The aftermath of husband's cancer and remission

Rhonda8

My husband was diagnosed with cancer last year and is in remission. We are in our 30s and have school-aged children. He is on chemo indefinitely to help prevent a relapse, so our life has changed a lot. Our relationship doesn't feel the same anymore. He is a great person, but I can't seem to connect this cancer patient to the man I've been married to for all these years. The man I married was strong and I could lean on him. It's one of the main reasons I chose him. I don't feel the same way about him now. I realize none of this is his fault of course, but I can't seem to make myself feel the same way that I did before. I am developing resentment towards him. I don't want to take care of the kids, our home, our finances, my ailing parents, and him too. When I said in sickness and in health, I pictured us as two old people taking care of one another. Our relationship feels one-sided. I'm struggling, but there's never anyone to take care of me. I love him, but this feels like a life sentence. I just have to accept that this it it? Forever?

AFurru

Hi Rhonda8,
Being a care giver is hard. To watch the person, you partnered with not able to be the person they were is not easy. Do you have any help? Family, friends or neighbors that can give you a break or help. You have to be sure to take care of yourself too.

When I was taking care of my husband through and illness and rehab, I tried to see the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it is hard to see.

Now my husband has cancer, and I am in the same boat again. Chemo right now. It is so hard on his system, and he is trying to deal with the pain and the exhaustion. He gets so angry.

Ann