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my father, my friend, is weakening

Posts: 10
Joined: Jul 2001


My father is 6months into his battle with Lung cancer and in the last month he has really taken a turn for the worst. I am still strong, but I am getting a little scared. He is now officially a man with cancer. Before he had cancer, but acted mostly normal. Now he naps often feels terrible and is losing weight quickly. He is currently taking chemo treatments, but he is quickly declining. It is so hard to watch the man you admire and respect be so sick. I wish I had a miracle cure or the crystal ball that would tell me the future. I still pray daily for a miracle. My sister is having her first baby in July and I pray my father will see it come into the world. I was lucky enough to have my father there forthe birth of both my children. I guess I would love to hear how anyone out there copes with their loved ones take a turn for the worst. I love my father and he is my rock, I just hate watching him turn to sand. We find out next week after his cat scan to see if it has spread further than the lung and hip. Send a prayer up that he is maintaining and who knows maybe shrinking. I hope there is a miracle out there for all of us!!

Beating Cancer,

pdtycz's picture
Posts: 9
Joined: Nov 2000

Sherri -

I ask you to read this as a ray of hope. When I was diagnosed my oncologist told my wife he would just about have to kill me to cure me. This he did successfully 14 years ago.

Your father may be exhibiting the side effects of his chemo and radiation treatments. Both often produce a lethargy in the patient, a loss of appetite due to nausea, and of course a loss of weight due to loss of appetite. Hopefully what you are seeing are the signs of treatments working.

Continue with the prayers, the best medicine adjunctive to traditional medicine, coontinue to insist he eat ANYTHING and as often as possible, and love him and help him the best you can.

Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2002

I really needed that - my father sounds exactly like Sherri's - he is so very weak adn tired - he has been under treatmetn since October, first radiation adn concurrent chemo, now he is on gemzar becasue they found two lymph nodes that have the same cancer as the lung, but they are in his belly. We get results of the ct scan tomorrow. I have been crying myself to sleep every night. Kathy

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2002

This will help, I hope. I am a 75 year old with lung cancer that spread to my hip. Very much like your Dad. I was diagnosed in July 2001. I underwent both radiation and chemotherapy to treat the basic lung/hip cancer. They were eliminated. Now I am undergoing chemo to treat the continued spreading.
Now, your part. It is tough on you but the main thing your Dad needs is a solid support base, full of love caring and sharing. You already knew that, so what's new?? Believe it or not, the most important thing is to make him feel needed not sick, as if nothing is wrong.
How?? Create small jobs, chores and projects, then ask for his help as if you cannot do it without him. We parents are funny that way, we never give up wanting to help our children, so we forget whatever troubles we have and we concentrate on the children. Wonderful therapy and support for both of you.
When we, he, has a goal then there is an even stronger positive attitude toward survival. He can do it and with your support he will survive. I have and am, so try it.
Someway, anyway, give him that positive attitude, that desire to achieve a goal to be a helpful and needed parent.
My best wishes and support. Maybe he would like to write to me. What the heck, anything can help, maybe exchanging thoughts with a Dad in a similar situation can help. We will form our own private 2 man suport group. We each have a family, so add another "family".
I am not sure how you get my e-mail address for a direct message but I will see if there is a way and let you know. You look too.

Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2002

It was so good to read your message. My Dad is 72 and was also diagnosed in July 2001. I am so afraid to lose him.
I often have trouble thinking of what to say to him when I am with him because I am worried that he will know how scared I am. I just today brought him a huge stack of college information to go through for my daughter (whom he adores) I asked him genuinely to help direct her course. I might try to get him to write to you although he seldom uses the computer any more. I will pray for you.

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