Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

Mosis50 · March 2003

I am new to all of this. I was just diagnosed with ductal carcinoma and I am awaiting surgery. My doctor was to let me know about the test results one day but didn't call me. I called and called his office the next day and finally MADE him tell me what the results were - like I didn't know what they were going to be. He said he just didn't want to tell me on the phone but the waiting was so terrible. I believe my reaction would have been better if the tension had not been so great from all the waiting.

Now I have to wait 3 weeks until surgery - mastectomy. I will be meeting with oncologist during this 3 week wait. I wonder whether I should order a breast prosthesis and wig now or just wait??

I shared the news with my family and friends and am thankful for all of their prayers. That gives me the strength I need to cope with the waiting. My faith is strong and I am so thankful to have GOD on my side and I know that whatever the future holds, HE will get me through.

I am not very patient and need to know what is next for me. I have thought about this process. I know I am not afraid of death. It is the dying that scares me. Will I be strong? I hope and pray that I will.
MOSIS50

joanna930 · March 2003

Hi Mosis50
I have to tell you, I can totally relate to your situation... I am a five year survivor of breast cancer. But..I was more upset that the doctor told me on the telephone rather than calling me into his office.

As far as what to expect next... well.. you said you have faith... so just BELIEVE that God WILL take hold of it. I suppose I wasn't a very typical patient when I had my surgery... When I woke up from the biopsy I asked the doctor "well, is it benign or will I have the breast reduction I've always wanted". No one could believe I was laughing at this... (I even told the nurses to "lighten up" when they came in the room. "After all," I said...."it's only flesh"...I always said they could take anything they wanted except my eyes..... and here is where I had to prove my word... so I made a joke of it, and NO, I'm NOT saying at all that it is a laughing matter, but what I am saying is....... do what you can about it and give the rest to THE BIG GUY! "Let Go and Let God". I made a decision before the biopsy that if it was cancer... it was cancer... I wasn't going to worry about it... I wouldn't give it the negative energy it needs to survive and grow. Instead, I made jokes about it (of course quite a few people swore I was in denial.... but they just didn't realize my way of thinking). If you send a positive attitude through your mind and body, you can overcome ANYTHING! (Sometimes "now" I have a hard time remembering that. LOL)

Even the morning the the mastectomy, the nurses were amazed that I was laughing and joking with my family and with the staff about the surgery. One of the nurses asked me, "aren't you the least bit nervous? Your blood pressure is even perfect". I asked her why should I be nervous, just have my drugs and coffee for me when I wake up. She laughed and said she had never seen anyone take it so lightly. I told her "well.. I can be nervous if you want me to be"...and she laughed. I was fortunate enough to have found it early, and even though the doctor wanted to schedule the surgery sooner... my bosses (a couple who I loved), had planned their first vacation in 25 years around the time I would be off work.... sooooooo, I asked the doctor what he thought about my waiting "a little while for surgery"... he didn't think "a little while" would hurt...... so I waited until they got back (seven weeks later... pretty dumb, but I figured the needed a vacation :-) However, it is not a light situation... it is serious, but the way we react to it doesn't have to feed it with serious thoughts. Lighthearted thoughts will help you keep your spirits up. And just remember... whatever YOU personally cannot do... GOD CAN!!! And don't be afraid to say "Lord, I'm really pissed off that I have to go through this, but I know YOU can take care of this much better than I can.... so please..... GET TO WORK!" He will love you for it.

As far as the prosthesis and wig... the wig is up to you... I got one before chemo, and as it happened all of my hair didn't fall out so I didn't need to use it. The prosthesis on the other hand... I waited until after the surgery and after the incision healed (by the way... I didn't believe my daughter's mother-in-law when she said the incision didn't hurt at all... but ya know what???? She was right!.... the drain tube was uncomfortable and my underarm felt like it was sunburned when the numbness wore off... but the incision had no pain at all)..... Oh... ok.. now to get back to where I was.

