I've never felt so loved :) You are all SO amazing!!
First: I want to say thank you so much everyone for the overwhelming responses to my "bad news" I couldn't believe all the wonderful things said that have given me "strength, courage and hope" as VickiSam signs
Hearing so many people who haven't given up, are in the same boat, or even worse, and are still living on, and enjoying life has really opened my eyes (although as I read the responses my eyes were tear filled but yet being opened, and filled with joy . Second: LoveBabyJesus, thank you so much for starting a prayer chain, how thoughtful of you to do this, it absolutely put me to tears, happy tears that is, to know so many care so much and I know prayer in numbers is good. Thank you to all of you who agreed to do this and I knew last night (it's 4:30 in the morning now because of course I can't sleep) that you were all with me and I felt as if I had people all over the world lifting me up in prayer, that was so amazing!!
After reading all the posts and carefully thinking this all through, I've decided I need to give it another shot, as stated, maybe a new chemo will come out during my next fight that could prolong my life even more, and if I don't try, I wont know. I've been blessed long enough to see my baby girl get married and I think with a little fight and a lot of faith in God, I could see my son graduate high school next year, every little mile stone means so much to me now. Not to mention, I turn 40 this year so of course I want to see that as well
I've called my oncologist and my radiologist, this morning at 9:15 I'll meet with the radiologist to get started on radiation for pain control and to hopefully shrink the existing tumors, I know this wont help the supraclavicular node and other node involvement (they've all ready been radiated in the past) but it's a start. I'll meet my oncologist after and see what the best chemo plan will be for the additional involvement (areas that have received radiation and cannot be radiated again). My daughter returns from her honeymoon on Thursday and I'm not looking forward to giving her all this bad news, but at least she got to enjoy 10 wonderful days in Hawaii
She is an RN on the oncology/transplant wing of the hospital here and I value all of her advice and of course she pushes me to press on . I know this is long but I just needed to let all of you know how much I appreciate all that you do and everyone of my "Kindred Spirits" and their loved ones are in my prayers every morning. God is good, and I believe He has a plan for all of us and at this point, I believe He wants to see me fight. You know they say God don't give you more than we can handle, I think He thinks I'm one tough cookie
Big Hugs, Miles of Love, and Great Gratitude for all of YOU,
Kari
Comments
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aww Kari, You are so loved
aww Kari, You are so loved and I'm glad you've decided to fight this beast.
We are warriors!
God Bless,
Wanda0 -
Kari, I'm so happy to read
Kari, I'm so happy to read that you are going to get back in the fight! Yes, you do have some milestones to reach and there is nothing better to give you the courage and hope than your wonderful family and, of course, all your loving pink sisters. You are a special lady and I am here for you in anyway you need.
P.S. You have NOT been a "bad" pink sister. You were living your life and there's nothing wrong with that! Love you, sister!0 -
SendingMyTurnNow said:Kari, I'm so happy to read
Kari, I'm so happy to read that you are going to get back in the fight! Yes, you do have some milestones to reach and there is nothing better to give you the courage and hope than your wonderful family and, of course, all your loving pink sisters. You are a special lady and I am here for you in anyway you need.
P.S. You have NOT been a "bad" pink sister. You were living your life and there's nothing wrong with that! Love you, sister!
love, strength, hope. You have an amazing beautiful spirit and sparkly energy.
We'll be with you during your doctor visits (we are that buzzing in the corner:)
xoxo
Victoria0 -
Kari, Thanks are SO not
Kari, Thanks are SO not necessary. We're all in this together, dear Kindred Spirit. The important thing now is to put on the gloves and give it all it's got! We are with you every step of the way. My very very very best wishes go out to you. xoxoxoxo Lynn0 -
No such thing as a 'bad pink sister'....
only 'bad cancer'!!!!!
I knew that you would think more about things, once the initial shock wore off....
I remember seeking 5 2nd opinions when my onc said I needed chemo for the BC....I had just had full chemo treatment for the colon cancer, a mere 6 month's earlier!!! My 5th 2 nd opinion came from the head of oncology for the breast center at UCLA...she said...
"I know you are weary, Kathi. But why would you throw away all the hard fighting you have already done, by not fighting as hard as you can now?"
I called my onc on the way back home to schedule the chemo....
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Dear Kari...
Echoing others already posted here... No need for "thanks"... And, you are most certainly NOT a "bad pink sister"!!! You've already been through so much, and now facing more.
All of this cancer crap is horrid and beyond difficult. Often, we simply need time to process - time to think and ponder, weigh the options.
Am glad you've decided to continue your fight! We'll always be here for you, Kari.
Sending prayers for strength. And always, buckets of heartfelt HOPES.
Kindest regards, Susan0 -
Hugs
Kari... you are such a source of inspiration and hope for us too. We may be miles apart from one another, but we, your Sisters in Pink, are bound in spirit. I am happy to hear the responses to your blog lifted your spirits and have propelled you to go forward with your battle. We are here for you, cheering you on each step of the way. Big hugs and much love to you dear one!
Ines0 -
So gladBella Luna said:Hugs
Kari... you are such a source of inspiration and hope for us too. We may be miles apart from one another, but we, your Sisters in Pink, are bound in spirit. I am happy to hear the responses to your blog lifted your spirits and have propelled you to go forward with your battle. We are here for you, cheering you on each step of the way. Big hugs and much love to you dear one!
