Gotta get this out

Mary1024 said:

Thanks for your words of comfort
Last night we had "the talk". My Oncologist had called that day with confirmation that my cancer has returned and in his opinion treatment is not a good option. I wont go into all the details and whys of that.

Anyway, when she got home from work we sat down and I explained what the Dr said and that yes I'll get a second opinion, but I'm inclined to agree - I dont want more chemo/rads. I feel good physically most of the time, and I want to be able to enjoy the time we have left.

It was so hard to inflict that pain on her, knowing it's necessary and there is nothing I can do but let her work through her feelings.

I don't expect to pass soon, but I'm definately taking charge of pre-arranging, setting appt's with the lawyer and the bank, and get things settled financially. I do think once the financial stuff is out of the way, we can then relax and enjoy our time. She will resist at first, but once it's done she'll be glad. I think for her if she agrees to get the house transferred, etc it's like admitting defeat. While I will worry until it's done.

We are going to visit my family tomorrow and tell them. It's going to be extremely hard. I feel like I've got the easy part in all this. I feel so deeply for my partner and family. I want to do anything I can to ease their pain, but I know I can't erase it.

Luann and our families were there for me every step of the way through treatment. They were strong for me when I was weak physically and emotionally. Now it's my turn to be strong for them. To give them their space to grieve but also try to instill that life goes on and I want them to find their happiness sooner rather than later.

We are here
Hi, I'm Jill. I am so sorry for everything that is happening... It's hard to make all of those plans but that's the sucky part of loving someone so much. It's the beautiful part, too. Melissa and I had almost 14 years of love, we had known each other for 18 years. I wish that we never had to do this but I thank my lucky stars that we loved each other so much that it carried us through more than I ever thought I could handle. And it still does. Be patient with each other but say the things you need her to hear...

All the love I have,
Jill