Thinking ahead to Mother's Day

kellyh33
kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
Hello ladies,
I am looking for advice on what to get my mom for mother's day. As you know she is very ill and if the oncologist is right then this will be the last mother's day we will share with her.
I have invited all of my siblings and their spouses to my house for the afternoon. Mom/Dad live across the street from me so i think this is what is best for mom.
I am at a loss of what to get for mom. I want it to be something special so she knows how much i love her. Do you have any suggestions?
Orginally i had thought i would take her for high tea but that is not going to happen since mom does not like to go out to eat anymore. She is afraid of getting sick while out and she has developed a bit of agraphobia (sp?).
I don't want to get her anything that is a connected to her condition either like pjyamas or slippers.
Help!
T.I.A.
Kelly

Comments

  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980
    I like matching mother/daughter rings or earrings...
    I got matching rings for my daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and myself,...nothing terribly expensive, but 'nice'. If your mother's ears are pierced, that may be a better mother/daughter matching gift if she is losing weight and her ring size could change.

    Funny you mention gifting. I am one who buys things whenever I see the perfect gift for someone and hangs onto it for months until a gift occasion arises, and old habits die hard. I spent this morning organizing all of the gifts I've picked up since Christmas for my family and friends, boxing them up and tucking in a gift card that shows who each gift is for. I won't freak out my husband by wrapping them, in case he thinks that means I don't believe I'll be here at Christmas. (& I am torn myself because I don't have something for everyone on my list or anything "complete" like that.) But I do feel better to have everything completely tidy in case I am suddenly no longer here.

    I take comfort in that: a little wierd I guess to some people. I re-did my will and began succession planning of my business as soon as I had my 1st recurrence, with the idea that then I can just concentrate on LIVING. I'm actualy thinking of pre-planning my funeral 'on the sly' just so my family won't have to do that, but haven't done anything about that yet except think of little things I'd like to do with that. Sorry for the drift 'off topic'...
  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    Dear Kelly
    Great question...I had that issue for my mother for her birthday...and I splurged and designed for her a cake from someone like Ace of Cakes and it had our family sitting around a pool, which is what we do in Fl....It was the hit of the party.....I found the lady who made these cakes on the internet in my mother's area and she was great to work with...Fondit Cakes....was what I put in....it was just something that we could all have fun around....Mom also said she wanted to do something special and she had her closest friends fly in that she most wanted there....it was special and I took cool photos that she now has on her bureau....make sure to get those photos.....I think just being there made a huge difference for her....maybe ask her what she would want maybe a special get together ? Spa....
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287

    I like matching mother/daughter rings or earrings...
    I got matching rings for my daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and myself,...nothing terribly expensive, but 'nice'. If your mother's ears are pierced, that may be a better mother/daughter matching gift if she is losing weight and her ring size could change.

    Funny you mention gifting. I am one who buys things whenever I see the perfect gift for someone and hangs onto it for months until a gift occasion arises, and old habits die hard. I spent this morning organizing all of the gifts I've picked up since Christmas for my family and friends, boxing them up and tucking in a gift card that shows who each gift is for. I won't freak out my husband by wrapping them, in case he thinks that means I don't believe I'll be here at Christmas. (& I am torn myself because I don't have something for everyone on my list or anything "complete" like that.) But I do feel better to have everything completely tidy in case I am suddenly no longer here.

    I take comfort in that: a little wierd I guess to some people. I re-did my will and began succession planning of my business as soon as I had my 1st recurrence, with the idea that then I can just concentrate on LIVING. I'm actualy thinking of pre-planning my funeral 'on the sly' just so my family won't have to do that, but haven't done anything about that yet except think of little things I'd like to do with that. Sorry for the drift 'off topic'...

