Fiance's 2nd diagnosis - I'm so overwhelmed, lost and lonely
How do I keep up w/everything?
Last week my fiance of one month was diagnosised w/cancer for the second time.
Six yrs ago he had Hodgkin's Lymphoma and two months ago was told he was cancer free at his 6 yr. check-up.
Then I saw a mole on his neck and nudged him to get it checked. The biopsy came back - he has Melanoma.
I work in healthcare (marketing) and my family has a medical background and several severe medical cases so I jumped into action mode.
Within 1 hr. of receiving the news at work I went to our local cancer resource center.
Within 12 hrs. I attended a seminar on being your own healthcare advocate.
Within 48 hrs. we had a our first consultation scheduled (two more were scheduled by the end of the week)
Within 72 hrs. we met w/our priest for support.
The rest of the week was filled w/researching, organizing files, finding other docs, my job, wedding planning, doc appts., being there for him (grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning etc.) and bouncing between my apartment and his house (45min drive).
My world is completely upside down.
I keep crying. Not around him of course. In the car, the only place where I have a moment to breathe.
I feel so alone despite reaching out for help.
I don't like the intense mood swings both for him or me. Our 1.5 yr. relationship has always been serene and happy. Now there is awkward tension and distance between us.
Since this is his second time w/cancer he is coping ok. I however, can't seem to get it together.
We're young (he's 31 and I'm 30) and I want things to improve so that we can have a happy life. Right now I'm lost on how to make this a reality
Will life slow down again?
What can I do to improve our communication and relationship when he shuts down?
Where or how do I get help for the grief I feel due to our month of wedding bliss ending so abruptly and our relatioship forever being changed?
Thanks for any insights. I have a support team but they aren't cancer specialists so I feel lost.
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