doctors bedside manner

stango Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Does anyone else find it frustrating trying to get information out of the various doctors caring for the person in your life who has cancer? I have found that the doctor's are not helpful, they are extremely vague, they give only short non-informational answers. I have also found that they do not return phone calls and that they have been leaving a lot of the care decision to the patient, even after being told,it's not a good idea. I'm having a really hard time with my mother's oncologist. She tells me nothing, I have to beg for information and she does not return my calls. I have not idea how my mother is doing under her treatment plan, I have no idea what her true future will be. Please someone - tell me you are going through the same thing - I am considering either filing a complaint or changing doctors or both. the only thing is that my mother has had this doctor all along so I know she would never want to change. I just can't seem to get them to include me in this whole process.


  • angewalt
    angewalt Member Posts: 8
    I have run into the same problem all my husbands doctor says is ahuh ahuh mmmm. That gets very annoying. When I had to talk to the on call Dr after hours I got the same response. I have found that if you talk to the nurses it helps out a lot. They know more about them than the Dr does. Try asking her nurse about her that should help.
    I hope eveery thing works out I know it can be fustrating.

  • mariac
    mariac Member Posts: 4
    I am going through the same thing with my mom. he doctors and nurses absolutley hate me there because i give them hell and you have to as well. We're 1/2 way through with the chemo and there were so many mistakes on the doctors part that its unbeleivable. For instance, he decided after I called him all weekend that he would have to reduce the chemo by 25% b/c it was too tough on the next chemo I casually asked the nurse and it was the same order as the 1st one, 100%. I was so pissed, it could have killed her. After so many mistakes I wanted to change doctors as well...but guess what. he's the head of the breast cancer oncology! Anyways, he's so "great" that he's away alot in other countries so we get a another doctor who is decent. You have to be on their **** all the time...Is the treatment almost over?
  • mamacitadice
    mamacitadice Member Posts: 4
    stango ,the first thing I would suggest is to ask your mom to fill out a health care proxy.This would give you the power you need to get information from all the health caregivers on your moms case.And if the day comes when your mom can't make decisions for herself you can.
    As for her future most Doctors will not give an answer to the question how long do we have. When the Docs office doesnot return your calls make a pest of yourself or go to the office and tell them their phone might be out of order. Last but not least ghange docs and let it be known to the present doc that you will be looking for a second opinion filing a complaint will not get you very far I am sorry to say.Explain to your Mom that you are looking for the doc that got a 100% on his test about cancer not an 80%. I was in your very foot steps with my mom in law and had to use all the above. She agreed to another doc we had her for a year and it was a wonderful year that started out badly