    Will
    Thankfully my brother is a real estate and wills lawyer so he got together with my parents and re-did theirs a month or so ago. It is a sad thing but something that needs to be done when everyone is clear headed.
    My Mom was told she cannot wear earrings while she is doing weekly chemo incase of infection. I do like the idea of the rings......mom has always loved jewellry.
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    Lisa13Q said:

    Dear Kelly
    Great question...I had that issue for my mother for her birthday...and I splurged and designed for her a cake from someone like Ace of Cakes and it had our family sitting around a pool, which is what we do in Fl....It was the hit of the party.....I found the lady who made these cakes on the internet in my mother's area and she was great to work with...Fondit Cakes....was what I put in....it was just something that we could all have fun around....Mom also said she wanted to do something special and she had her closest friends fly in that she most wanted there....it was special and I took cool photos that she now has on her bureau....make sure to get those photos.....I think just being there made a huge difference for her....maybe ask her what she would want maybe a special get together ? Spa....

    Cake
    Thanks Lisa for your reply. I was also thinking of a cake but i don't know what to put on it. A pedicure could be a nice idea if we went together. Mom's feet are a bit of a mess. I really want to do something to give her the wow factor.
    Funny that i am thinking of this today when i cannot make myself call her :( Everyone says well it's okay to give yourself a break but mom/dad don't get to have a break from it...
    Don't get me wrong i usually call her or see her everyday but today i don't know i just haven't. I guess i will do that now.
  • Hissy_Fitz
    Hissy_Fitz Member Posts: 1,834
    kellyh33 said:

    Cake
    Thanks Lisa for your reply. I was also thinking of a cake but i don't know what to put on it. A pedicure could be a nice idea if we went together. Mom's feet are a bit of a mess. I really want to do something to give her the wow factor.
    Funny that i am thinking of this today when i cannot make myself call her :( Everyone says well it's okay to give yourself a break but mom/dad don't get to have a break from it...
    Don't get me wrong i usually call her or see her everyday but today i don't know i just haven't. I guess i will do that now.

    They need to come up with a
    They need to come up with a definitive list of "do not's" for chemo patients. I wore my earrings all thru chemo. I also had mani/pedi's and I've since heard that some doctors don't allow them. (I know my doctor knew, because he always said, "How are your fingers and toes?" and I responded, right after a pedi with flowers and glued on bling, "See....I have pretty toes.")

    My doctor said no tattoos (like that was an issue) and no invasive dental work. I had to postpone a root canal for six months.

    If your mom loves jewelry, maybe a Mizpah piece. It means, "The Lord watch between thee and me when we are absent, one from the other."

    Carlene
  • BrittanyC
    BrittanyC Member Posts: 100

    They need to come up with a
    They need to come up with a definitive list of "do not's" for chemo patients. I wore my earrings all thru chemo. I also had mani/pedi's and I've since heard that some doctors don't allow them. (I know my doctor knew, because he always said, "How are your fingers and toes?" and I responded, right after a pedi with flowers and glued on bling, "See....I have pretty toes.")

    My doctor said no tattoos (like that was an issue) and no invasive dental work. I had to postpone a root canal for six months.

    If your mom loves jewelry, maybe a Mizpah piece. It means, "The Lord watch between thee and me when we are absent, one from the other."

    Carlene

    Jewelry... It is forever.
    I

    Jewelry... It is forever.

    I have my mom's Hawaiian pendant that has my middle name on it.. she used to wear it all of the time and now it is mine to wear.
  • Hissy_Fitz
    Hissy_Fitz Member Posts: 1,834
    BrittanyC said:

    Jewelry... It is forever.
    I

    Jewelry... It is forever.

    I have my mom's Hawaiian pendant that has my middle name on it.. she used to wear it all of the time and now it is mine to wear.

    I agree, Brittany. I wear
    I agree, Brittany. I wear an heirloom diamond engagement ring that belonged to my grandmother's sister. She married in 1925 and had no children. My mom wore it until just days before she died.

    My mom loved jewelry, too, and I was her only daughter, so I have all of hers plus gifts from three husbands. LOL....I have a LOT of jewelry. My girlfriend calls it "Texas gauche." It's true....we Texas girls love our bling!

    Carlene
  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412

    I agree, Brittany. I wear
    I agree, Brittany. I wear an heirloom diamond engagement ring that belonged to my grandmother's sister. She married in 1925 and had no children. My mom wore it until just days before she died.

