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bored and cant sleep

Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

Hi Ladies, well I took my decadron at 8:30 pm and I have more to take at 2:30 am, in order to be prepared for my chemo tomorrow. It is 1:30 am and I cant sleep. The decadron makes me spinny and sweaty. I am tired but cant sleep, tossing and turning. Ugh! I am so hot, I took off my nightshirt and put on my husbands t-shirt and am a little more comfy.It is raining like crazy and thundering and lightening. I love it. We have a skylight in our kitchen and you can sit on the couch and watch the sky light up.
I did all my housework tonight so my husband would not have to do anything this week while I am vegging on the couch. He can make the meals and run the dishwasher.Maybe vacum too. I cant wait to get out early in May and start getting my flowergardens dug out. I love lots of color in the yard, it is so pleasent and relaxing to look at.
We would like to extend our small deck length wise about another eight feet, and put a nice patio set on it, with an umbrella to keep me out of the sun. Have your onco's told you to stay out of the sun during chemo? Mine did, and I cant handle the sun anymore anyway. I sat outside today and watched my littlest guy on his bike, but after about 15 minutes of sun I had to come in, I was getting sick to my stomache.
Hopefully we have a nice summer, it is usually hot as hell and humid. I like a nice soft wind blowing to take some of the heat away. spf 45 for my kids and myself!! No tanning anymore!!
Well I am not going to say that this is my last chemo, because everytime I do, he slaps me with more!! And I am not going to say I hope that I can look into my reconstruction yet, because I always get dissappointed, so if I keep my mouth shut,maybe i will get lucky!!
My husband was joking with a friend of his tonight, We live in a modular home on the base here, very nice, despite what most people think about "trailers" Dave was saying he had to go in for a filling to be redone, blah blah, and then he said that he is getting to the age where he should just have them all pulled and get plates. I said"but you are only 33 years old!!" He said yeah, he wants to be able to take his teeth out,wear 'Depends' and let his belly hang over his pyjama pants while he sits outside scratching himself. Then we could be real trailer trash!!! He just cant wait for the day I have to clean his shitty behind!!
I just got one kid out of diapers, and now my husband wants to get into them!!!!!
What a zoo we have here!!Our new kitten is doing well, his favorite chew toy is the dogs hind foot. But the dog just lays there and looks at him. We did loose one of our fish, he was sick for awhile and the other day he was floating upside down in the tank, so we took that as a sign that he was pooped. I gave him a burial in a plastic bag into our trash can outside.
Wow, 1:46 am, just about time to take somemore "I cant sleep pills" That's ok, once they get the benadryl and ativan into me, I usually get tongue tied and fall asleep for a few hours. I can always tell when it hits me, I will open my mouth to say something, but I just blurb, like I am really really drunk!! I had a glass of wine on Easter, and damn it was good!! I am a big water drinker, they say that it helps to loose weight and fill you up so you dont eat as much, yeah, right!!! That is a crock!! Maybe after the Taxol has run itself out of my system, I will start to drop a few lbs.
Well, I am still not getting sleepy, but I imagine I put you all to sleep by now!!!
I will sign off and prowl around the house for a little while.
you all take care.
Many hugs from Tiger

sueholm's picture
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2000

Hi tiger..I was just busy reading posts, when yours popped on, so i quickly went to chat hoping yu would see, but yu didnt. there doesnt seem to be any way of getting your attention, or am i missing something....I enjoyed your stories, about the fish that was pooped, and that you burried in the trash can, but i am sorry yu have been up so long not able to sleep
I dont have any funny stories tonight, but I do have the news that my radiation will start next monday...finally, after a five week delay...and i see my surgeon on friday which is good because maybe she has some other ideas about how to get this thing i have cleared up. It worries me that i will find the four hours on the bus each day for radiation just too much on top of this pain. Sometimes I think i am maybe just being a wimp, but i havent been all my life, so there was no reason to start now! I am better, but not much.
I am also a keen gardener, and am dismayed that i am being held up with that, but i did talk my son into doing some work out there today. I am one of these people who just LOVES to weed, and then, when all my flowers are in bloom i can sit for hours in my swing watching them!
Did yu see that Suzanne Somers is forgoing chemo in favour of a treatment involving misltetoe? this worries the medical community as others get influenced by someone like that. but maybe she didnt really require chemo in the first place...
I'm rambling now, so I will close, finish my tea, and go to bed myself. Love Susan

Posts: 335
Joined: Aug 2000

Hi you two, both night owls...I saw Suzanne Sommers on TV and she will be on Larry King again tonight. She had liposuction for edema caused by the radiation?????? Thats a new one. I think she is risking a lot, refusing standard treatment. I would love to chat with you and Tiger. Lets agree to meet in the chat one evening. You set the time. I am on CST here in the midwest. Love to you both, Nancy

Posts: 31
Joined: Apr 2001

I will keep you in my thoughts today and pray that this truly will be your last treatment....

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2001

Tiger, Please check with your onco b-4 you dig in the garden. Mine would not let me, last year, during chemo. he was afraid I might get a cut/nick/scrape that would become infected. With my white counts going crazy, he was afraid I would not beable to fight off the infection. The good news, I now have a more "cottage" garden look, with the strongest plants flowering like crazy.

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