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I Have Missed Everyone

Posts: 76
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi everyone:

I am back on-line. I really missed everyone. I really feel horrible about Wendy. My husband and I both cried when I read her husband's message. Does anyone have a mailing address? I would like to send a card. We really never know what might happen with surgery.

I am having a difficult time getting back to myself. Things are just progressing slower than I like. A week after the colon surgery I started having SEVERE PAIN behind my ribcage (back). My regular painkillers weren't touching the pain, and the pain was off the pain scale. My doctors don't feel that it is kidney, lung or heart related. They think that it is related to bone mets. I am scheduled for my regular bonescan on April 15 and then we should know what's happening. Sometimes I have muscle spasms on my chest from the bilateral and I thought maybe it was related to the spasms, but my doctors don't think that is it. Regardless, since Easter I have been at peace with the whole situation. I am no longer worried and know that we will change the chemo if necessary.

The only surprise that we got with the surgery was that the surgeon found lesions on my esophogus (sp).

My mother's colon surgery went well. The tumor did not penetrate all the way through the wall. All pelvic and lymph biopsies came back clear. It is also a new cancer so that also improves her prognosis. Chemo is optional and they are planning to go ahead with it. The scary thing is that she had a minor hear attack a week after the surgery. They say that plaque was knocked loose and caused the 90% blockage of one of the major arteries. However, they don't believe that it was related to her surgery. They believe that it is related more to the fact that she has been a diabetic since age 2. I am a little worried about her chemo decision since the heart attack. However, my step-father is determined that she will have the chemo. So I am just going to pray that things continue to go well. My husband and I were able to visit with her in the hospital after the colon surgery and then after the heart attack. She is in such good physical shape. No one would ever believe she has been through any of this. In fact she is getting around much better than I am. We are still amazed. Hopefully, my stepfather will change and I will be able to continue to contact my mother. I didn't realize how much I had missed her until I got to see her in the hospital. Although my mother has been able to break the parental bond, it is impossible for me. The sad thing is that she didn't want me to even contact my brother about any of this. She had totally cut off contact with him. However, after the heart attack I felt that I had to let him know. I just pray that she will be open to some contact with him. It amazes me how much my stepfather is able to control her.

I apologize for the rambling, it has been an unbelievable few weeks. When is everyone meeting in the chat room? I would love to join you. I can't believe all of the new faces in such a short time. It is really scary how the numbers just continue to increase.

Well, the dogwood trees are blooming in the backyard. It is really beautiful. We are back to cold weather, but I am looking forward to Spring warmth. I am ready to start gardening.

I really did miss everyone. Thank you for all of the prayers! Remember: we must continue our fight for Tiger and Wendy!!

Love, hugs, and prayers!


P.S. Are you having trouble getting on to the site. I didn't think that I would ever be able to get on, much less post.

Posts: 173
Joined: Mar 2001

Hi Kat,

Welcome back. So good to hear from you again. Take life easy. I hope they find the cause of your pain soon. I'm also glad you got to visit your mother. That is a bond that cannot be easily broken. Keep trying to keep the communication lines open. And remember, it is not your fault, if things fail, you are doing all you can. God will reward your efforts.

Yes, this morning, Thursday, I couldn't get on the site. Kept getting an error message and then when I did get on, it lost my message, so here I am again, trying.

God Bless,

Posts: 99
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi Kat,
My name is Carlye and I am a newbie to this group but I really enjoy it. I am 37 with BC and four kids ages 11, 9 and twin 4 year olds. I have done 6 rounds of ac, now doing rads and then back for taxol then maybe herceptin. It is nice to meet you and I really hope they can ease your pain soon!! Just know you will be in my thoughts and prayers and your family as well!

Posts: 1416
Joined: Mar 2001

Welcome back Kat. I am sorry your news isn't the brightest. I can only hope that your pain will be controlled and soon. It isn't any fun spending the days in pain. You and that husband of your's are really something. Your mother is one lucky woman to have your attention when you have so many other things on your plates. But your right about fighting on for Tiger and Wendy they are with us every step of the way.
Hope to catch up to you in chat one day soon.
Glad to see you're back,

pamtriggs's picture
Posts: 407
Joined: Sep 2000

Missed you too, Kat. Good to have you back even if the news is not good. Still you have made contact with mother again which has to be a +. Try not to let her husband keep you out of her life again. She will one day remove the scales & see what he has done to her. Just be there for her. How you cope I do not know. You are stronger than I could be I know. I am sorry about the pain. Know where you are coming from with that. Have they put you on a slow release morphine plan. It stops the pain from reaching that can't cope point & you can't heal when you are in too much pain. Sounds to me like there are bone mets there to cause that much pain. Believe me I know what they feel like but if it is it is controllable. Sending you love & hope KAt.
Love & hugs

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