    My mom loved jewelry, too, and I was her only daughter, so I have all of hers plus gifts from three husbands. LOL....I have a LOT of jewelry. My girlfriend calls it "Texas gauche." It's true....we Texas girls love our bling!

    Carlene

    Jewllery.
    I love the meaning behind Mizpah jewellery , had never heard of it before. Any girl likes some nice jewellery!!!! Diamonds are a girls best friend!!! Lol
    I wear my Nans engagement ring, it is the most beautiful ring ever , loads of people comment on it, she did have some stunning rings, but to me it is priceless, I could never replace the ring, if I lost it or the stone was to fall out, I would be sick , it holds such sentimental value.
    I think you can't go wrong with jewellery, and I am loving the mizpah idea.

    Liz xx
  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    kellyh33 said:

    Cake
    Thanks Lisa for your reply. I was also thinking of a cake but i don't know what to put on it. A pedicure could be a nice idea if we went together. Mom's feet are a bit of a mess. I really want to do something to give her the wow factor.
    Funny that i am thinking of this today when i cannot make myself call her :( Everyone says well it's okay to give yourself a break but mom/dad don't get to have a break from it...
    Don't get me wrong i usually call her or see her everyday but today i don't know i just haven't. I guess i will do that now.

    Cake AND BREAKS!!!!!!!!!!
    Kelly,

    ITS REALLY IMPORTANT TO TAKE A BREAK!!! I AM HOME NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 4 WEEKS AND I NEEDED IT...MY SISTER AND I HAVE STARTED TO SWITCH OFF AND EVEN MOM UNDERSTANDS WE NEED TO GET AWAY FOR AWHILE...ITS EXHAUSTING........WHAT CITY DO YOU LIVE IN? I'LL LOOK FOR A CAKE PERSON....WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER LIKE TO DO? WHAT ARE HER FAVORITE THINGS? THATS WHAT YOU PUT ON THE CAKE....MY MOTHER LOVES PEPSI AND JIM BEAM....WE PUT THOSE ON THE CAKE AS WELL AS EACH OF HER GRANDKIDS DOING SOMETHING THEY LOVE.....THE BOYS ALL HAD TENNIS RACKETS, MY BROTHER DRUMS, I AHD A CAMERA, AND THE GIRLS WERE ALL TALKING ON CELL PHONES....IT WAS AWESOME...LOVE, FANG FISH (I HAVE DECIDED THAT;S MY NEW NAME)
  • anicca
    anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
    I like the cake and ring
    I like the cake and ring ideas, but if your mom enjoys massage, you could hire a massage therapist to come to her house for a relaxing massage either before or after the party.

    DB
  • LaundryQueen
    LaundryQueen Member Posts: 676
    anicca said:

    I like the cake and ring
    I like the cake and ring ideas, but if your mom enjoys massage, you could hire a massage therapist to come to her house for a relaxing massage either before or after the party.

    DB

    Quote Book
    I don't know if you could pull this off or if it is too much to undertake something like a Quote Book. I published such a book (more of a booklet) for my Dad's 80th birthday that was a compilation of quotes and anecdotes about Dad--contributed by his children and other family members. My dad is an immigrant and so the booklet had some sayings from "the old country" that he would tell us.

    I used software in MicroSoft Word which allowed the inclusion of photos/graphics. It was easy to have the booklet published at Kinkos and I made copies for everyone.

    Maybe your mom has hobbies or is known for some special recipes. I am sure you would know how to personalize the booklet to make it appropriate for her. I imagine you could put in funny stories, baby photos and maybe even a story about how your mom and dad met. Call the booklet what you like.

    My mom is 78 and she is full of original quotes so I maybe I should work on a booklet for her as her health is not as good my dad's health--I don't know if she is gonna make it to 80. Here's an original one: "It's always difficult to live with another person even if that other person is Jesus."
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    could you
    bring high tea to her? Maybe you could also have a home spa day... my ONC doesn't want me to have my nails and toes done at the salon, but certainly doesn't mind me doing it at home. I just love it when my feet look good and my toes are polished.
    (((HUGS))) Maria

    P.S. Your Mom already knows how much you love her. Give her a squeeze for me?