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Someone please help me feel better

Posts: 39
Joined: Mar 2001

Hi everyone, I just finished my second round of FAC, 6 round of chemo. We can't pay our bills. My husband had a stroke last week. He is now off work indefinately. I am so sick. The babies do not understand and I just don't know how much more I can take. I can't possible take care of my husband, my babies and me. Please someone tell me what to do.

Posts: 243
Joined: Jun 2001

Hi Tracy,
This is the time to reach out to any and all around you that love you...family, friends, even your husband's co-workers, social worker from your hospital...and especially God. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed we don't know where to turn because we can't see anything except the immediate event. I was not used to receiving love...I could give it without problem...babysitting when needed, providing meals or transportation for someone, or just an ear if it was needed. When I got sick, God had to teach me how to be a receiver. It meant I had to admit I was vulnerable and not in control anymore. I couldn't believe how many people wanted to help me. The outpouring of love was incredible. I am still learning how to accept it without condition, but when I do, it is so comforting. Reach out to the ones God has surrounded you with and accept their help. Sometimes we even have to ask for help. Take that step. It'll lift an incredible load off your shoulders when you share the burden with someone else. If you want to e-mail me with any thoughts or questions, please feel free. We all care about what happens and we're always here. I'll be praying for you daily.
Love, Jayne

Posts: 81
Joined: Jun 2001

I know that things are tough right now. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Turn to your friends and family. That is what they are here for. My community has given us such support that it has been unreal. They started a fundraiser for us, one of my friends is having a bake sale for me, our church has helped us in so many ways. Just don't be afraid to say I need help. Put your trust in the Lord and he will help you through this rough time in your life. PLease let me know if there is anything else I can do for you. E-mail me at my home address if you need to cmlamm@netins.net. Even if you just need to talk! Please don't give up hope, it will get better. God Bless you! Carrie

Posts: 682
Joined: Feb 2001

Dear Tracy,

You need the help of a social worker at MD Anderson. Everybody doesn't have the kind of amazing community that Carrie lives in, but I remember that in your first messages on this network, you mentioned helpful people in your life. Hopefully they are still around.

It is hard to ask for help - I always found it to be so - but some people will come through for you. You should be able,through a social worker,to get some help with the house and babies and finances.

Try to remember that in the beginning of problems - ex. your husband's health now - things always seems bleakest.

Praying for you and you can write me anytime. Wish I were nearer but on other end here in NY state.

Love and prayers and a big comforting hug, Jean

Posts: 335
Joined: Aug 2000

Hi Tracy, My heart just breaks for you. I can not help you in a physical way, but if words can help, I am always here to listen. I went back to read your web page and saw that you wrote,"I can't believe how many people care about me." I hope there are friends and family to help you right now. Ask for the help you need. Many are hesitant to offer help but very happy to pitch in when they are asked. There is no easy answer to your situation. Do you attend church? Sometimes the church can help or at the very least, your pastor can listen and give advice. Can your husband draw temporary disability insurance to help pay your bills? Check with your state office and see if this is available to you. Your pastor may be able to guide you to the proper resources. I don't think I have said anything to make you feel better, I wish I could wish away all your problems. Know that I care and I will talk to GOD about you tonight. Sending you love, Nancy

tcbangels's picture
Posts: 114
Joined: Jun 2001

my prayers are with you darling!!! Heh when i got sick 6yrs ago we didnt have to much money had to drive 2 hr drive to dr office my family all got together & gave usa benefit local dept stores donated items and plus they had a barbecue all kinds of things than everybody bought a big item and raffle it off and took chances on items they brought us like 1,200 dollares was a big help.also need to see in your area is call a provider were they come in and help clean your home plus help whose in need to give baths and etc. check your local ares for some kind of help!your area churches would probably help even on bringing you to doct or husband to dr girl my heart is at you right now will see if i can find something out to help you.I DONT have no money to help but i do my best to find some kind of heklp[ for you let me know where your area
O my dear Heavenlt Father I ask you in the name of Jesus our Lord andSAVIOR put your hand on this family now dear Lord they need your healing touch from heaven above dear lord help this family to find some kind of help for this family Lord touch them now Lord in Jesus name I pray Amen!!
we all are praying for you gal

Posts: 1416
Joined: Mar 2001

Dearest Tracy,
I know this seems all so overwhelming right now. My prayers are with you and your family. Hang in there Tracy.
Now you must rely on others to help you get through. That isn't easy for any of us. All I can say is things will get better. It all seems rather hopeless now but everything will work out you will see. You hug that husband and your babies real tight and know that you will all be taken care of. All your problems and worries will work out in time, they will be there when you have the energy for it all. Take some time to catch your breath and remember all you have to be thankful for. Hard to see now but you will.
Thinking of you all the time.
If you want to meet for a chat sometime just let me know a good time.
Your friend,

Posts: 29
Joined: May 2001

It takes a brave person to write and ask for help. I discovered people want to help, but don't know what to do. We have to ask for what we need, and that can be very difficult at first. During my first cancer, I didn't ask for anything from anybody, and was miserable the whole time. After my second cancer, I knew to ask for minimal things. With my THIRD cancer, and was asking for people to accompany me to doctors becuase I did not want to go alone. Keep in mind, when you get well, you will want to help someone who has their own needs.
Some possible places to help?
Try your local American Cancer Society. They might be able to pooint you in the right direction.

Make a call to your minister, or a local church, and speak to the minister. That is what they do. You need help.

If your children are school age, the school nurse might be able to give assistance. I know our PTA does a local outreach.

Above all, let people in. You need help, as we all do, to heal and be able to take care of our families again.

I will say a prayer for you.


tcbangels's picture
Posts: 114
Joined: Jun 2001

if you need to talk girl email me at my email address its tcbangels@3@yahoo.com or tcbangels@ih2000.net email at either address i have a club as well in yahoo i went in every site i was in posted your family ordeal
hang in there i know we went through same thing there was no money hard to pay bills
tcbangels cheryl

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