her last meal before the surgery was the last solid meal that she is likely to ever have. This has obviously been a huge struggle for her, especially considering that so much of human interchange is based on eating. I am looking for folks in similar situations to exchange support.

phattpig's picture
Posts: 29
Joined: Apr 2002

jklane, it has been two and a half years since I had a solid meal. I have been living on thin potato soup, tomato soup and boost. For a while I could swallow the soups, but that function has just about gone now. Yes I know about the exchangex over food. Personally I find it funny when people that have seen everything I have gone through ask me if I want something to eat, I always say YES!!!!! What I would really like right now is a big double meat cheese burger, an order of chili-cheese fries, and a thick chocolate shake. Please feel free to email me if you wnat to talk some more.

Good luck,

Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2002

I can certainly understand the feelings of awkwardness as I have struggled with eating difficulty due to my cancer and treatment four years ago. I remember the feelings of dread and panic when put into social eating atmospheres. Good news though....once through all the grieving and what if's and pain management and anger, you know, the normal "post traumatic stress" stuff...(mine took 4 years, which wasn't all that long ago, so don't rush her, just be there and listen) anyway, you re-evaluate your priorties in life and suddenly it becomes not such a big deal. Tell her to give it time...tell her she is still the one you want...tell her it's alright to get angry, sad, resentful, self-pity, tired, happy, overjoyed, revived, and then do it all again as many times as it takes to get it out of her system, and that you'll be their waiting for who ever emerges from this metamorphisys with open arms. Then my friend, hold on for the ride of your life!......Peace,love,and happiness to you both and feel free to e-mail......Gidge

Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2004

I have not been able to eat since July 2003 and I struggle with it everyday--sometimes I think I can and I try and of course realize quickly that nope I can't eat--how is your wife doing with it now

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