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Joined: Apr 2001

April 22 is the day my best friend died of ovarian cancer. This is the first anniversary of her dying and it certainly is a difficult time. Oh, there have been many first anniversaries during this year, first week, first month, etc. Last year on April 7th Sharon was told to go home and get her affairs in order. She was given about 4 months. She died 15 days later. It was very hard as I took care of her the first time her cancer showed up and this time also. I tried everything to help her. I was on the internet almost nightly trying to find ways to "cure" her. She died before I could research shark cartilege. Maybe that would have done the job of healing. Sunday will mark the end of my first year without my best friend. I've read a lot these past few days. I read "The Courage to Laugh", a few other books that said humor is important. One book also said to talk out loud to the missing loved one. I've done that and it helped. I also have written several letters to Sharon, gone outside, set them on fire and let the wind take them to heaven. I wrote a poem in memory of my best friend which I shared with many of her friends. Last summer I made a memorial garden made in Sharon and my mothers' memories. My mother passed away this past June so I have made this garden in my front yard where people can come in and sit down to think, read, pray or just listen to the sound of the water fountain in the background. These are just some of the things I have done to get through this year. It is still so hard to believe Sharon is gone. She was a wonderful friend and very deeply missed.

Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2000

My Aunt, who was widowed twice, so she ought to know, says that the first year is always the hardest because it's so full of "firsts". But don't kick yourself for not having been able to "cure" your friend. Some things are beyond our control (in God's hands, if you like). That is one of the hard things cancer makes us confront.

You already made your friend's life and illness more comfortable for her; she was never alone, and that means more than you may be giving yourself credit for.

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