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I'm Ticked Off

padee6339
padee6339 CSN Member Posts: 763
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Yesterday I read about Lynn Redgrave losing her battle with the beast. I was very sad and then very upset. Seems I'm hearing more and more lately that this one or that one lost their battle with bc. I know we are all survivors and warriors and we know we are cured, there is always that one itty bitty chance it will come back. I mentioned to one of my co-workers about my concern, and she actually told me that her (Lynn's) bc was different than mine and that she's been "battling" and I'm cured and not battling any more. I am getting more and more intolerant of others who have absolutely no idea what we are going through. My philosophy has always been if you don't know what you are talking about, then keep your mouth shut. I read a lot on this website I don't understand, and I will not go into the thread and made comments. How does she "know" this? I just said to her "you have no idea what you are talking about, how do you know my bc isn't the same as hers? I don't know if my cancer is the same as hers, so how would you know?" (BTW - this woman has huge implants and wears low cut tight shirts)

I'm sorry to vent, but I know this is the place to do it. Sometimes I wish people would just stop and think before they speak.

Thanks!
Pat
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Comments

  • ms_independent
    ms_independent CSN Member Posts: 214
    #2
    I sooo agree
    What a dumb thing to say. I hope she realizes how thought-less she was and doesn't do it again. Your response was great. I think the fear of recurrance will always be with me as I expect it is with most of us (to one degree or another).

    Hugs, El
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  • CarrWilson
    CarrWilson CSN Member Posts: 111
    #3
    Aarrrrg
    Sometimes don't you just want to ""SLAP"" that thoughtless someone!!

    Every time I hear about another warrior losing their battle it makes me a little teary. Vent away, we all understand!

    -Carrie
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  • chenheart
    chenheart CSN Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #4
    Pat,
    Sweet Sister, you know
    Pat,

    Sweet Sister, you know what they say..."you can't fix stupid!" I stopped trying a long time ago, and am always thankful that I am who I am, and not who they are!!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
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  • Kat11
    Kat11 CSN Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #5
    chenheart said:

    Pat,
    Sweet Sister, you know
    Pat,

    Sweet Sister, you know what they say..."you can't fix stupid!" I stopped trying a long time ago, and am always thankful that I am who I am, and not who they are!!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Well said Chen.

    Well said Chen.
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  • padee6339
    padee6339 CSN Member Posts: 763
    #6
    Another surprise
    I was talking to my Mother about it last night and how people say stupid things to me about it and I wondered why people are so insensitive. She told me ouright - everyone is sick of hearing about it. I made an excuse and hung up the phone. Even she doesn't get it. I got to thinking (after the tears) that mabe everyone is sick of hearing me talk about it. So I decided that the only people who I talk to about it will be people who ask me, you guys, and friends of mine who have gone through it.
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  • arbojenn
    arbojenn CSN Member Posts: 118
    #7
    OMG! I know just what you
    OMG! I know just what you are talking about! After a re-excision for a recurrence and radiation treatments, my doctors said I was cured. But they pitched a fit when I said I no longer was going to take the Femara because of the cognitive effects. If I was "cured," why would I need to take a pill the rest of my life? In BC land, "cured" doesn't mean when it does everywhere else.
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  • padee6339
    padee6339 CSN Member Posts: 763
    #8
    arbojenn said:

    OMG! I know just what you
    OMG! I know just what you are talking about! After a re-excision for a recurrence and radiation treatments, my doctors said I was cured. But they pitched a fit when I said I no longer was going to take the Femara because of the cognitive effects. If I was "cured," why would I need to take a pill the rest of my life? In BC land, "cured" doesn't mean when it does everywhere else.

    EXACTLY!
    Thanks Arbojen - that's exactly what I mean!!!!
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  • tgf
    tgf CSN Member Posts: 950 Member
    #9
    padee6339 said:

    EXACTLY!
    Thanks Arbojen - that's exactly what I mean!!!!

    stupid
    Nope ... we can't fix stupid ... but I just wish they'd get a clue. They really do believe that the surgery got every little cancer cell in our body ... and that if our hair has grown back ... we've finished chemo and radiation ... and we look just fine ... then we really are CURED! Don't they know that oncologists don't use the word "CURED" when it comes to cancer. It's just that we have no evidence of disease and we are considered in remission ... we are NOT cured! Instead we are scared to death ... every day. We try our best to put on a "happy/healthy" appearance ... but these idiots don't have a clue what's going on with our emotions. We will never be the same ... and shame on them for not understanding that. But ... thank goodness for this discussion board and wonderful people here. We DO understand and we are ALWAYS here for each other!

    love,
    Teena
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  • chenheart
    chenheart CSN Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #10
    tgf said:

    stupid
    Nope ... we can't fix stupid ... but I just wish they'd get a clue. They really do believe that the surgery got every little cancer cell in our body ... and that if our hair has grown back ... we've finished chemo and radiation ... and we look just fine ... then we really are CURED! Don't they know that oncologists don't use the word "CURED" when it comes to cancer. It's just that we have no evidence of disease and we are considered in remission ... we are NOT cured! Instead we are scared to death ... every day. We try our best to put on a "happy/healthy" appearance ... but these idiots don't have a clue what's going on with our emotions. We will never be the same ... and shame on them for not understanding that. But ... thank goodness for this discussion board and wonderful people here. We DO understand and we are ALWAYS here for each other!

    love,
    Teena

    So true~ if we could "get
    So true~ if we could "get over it", I wouldn't have had to tell every RN, tech, intern, anesthesiologist etc NOT to use my right arm for blood draws, BP, IVs, when I had gallbladder surgery on Monday. But even though my cancer was 7 YEARS ago, it is still apart of every medical decisons and how I am treated by the medical profession. It doesn't quite define me, but it certainly is a part of me....even getting a flu shot has to be done in the "other arm". So yeah, it's always there reminding us of what we went through to be here!

    Hugs and sighs,
    Chen♥
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  • New Flower
    New Flower CSN Member Posts: 4,294 Member
    #11
    padee6339 said:

    Another surprise
    I was talking to my Mother about it last night and how people say stupid things to me about it and I wondered why people are so insensitive. She told me ouright - everyone is sick of hearing about it. I made an excuse and hung up the phone. Even she doesn't get it. I got to thinking (after the tears) that mabe everyone is sick of hearing me talk about it. So I decided that the only people who I talk to about it will be people who ask me, you guys, and friends of mine who have gone through it.

    Pat
    it is true. We are here for you. I know even family members want to move on and never hear about BC anymore.
    Hugs,
    New Flower
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