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my grandmother is dieing

Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2001

my grandmother have breast cancer that has spread to her lungs and brain.i am watching her literally waste away.she is the last grandparent i have left.she is like a mother to me.we are so close and it is tearing me apart to see her dieing.she lives in virginia and i live in new jersey and i see her a least twice a month.i talked to her on the phone on weekends until she had a stroke in may.this is killing me!!!!when i go see her now she smiles at me but she can't talk,and i know she knows who i am.her mind comes and goes.but whether she understands or not i still tell her i love her dearly.i know she loves me because she told me one day after she had her stroke.it took all her strength to say it because of the paralasis to her mouth but she did it.so i feel she do know i love her but it is just so hard to see her.when i am there in virginia i leave the room when i know iam getting ready to cry.she whispers in a low voice " whats wrong" and i tell her nothing is wrong and that i just love her so much and hate that she is sick.then she uses her good hand to motion me to come closer to her and she kisses me on the face.oh this just makes me cry.i'm crying right now.

marcy's picture
Posts: 58
Joined: Dec 2000

I am so sorry about your grandmother. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love so much so sick. My daddy passed away this past June 9th from complications due to chemo. (He had lung cancer..but was in remission) Anyway...it is horrible to feel so helpless. I can feel your pain as mine has not left yet. Please know that most of us here feel the same feelings. Our prayers and thoughts are with you during this very difficult time. Please continue telling your grandmother how much you love her. If, and when, God decides to take her...try to accept and know she will not feel pain again.
Bless you and your family.

Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2000

You are doing the right thing by seeing her as often as you can, and telling her always how much you love her. It sounds like she is as blessed in her granddaughter as you are in her. I must be so very hard.
I lost my last grandmother, with whom I had also been close, just a few years ago, but I lost her to Alzheimers. Now I am watching my mother die from advanced colon cancer--her liver is now more than 90% cancer, and it's everywhere--and is just horrible. Seeing someone you love so much die is one of the worst experiences life can offer you.
Please take comfort in the fact that your grandmother knows how much you love her--believe me, she does--and you are making her last days (months, whatever) easier to bear.
I'm sending you a virtual hug--a good strong, long one.
(p.s. sometimes crying is appropriate and even helpful)

Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2001

my grandfather died of colon cancer about 6 years ago. it was slow death. He went from walkin treatments in the hospital to full time hospice care in his home. there we times at the end where he would be "gardening" in his mind...and then he would be "shaving"...it was all make believe. Whenever i would go to visit him...i would tell him i loved him, but it never seemed to do any good. I wasnt there when he finally died...but his three children were (my mother is on of three)...my grandfather was in a bad state at this point...but he new that there was a lot of love in the room and that he knew it was okay to go.
although it may not seem like you do much...every litte thing counts...they know there is a lot of love around. believe me they know.
i am only 20 and i have had cancer...my parents were extremely supportive during that time...i may not have know what was going on all the time...but i knew they loved me and that not matter what happened they would always be there.
i hope this helps u cope with your hardship...


ps- i cried while reading your story and while writing mine...

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