Ines
So glad you've decided to keep fighting. The prayers of many of us were answered last night. We're here for you, fighting right beside you.
Hugs and love.
marge0 -
Hi Kari!! I felt something last night while praying. I already knew you would fight again. And please know you won't be alone on this. God will be with you. It felt so peaceful as if something was saying "do not worry my child". I wanted to share this with you.
I am so happy to see you lifted and ready. You inspire me so much. You too help us in many ways. We see that anything is possible and we have the power to change things. So thank you for that.
We will continue to pray. Once your new plan is figured out, we will be here for you again, and again. I just love this community of great people. I truly feel the support and care. And pink sister, you have it! God bless you, always!0 -
Kari
I am so glad you made a decision. As hard as it is, we will all be pushing for at least June of 2012 so you will see your son graduate high school. Keep up the hope that a chemo that will work is out there just waiting to find us!
As always, hugs and prayers are coming your way and your daughter is part of your team, so once the shock wears off, she will also have a new husband to give her extra strength that she will pass on to you!
Love and hugs,
Carol0 -
Oh Kari so happy you are
Oh Kari so happy you are showing what a tough cookie God made you to be, and with HIs help and you putting one foot in front of the other, you will and are gonna make it one day at a time because that is all we ever have. Love you girl. Put those pink boxing gloves on and fight. We are all in your corner cheering you on.0 -
Way to "Fight like a Girl"!!!!cahjah75 said:Kari
you show such a tremendous strength. I'm glad you are going to fight the battle again and hope you know that we are all here with prayer and hopes for a cure.
{{hugs}} Char
Kari
I haven't read where your from, but A pray was said for you on Sunday in a small Church in Ohio! You are so right about prayer in numbers! I had so many people in the waiting room during my mastectomy, including 3 pastors, that my family & I were truly humbled. I haven't figured out where breast cancer fits into the scheme of Gods plan for me, But I know We are all blessed to have come this far. Non of us are worthy and yet here we are! You give me hope & inspiration that I can continue to fight no matter what lies ahead.
Hugs & Prayers,
Renee0 -
Let me get this straight...renee616 said:Way to "Fight like a Girl"!!!!
Kari
I haven't read where your from, but A pray was said for you on Sunday in a small Church in Ohio! You are so right about prayer in numbers! I had so many people in the waiting room during my mastectomy, including 3 pastors, that my family & I were truly humbled. I haven't figured out where breast cancer fits into the scheme of Gods plan for me, But I know We are all blessed to have come this far. Non of us are worthy and yet here we are! You give me hope & inspiration that I can continue to fight no matter what lies ahead.
Hugs & Prayers,
Renee
So, Kari, let me get this straight: You've just been given some of the most frightening news any of us could receive, you're in the process of making life-changing decisions, caring for your loved ones, and running as fast as you can from The Big Cancer Boulder (I'm picturing you like Indiana Jones here)...
...and you're APOLOGIZING for not posting here enough?
Get over here, girl, and let me thump you!
:-) Traci0 -
Glad you reached thisrenee616 said:Way to "Fight like a Girl"!!!!
Kari
I haven't read where your from, but A pray was said for you on Sunday in a small Church in Ohio! You are so right about prayer in numbers! I had so many people in the waiting room during my mastectomy, including 3 pastors, that my family & I were truly humbled. I haven't figured out where breast cancer fits into the scheme of Gods plan for me, But I know We are all blessed to have come this far. Non of us are worthy and yet here we are! You give me hope & inspiration that I can continue to fight no matter what lies ahead.
Hugs & Prayers,
Renee
Glad you reached this decision. You will continue to be in my prayers and good thoughts. You have so much to fight for so give it your all.
Stef0 -
fauxma said:
Glad you reached this
Glad you reached this decision. You will continue to be in my prayers and good thoughts. You have so much to fight for so give it your all.
Stef
I am smiling because I am so happy that you have come to this decision Kari! And, I know all of the pink sisters are also breathing a sigh of relief knowing you are going to fight!
I put you on my prayer list at church, and, I truly believe in the power of prayer. Just look at how your sisters here were all praying for you and reaching out to others to do the same for you.
I've always thought of RE, Jeanne D, Kathi M, Libby and others that have fought this horrid disease more than once to be such an inspiration to me. I know it couldn't have been easy for them to go in the ring more than once, but, they did and they beat it! Now, I can add you to my inspiration list and if the beast should ever call on me again, I will just kick it's behind like you and the others I mentioned.
I will continue to pray for you Kari! I am just so glad that you are going to get treatment. I know your daughter will too!
Sue 0 -
"never give in, or never give up"Ritzy said:
I am smiling because I am so happy that you have come to this decision Kari! And, I know all of the pink sisters are also breathing a sigh of relief knowing you are going to fight!
I put you on my prayer list at church, and, I truly believe in the power of prayer. Just look at how your sisters here were all praying for you and reaching out to others to do the same for you.
I've always thought of RE, Jeanne D, Kathi M, Libby and others that have fought this horrid disease more than once to be such an inspiration to me. I know it couldn't have been easy for them to go in the ring more than once, but, they did and they beat it! Now, I can add you to my inspiration list and if the beast should ever call on me again, I will just kick it's behind like you and the others I mentioned.
I will continue to pray for you Kari! I am just so glad that you are going to get treatment. I know your daughter will too!
Sue
now that's my Pinkkari09! ...
Vicki Sam0
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