The American Cancer Society is a wonderful place to start for all of your needs. They not only will provide you with a temporary (cloth-like) prosthesis to use while you heal... but if you are in the same situation that I was in, they will also furnish you with a new prosthesis (and wig).... AT NO COST TO YOU!.. The wig I had gotten was a few dollars more than they allowed, so I just paid the extra $$. They will also provide you with mastectomy bras. It's amazing that until something like this comes up, you honestly do not realize how wonderful the ACS is. They even paid for my "Zofran"... the anti-nausea pills that I would take for a day or two after chemo (miracle drugs.... I was only ill once or twice)... they are expensive... but they work.

Ok...that's my experience and my advice to you. I wasn't (and still am not) afraid of death.... but, you are not going to die. That's why God invented doctors and medications and people who care. My biggest fear was that I would be a burden on my daughter and her family.... thank God she was there for me, but if I had to, God would have given me the strength to get through it alone... and I know He will do the same thing for you. The only thing that REALLY bothered me (totally pissed me off actually) was the fatigue. You can't explain it to someone who has never experienced it.... but, I'd get so mad when I wanted to do something but didn't have the energy to move.... however, it was worth the fatigue to find out how many people really care out there...people you've never met.

Oh..... and one more thing.... I use to HATE when someone would say "you poor thing"....... when they'd say that... I'd ask them,,,,"why am I poor? God helped me find it and found the doctors to take care of it... the way I see it... I'm Blessed!"

I just found this website tonight (they advertised it on tv)....... I'll be checking back on occassion..... God Bless You and KEEP STRONG.... Remember (someplace in Corinthians) Christ said "I am strongest when you are weak"... LET HIM BE STRONG FOR YOU AND SMILE AS YOU FEEL HIS HAND ON YOUR SHOULDER

Joanna930

Pattyh · March 2003

Call your Doctor's office and tell them you want someone from the Cancer Society to contact you. Someone who has been through this will come to your home and give you brochures and answer any questions you may have. I talked to the woman on the phone a couple of times and she came to the hospital instead of my home. I would of liked the information first. This message board is great and so many people share your pain and will give you as much information as they can. They helped me make it through.God bless you. You can do it.

bunnie · March 2003

Hi i just had a mastecomy at the age of 34 it has hit me fairly hard.Iam know doing chemo.Iam getting ready to have my second one this friday and then i have two left.If it wasnt for my family and friends i would have given up on the chemo but thanks to there support iam sticking with it.you are going to have some rough days but it does get better.So just hang in there and know that everyone is supporting you.

lkh · March 2003

Hi!

I know just how you feel. It took a couple of weeks for me to finally get a confirmed diagnosis for my cancer -- and then, when I went for a 2nd opinion, the specialists at the 2nd clinic had to re-run some of the tests because they thought I might have been misdiagnosed (they thought I might have lymphoma instead of bc).

This is a good time for you to do some research on your various treatment options. Here at www.cancer.org, you can complete a breast cancer profiler and learn about the different treatments that are available to you. It will also give you a good idea what outcomes to expect.

I took about a month after my diagnosis to study all my options and make decisions. I knew I would have to live the rest of my life with the things I did, so I wanted to be sure. My gut reaction at first was to have a mastectomy, for example, but I learned that I was a good candidate for lumpectomy, the outcomes were exactly the same. I also learned that because I am full-breasted, having a mastectomy might result in back problems unless I either had reconstruction (didn't want more surgeries) or wore a weighted prosthesis almost all the time (I didn't like that idea). So I ended up deciding that lumpectomy was the better option for me.

Also, I was given a choice between two kinds of chemo, and I did a lot of research on that.

In the end, I think taking the time up front resulted in my being more content with the outcome than I might otherwise have been. I know your gut response is to "get it out" but you may be glad you had a little time to think things through later on.

I'm glad, too that you have faith in God. He really filled me with a profound peace through my whole experience, and I found that the treatments were not nearly as bad as I feared. Chemo was actually not too bad (tho I HATED losing my hip-length hair). Radiation was a breeze. It's been two years now, and I'm still cancer-free. You will soon be looking back on this and if your experience is anything like mine, you'll find there were some hidden blessings in this whole thing. Getting diagnosed with cancer is no fun, but trust God to work it to the good. He is absolutely faithful!

Blessings!
Lisa

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

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